Tears of Rainbows

Hello.
Kanome here with a review.

This poem became hopeful in the end. It just means that there is a light for anyone who is in the darkness, sad and alone. That's the main thing I like about this poem. Even though the person in this poem was alone and scared, they found a shed of "light" that gives them hope and gets them out of the darkness.

Nitpicks:
I believe the word "Maybe" is not needed in this poem. It doesn't feel like it belongs.

Also, I think you meant quiet instead of quite. People sometimes get those two words mixed up.

Where it says "The tears"
- What about the tears?
- What do they represent in that part of the poem?

Other than that, this was a good poem, even though it was your first work on YWS.

Keep writing. I can't wait to read more.

Kanome

OMG! To be a 10 year old you sure have the writing material I can see you writing one of those dark mysterious scary books which I think you should do more and more. Now the punctuations are on point and you should do a punctuation on i cry tears of sadness you are a very skilled poetry writer and I hope you continue to write more thank you for your time

Heya, this is Craz with a review~

There are some small errors here and there, but it looks like the reviewer below me had already went over some of that. So, instead of repeating information you already have, I'll go over the message of this poem and how to make it more effective.

Right off the bat I can tell that this is about depression and recovering from it. This concept has become common in more modern/ young poetry (sadly) so, to avoid platitude, you need to add some... pizazz, I guess. The rainbow idea I like. I suggest to theme the beginning of the poem to fit it more like a storm, so it transitions smoothly into the idea of a rainbow. Since, you know, rainbows appear after heavy rain. I can see some of that, but the very beginning starts out as your average depressing poem. Make the narrator's tears the heavy rain, and get more abstract with it. Things don't always have to be direct, especially in poetry.

I know I said I was just going over ideas and the message, but, I feel like this needs to be said. Poetry is not like writing a novel, or a short story, or almost any other type of writing. It is unique. Therefore, normal punctuation and capitalization rules do not apply. It's like the rule that "every line has to rhyme" which we were all taught at a young age to think is true, which anyone who has spent a decent amount of time writing or reading poetry will gasp at. I myself used to believe that, and it makes me glad that someone eventually told me otherwise. Do not feel the need that you have to capitalize every letter at the beginning of a line. Capitalization, in poetry, is used to draw the reader to a certain word and highlight its importance, so words, even in the middle of a line, can be capitalized if the poet wants it to be. It is simply a matter of capitalizing effectively.

Oh yeah, and remember to break your poem into stanzas. This sight is a little fickle with that, so remember that when you do want to double-space hit shift-enter.

~Craz

Hello! Here is my review! I actually like the poem but the tone is off balance for me. In the poem, you can erase the word "maybe" because for me it destroy the balance of the tone. When you read poem, there is always a pause and when there is a pause it give balance like making a curvy wave line. So it going to be like this:

I can cry
In tears of sadness.

But now I see something
Blithe

But now I see something blithe
A rainbow to be persisted;

So quiet can hear it

So quiet, I can hear it

Hello!

Okay, so to begin, I want to cover the bad things to get them out of the way.

"I hurl in a small ball

With a tear that drops to the cobblestone"

That line left me a bit confused. I'm not sure if it's a typo, or if you meant to make it "hurl" instead of "curl" or what's going on. It left completely lost for most of the poem. Rereading it doesn't seem to help, so I suggest rethinking this bit.

"But now I see something

blithe"

I caught back on around this line, this and the lines following are well done, in my opinion. I can feel what you're trying to convey, and that feeling escaped me for the rest of the poem. I suggest doing some serious rethinking about the entire middle section, from the earlier mentioned lines all the way up to "Just buried in sadness".

The flow of this poem was perfect, I will tell you that.

This was very interesting to read, to say the least. I hope I get to see more from you in the future.

Keep writing!