When you write a poem it’s because emotion is so strong that words themselves can’t contain them. It’s an alternate form of expression. The essence of cadence and rhythm. The gods come down and sing through your pen and out comes emotion in paper form. Life is breathed into sound and imaginations take to the sky and hearts sink to the bottom of the ocean. But what happens when no magic is made? When you feel so deeply and so strongly that nothing can be formed and you just sit there staring at a blank page? Is that poetry? Is that beautiful? The world is so pointless and so meaningful. The sun shines for no reason yet it shines for only one thing in the universe that matters. The sky does not choose to exist yet the blues it creates and the shades of our perception are moved to the point of inexpression. Why does poetry exist? I can’t remember, but my soul yearns to be closer to heaven despite my faith that there is no such thing. If I were to be a poet I think my life would end. Everything would become Nothing which breaks me. Nothing would become Everything and that would kill me. Maybe I should stay in the middle ground of stream of consciousness and short stories and daydreams. Then my Something could be Anything.
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139,610 Literary Works • 672,622 Reviews
Hey there Djinn. Lizzy here for a redo of an old review. I was just going to edit the old one, but found it easier just to start new. So without further ado, let the reviewing begin.
Grammar and Spelling
After getting more experience, I found I did not thoroughly cover many elements of writing, in my earlier reviews.
- One of first points is not necessarily grammar, but also not enough to be split into another paragraph. I think that this piece would be better if split up a little bit. I think two paragraphs would be sufficient. You may also want to reorganize your points.
- The capitalization in the last sentence may be for emphasis but it still bothers me a bit. Try italicizing or placing text in bold instead.
Content
-This is most likely my favorite part of your poem, because the reader can feel the emotions. I also wonder if this description of poetry could be transformed into a poem. I make this point, mostly because of the emotion the reader can feel in each line.
Praise
My original review was mostly praise so I decided to create a little category for that. I really did like your short story, as it is a really good description of poetry. There is only one good point I could salvage from my old review.
My old review was not very good and I apologize for this. It was the first review I ever wrote. Anyways, loved your poem.
Happy New Year!
-lizzy
Hi! Ready for my review?
But that's a bit extreme in some ways, isn't it?
This really does feel like more of a poem than a short story. But I guess that the whole short story aspect of it could work too.
Writing is a wonderful thing, isn't it?
Normally, I would suggest that you use paragraphing, but doing that will make it seem like more of a poem than a short story.
Either way, this was beautiful. The way you questioned pretty much what has always been there while still somehow talking about poetry was amazing. This is a very unique piece of art that you don't see very often (like one out of thirty stories) on YWS. This was just so cool in some ways I cannot describe.
Questions is what moves everything on, doesn't it? In a way, you have used that fantastically, yet uniquely. This was somehow masterful and moving. Sometimes, you'd think that this is the voice of life!
Some of the things that you have written here are so true. Really, they are. It seems that you have weaved this with so many layers when you think about it. Was this planned? Or was it some strange coincidence that I seem to be looking too far into?
That's all from me.
Never stop writing (seriously!),
~Holographic Ladybug
Oh my. This is the most wonderful description of poetry I have every seen. In Lit classes they always explain that poems have symbolic meanings or that they focus around basic emotions. If we are to write a poem let us not just dabble but put every single thought running through are heads into to it too. I loved your 4th sentence, so beautiful, as is the rest of your masterpiece.
Thank you for that. It's actually nice to see something different then, "It's so you can express yourself." It gets old this is a breath of fresh air. I also love the last line it almost seemed like you were proving a point that was already believed. It was just a very good way to end it. I'm glad you enjoy poetry a friend of mine also does and i dabble in it I guess. :3 I really liked your explanation though you seem very into poetry. Keep writing! Even though this is something about poetry it's great
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Check out my work if you'd like!