Don’t cry
Don’t you dare feel sad for even a tenth of a second,
Only depressed girls get sad
And you are not depressed.
Don’t get mad
Don’t you dare talk back to me in such a tone,
Only delinquents get angry
And I don’t tolerate delinquents.
I have very few rules in this house,
Keep your shoulders square and listen:
You are not to be yourself,
I will not tolerate such behavior.
Always do what I tell you,
And always do what I wanted to tell you but didn’t
Because I expect you to read my mind at all times.
Finish your homework
But don’t stay up too late either.
I expect you to have a social life
But you are not to hang out with your friends.
If I deem any of your friends a bad influence
Then you must cut contact with them immediately,
I’m not being unfair.
If anything, you have it better than I did when I was your age.
You will go to college when you are of age
And I will force you into the future I never had.
I expect full respect but I’m not obligated to be nice to you.
You live under my roof
And I pay for that phone you use,
I didn’t have to do that.
You’re lucky, really, when I was your age I didn’t have all of this.
I expect you to use manners when speaking to me
Because I am your superior and I shall be treated as such.
Don’t talk back to me
I have the right to take that phone away
And lock you in your room all day.
DON’T you ever forget
That I can take everything you have.
YOU are mine until you turn 18,
Because you are not a person until you reach that age.
Until then, you’re mine.
Don’t act like you have an opinion
Because you don’t know anything.
I am the adult,
Your only responsibility is school work.
DON’T talk back to me
I am your superior.
DON’T act like I am your equal
Because you are below me;
Don’t you dare feel sad for even a tenth of a second
Or I’ll give you a real reason to cry.
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139,534 Literary Works • 672,600 Reviews
This poem reminded me a bit of clips from children's beauty pageants. You know the ones, with the parents forcing their children to wear makeup, stuff them in frilly costumes, and do all these weird dances. Those sorts of things have always disturbed me.
The last stanza of the piece hit hard. It makes me sick that this sort of thing does happen. This poem had me queasy the whole way through (In a good way, if that makes any sense)
One tiny little nitpick I have, in the first stanza, I thought that it was someone telling themselves not to cry. That confused me for awhile, and I couldn't figure out who was speaking for awhile.
If you wanted to fix that, my suggestion would be to switch around the first and second stanzas. That would make it so you have an idea who is speaking, and the "Don't you dare cry" Is less confusing.
Then again, maybe it was just me who was thrown off. Besides, that might mess with the last stanza slightly.
But yeah, the way you portrayed toxic relationships between parent and child made me uncomfortable in the best way. It made me appreciate what I have even more. I think this poem is a good wake up call to parents who treat their children this way.
Keep on writing, and have a great day!
This is stunning and perfectly captures abusive or controlling parents. It's simple, but angry and shows the trauma caused by parents like that. Reading it, I could really feel the emotions and anger of the child, and it really captures the hatred that comes from this kind of abusive relationship.
I like how it shows the parent's point of view, but still expresses the child's frustration and pain.
Thank you and welcome to yws
Thank you so much! I really love your writing
This piece gives me the feel of a toxic parent/child relationship. Much too often, I see parents try to live vicariously through their children, causing unfounded pain and trauma well into adulthood. I loved this piece very much - it seemed like I was reading angrily-fueled dialogue. Very nice job.
-Minty Leaf.
Thank you
You're welcome.
Happy writing!
-ml
You did a really good job on this poem, I did not see any grammatical errors, or the wrong use of punctuation. I guessing the person speaking this is the older than the reader, and is telling them all this stuff. It is very relatable in a way, parents or people expecting you to do the things they want without even asking. Parents having goals that unjust, and almost impossible to do, their expectations are way to high.
I think you did a really good job expressing that throughout the poem with lines like.
"Finish your homework
But don’t stay up too late either.
I expect you to have a social life
But you are not to hang out with your friends.
If I deem any of your friends a bad influence
Then you must cut contact with them immediately,"
Overall: It was a great poem, and you did a really good job on it. Can't wait to read what you write next.
Carpe diem,
LUNARGIRL
I like this. I'm assuming the person speaking is older than the reader\in charge of them. I feel people may relate to this. It isnt very eye catching once you open it, its more forceful and direct, but some people prefer that.
I think you did a wonderful job expressing this