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Young Writers Society



Whomerlock Chapter 10

by Dracula


Arthur had never felt so bewildered in his life. Well, except when his father had blindly married a dung-eating troll, but that was a whole other story. He had unlocked the storeroom and followed his friends inside, now they were all standing in front of the blue box.

There was a strong scent of grain lingering in the air, enough to make someone tipsy, but that wasn't what was causing the strange sensation Arthur felt. In his hand was the key Merlin had so closely guarded, and it was warm and throbbing. It made something tingle in his heart, it tugged at the innermost parts of his mind. If Arthur had tried to explain the feeling to Merlin or even Gwen, who was so empathetic, he was sure they'd have looked at him like a madman. They key was sad... lonely. It wanted to be reunited with the box.

"Is this magic?" He asked of no one in particular, his eyes frozen on the hand which clenched the key. It was beating, the key, it was as if it had a heartbeat.

"No," Merlin answered. "Not really, it's just from the future." He felt Gwen's soft hand brush against his neck before coming to a rest on his shoulder; a comforting gesture. Arthur knew he was shaking, but was his uncertainty that obvious?

"There are amazing things in the future," she said. "Things that we can't even imagine."

Arthur raised his eyes, looking closely at the blue box. He certainly wasn't imagining this; the box was alive, the key was alive, and they wanted to be united. If this was normal in the future... what marvelous things awaited Camelot? What his role in bringing it all about? He gave in to the throbbing sensation of the key for a moment- what this his role? He then focussed the feel of Gwen's hand on his shoulder- would she play a part in this future?

"We've got to hurry." Merlin's speech broke him from his thoughts. "The executions..."

"I'm ready." Arthur heard himself say, but it didn't feel like him speaking. It was the key, it was influencing him. But he couldn't say that; they'd think he was mad. Would the key even let him say that?

"Let's go, then." Gwen removed her hand and edged closer to the box. Merlin shifted a bag of grain which was blocking the door.

"Okay." Arthur stepped forward, the key guiding his every movement. He raised his arm, the key glowing, throbbing, almost burning his skin. He pushed it towards the hole, slid it in until the object refused to move further. He felt the excitement of the key as he turned it, slowly, then... click. The box's door opened.

Arthur wobbled, his eyes bulged. "For the love of Camelot..." He said in disbelief, surveying the tremendous, unearthly room before him. The lights flashed in rhythm, unnatural, mechanical sounds created melodies which vibrated in his ears, strange objects shifted up and down, left and right. And the size, it wasn't right, it couldn't possibly be real. But there it was, right before him, and Arthur felt himself grow light headed as he realised just how real it actually was. "...It's bigger on the inside!"

~

The Doctor was waiting patiently in his cell with John and Sherlock. The pair were engaging in a brotherly conversion, with whispered secrets and quiet laughter. He thought it must have been a rare occurrence, Sherlock not being the type to engage in friendly exchanges, so the Doctor kept out of their bubble.

His little bit of wall art was coming along well. It was a picture of the Tardis by Loch Ness, with Nessie performing a dance routine worthy of Swan Lake. At least that's what the picture was in his imagination. To the common eye, it might look like a rectangle, a worm, and some swirly squiggles. Archaeologists in the future would probably interpret it as some deep and meaningful hieroglyph. He laughed to himself, archaeologists could be real pudding brains at times. Except for one.

"How much fun it would be if you were here," He said to the wall, which he wished was River. But she was in the library now, hopefully enjoying life. "Of course she's enjoying life." River always made the most of every situation; even when he'd visited her all those times in prison, she'd made the cell seem like a palace.

"Doctor," Sherlock grunted, grabbing his attention. "We've got company."

Right at that moment, the Time Lord's ears picked up the familiar, heart-warming sound of the other Sexy in his life; his Tardis. How had the detective noticed it before him? Goodness, that man's mind was brilliant. So was Merlin's, and when he stepped out of the now materialised blue box, the Doctor hugged him in celebration of the successful flight.

"I said you'd be able to do it!"

"It was amazing!" Merlin beamed, his smile radiating around the cell.

Eleven peeked over the warlock's shoulder. Gwen was guiding a nauseous -or maybe just shocked- prince out of the time machine. She had her hand on his shoulder, the other clasping his own white fist, and Arthur was leaning against her as if he might faint at any moment.

"Don't worry," he reassured the future king, "some people vomit the first time."

"I just time travelled," Arthur said to the floor. Though, Eleven thought to himself, that was incorrect. Sherlock voiced the thought for him.

"No, you just travelled in space. It's all to do with dimensional laws. If you can control the individual atoms in the space-"

"Sherlock," John cut in. "You can explain everything later."

"Right." The Doctor considered the task at hand. They needed to find Morgana and convince her to break the ridiculously stupid deal she'd made with the aliens. "Where would our wicked witch be right at this moment?"

"In her chambers, getting ready for..." Gwen's voice wobbled a little as Arthur stumbled forward, loosing her grip on him, yet she continued, "for the midday luncheon."

"Hold on." Arthur held out a hand. He stumbled a little at first, but regained his regal posture and stood firm. His authority swept through the whole group, and all trains of thought ceased (except Sherlock's, probably). "We're not talking about Morgana, are we?"

The Doctor sighed. He found it both funny and frustrating how quickly the prince's attitude had changed. He'd gone from pale-faced and boggled to confused and dangerous. Merlin stepped forward, ready to act, so Eleven figured the warlock often dealt with such changes. He couldn't help think how excellent a companion Merlin would be, but if the Doctor knew anything about Camelot's future, he knew that it was of the utmost importance that the warlock stayed put.

"She's caused this, and you can ask her yourself," Merlin said. Gwen eyed him wearily, but everyone else in the room was ready for the truth to be spilled to the ignorant prince.

"Morgana is like a sister to me, she wouldn't-"

"Arthur, for once just listen..." Merlin began.

He spoke louder, "I won't have anyone-"

"Your highness!" Sherlock interrupted the little domestic and flicked his head towards the cell door. "We are currently in a dungeon. The acoustics are hardly very concealing."

He was right, of course. Their careless conversation had apparently echoed down the halls to the guards. The Doctor could hear the jingle of chain mail as the king's men approached them. It was time to go.

"Into the Tardis, please." He signalled towards the blue box, the light on top throbbing in welcome. Sexy was eager to welcome him home, and he lovingly patted her wooden frame as he stepped inside, an assortment of characters following closely behind.

~

Gwen watched with muddled emotions, a mixture of awe and fear, as Sherlock and John held Morgana firmly in their grip. They had materialised the blue box right in her chambers, where Morgana had been standing by the window, parchment and quill in hand. The deadly weapon, called a gun, had been on the windowsill beside her.

"Caught in the act, milady," Merlin said, hands on his hips, looking on in satisfaction. Gwen could understand his feelings, she was aware that Merlin had known about Morgana far longer than anyone else in Camelot. He'd had to keep it a secret for all this time, but now others knew. More importantly, Arthur knew.

Gwen felt truly devastated for Arthur. He practically fell out of the Tardis, rushing to aid Morgana. It must have been a reflex to help the damsel in distress; his life-long friend, practically a sister. She hissed at John and Sherlock, grabbed for the gun, but they held her arms stiff. Arthur's hand went for the knife in his belt sheath, but he faltered and stopped frozen in his tracks.

"What is that?" He pointed at the gun, disbelief on his face.

"It's called a gun," John explained, gritting his teeth as Morgana struggled further. Gwen thought John was having to restrain himself from clobbering the witch over her head and knocking her cold. Sherlock only seemed excited, there was the slightest hint of a grin on his face as he watched Arthur finally realise the truth.

Gwen didn't understand how the detective could find it so amusing. Poor, poor Arthur. He was just discovering that his life-long friend had betrayed him, and all of Camelot. What was amusing about that? 

John continued, "It can blast a hole right through a man's heart."

"The pigs!" Merlin connected the dots.

"Were only a trial run," Sherlock cut in, "the next bullet was meant for the king."

"You killed the pigs?" Arthur's voice shook. "Wait... meant for the king? Morgana?" Morgana finally relaxed in the men's grips, and her face darkened. Gwen saw the very depths of hell in her mistress' eyes.

"Uther deserves everything that's coming to him!" The witch snarled.

At that moment, the Doctor emerged from the Tardis, rubbing his hands together as if warming them. "Everything is ready to go!" His arm glided through the air in front of him as he said, "Destination: future!"

"Come on, then, Lady Morgana," Sherlock said mockingly as he and John led her to the blue box. Gwen felt herself step back as Morgana passed her, whether she did so out of fear or disgust, Gwen wasn't sure. But it saddened her heart to think of all the joyous moments she and the witch had once shared. And Arthur... 

He was at the window, holding the gun in his palms. He felt her gaze and placed it back on the sill, sighing. "Is there no peace in the future?" 

Gwen was about to say something comforting, to offer a shoulder to lean on, but Morgana replied first. "You have no future, Arthur Pendragon!" That triggered something inside of him, and the maidservant watched on as the prince drew his knife from the sheath and pointed it at Morgana.

"You have betrayed me, Morgana. You have betrayed Camelot." He began walking towards her, not lowering the blade. "Now get inside and put things right." 

The witch obliged, having nothing else to say. Gwen wondered what could possibly be said; Morgana's empty threats meant nothing with a knife at her chest. First, the Doctor disappeared back within, then John and Sherlock with Morgana, followed by Arthur and the sharp knife. Merlin held out a hand for Gwen and smiled tenderly as if asking whether she was okay. Gwen smiled, accepted his hand, and the two friends reentered the time machine. 

Gwen heard someone click their fingers, and the Tardis door closed behind her.


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120 Reviews


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Sun Sep 25, 2016 12:20 pm
RippleGylf wrote a review...



Hello! Ripple again. I think that I read this when you originally posted it, but didn't review it then. Well, I suppose I ought to review it now. I'm not entirely sure, but I think you changed the ending since I last read it, and I would say that it much better now in Gwen's perspective.

As always, I am absolutely loving this fanfiction. For the most part, you nail the character of each character. One of my favorite parts was Arthur seeing the inside of the TARDIS, though I expected more suspicions of sorcery.

However, there were a couple instances where it seemed slightly out of character.

He laughed to himself, archaeologists could be real pudding brains at times. Except for one.

While I don't doubt that the Doctor would use the word "pudding brain" from time to time, it seems off in this moment. The segue into talking about River also seems questionable. Yes going to archeology and then to River is the right move here, but it needs a few revisions to see what sounds the most natural.
Arthur's voice shook. "Wait... meant for the king? Morgana?"

Your dialogue in this whole chapter is very well done, but this line seems awkwardly worded. I also think that the attempted murder of the king would be much above worrying about the pigs.

Aside from those two things, this flows very well. I really enjoyed reading this, and can't wait for the next one. Thank you for writing this. :D




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Sat Sep 17, 2016 11:48 am
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Mea wrote a review...



Hi Dracula! Back again as always - I just really love this fanfic.

And I really enjoyed this part. Overall, it was a very smooth read.

Your weakest scene was your last one - but of course, you know that. As for whose head you should put it in, I honestly think Gwen's head fits really well. I don't think Arthur's head would be good, because it's far too easy to slip into melodrama, and Gwen's the other person that knows him really well. I'd definitely say either stick with her, or maybe Merlin.

The biggest thing I'd critique about it is just that you don't show enough of Arthur's reaction. It's just such an important character piece that you kind of skip over. You're probably just having a hard time with it, but I really think you could make something really powerful out of that scene. Again, I haven't actually finished Merlin, but maybe you could base it off the scene in the show where Arthur finds out what's going on (if he ever does). That would give you a pretty good base to work from. I think you've got the right idea - that he really does a 180 and is very cold to Morgana and angry with her. But I don't want to be told about it by Gwen - I want to see it.

I don't have much to say for the rest of this - this was a very solid chapter, with good humor. I loved the character interactions, and they all felt very much like their character. If I had one complaint, it's that John kind of vanishes into the background, but with a cast this large that's understandable.

He laughed to himself, archaeologists could be real pudding brains at times.

This is a comma splice - it should either be two sentences or formatted like dialogue, but in italics, to simulate character thoughts.

He'd almost shouted for the guards, but she guessed the realisation of his involvement had stopped him.

Did you mean to write "his involvement"? This sentence was just a big confusing.

Well, except when his father had blindly married a dung-eating troll,

This line made me laugh. :D

And that's all I've got! I await the next. :D





You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.
— Anne Lamott