Young Writers Society

Hi
LOL!!! When i first read the whole poem i was amused to see this piece of art. It's a fun to see that you explained your friendship in just three lines. Moreover, it was an unexpected twist for me. But i'm just a bit confused about using the term 'synonyms' as the last line
'but we never actually were the same' contradict the whole term. However, i admire everything you wrote about the nature of friendship. The term synonyms refers to the term indicating the same meaning but the usage of the last line even after 'but' rejects the title.

But i love your three-pieced line poem it's short and quite time saving. So, it's most probably mind-refreshing and fun to free these poems free of cost. keep it up and write more

Hello DivergentDemigod,

Firstly, I wanted to point out that the description of your poem ("This one is for my ex-bestfriend...") did a nice job pulling me in to read your piece. I wondered what the relation was between synonyms and friendship.

That said, this is an amusing poem that truthfully confronts the reality that not all friendships are meant to last. Does its short length mirror an abrupt parting of ways?

This my only gentle suggestion:

I would un-italicize the word synonyms in line one, and follow it with a period. I felt a strong break after synonyms, as though the speaker was meditating on the thought briefly.

Even sans alteration, this was a thoughtful and enjoyable poem to read. Nice work! I hope you continue with your talent, and write often!

If I can review any other pieces for you, feel free to shoot me a PM.

Have a great day!

-mav


Mavis Knightley
www.mavisknightley.weebly.com

Hello, Empires here with a review!

The title was intriguing and very fitting for a site for writers! Although it is poem on the shorter side, it still has a lot of meaning.

"You and I were like synonyms,"

I feel that the italics on the word, "synonym", was not needed, it had enough emphasis and focus without the italic, additionally as the title gave the clue the poem would be about synonyms it could do without it.

"we might have been similar in ways,"

Here, it would be even better if you expanded on the ways that the persona and perhaps significant other were similar and maybe added some imagery to set the scene more. Comparing them in similar ways would be very interesting to see - this would have also made the final line much more significant.


"but we never actually were the same."

This was a good ending, it reiterated the meaning of a synonym I suppose.


Overall its a great poem, however I feel that it reads almost as if it were the final stanza of a larger poem as there is some missing information that the reader can only speculate about with limited imagery/metaphors.


Keep writing!

Hello!
Dropping by to write a quick comment or two just because of how much I enjoyed the simplicity of this poem. The structure reminds me of a haiku - albeit one with far too syllables - due to the three lines and non-rhyming scheme.
The message is clear, poetically stated, and uses the simile without feeling stretched thin or forced.
I like the use of the synonym simile. As I writer I'm of course biased with background knowledge, but the point this poem makes makes competent use of the concept to convey the point.
The emotional weight of this, due to the simplicity, has to be inferred, but I read it as a wistful reflection, but lacking the regret.

By way of editing for this poem's betterment, I would, if anything, suggest a further simplification. There are words here that don't need to be; dead weight words. With a poem this small, words that don't add pop out.
Here's a quick edit that I think constitutes the bare minimum of this poem at essence. Do with it what you will.

You and I were synonyms.
We might have been similar,
but never the same.

Carry on!

Hello! Ripple here.

This is a rather concise poem, but it gets the point across well. While I really like the simile you make here, I just wish that there was more. This single stanza, though it works just fine as a standalone, would work really well as the conclusion of a longer poem, in my opinion.

In addition, there is a minor pacing issue I'd like to point out. The line break between the second and third lines doesn't match up with the pause at the comma when reading "aloud." This is not necessarily a bad thing, but with the two so close together, but not quite, it hurts the flow of the piece. You could just move the comma to the end of the second line, and I think that would fix it.

Overall, I really like this. Maybe try to expand it a bit. Otherwise, it is absolutely wonderful. Keep writing!

Hey DivergentDemigod it's AshleyDashley here for a review.

I really liked your tile to start off with. But there is not really much here. I think it needs to be longer in order to get what your saying. I understand what your talking about, but can you give more detail as to why you feel this way? It would make it more personal and better. Its just to dry right now in my opinion. It needs depth. Also after synonyms it should be a period and the w in we should be capitalized and the but should go after ways and then a comma and then the w in the second we should be capitalized. At least this is how I would do it. Other than that I liked it. I think with a little work this could turn out to be an extraordinary piece of work! Keep up the good work and i hope to read more of your work in the future!

AshleyDashley