@alliyah enjoy! : )
The sun was hazy through the window.
I was so happy to see those cows,
Big brown eyes like mine.
I always worried about my eyes,
Plain jane,
Just the color of chocolate.
But then I realized,
In that young age,
If my eyes were that of a cows,
Then they belonged to someone that would,
Eventually,
Be loved.
Watashi ga kita (again)!
Going to drop a quick review.
First of all, I love the feeling behind the poem. It's so sweet and so delicate, you've done a nice job expressing how anxious you were and how you started to love yourself. It's wonderful.
Also, a cow's eyes are so deep. They're like these soft brown wells you just fall into.
There are a couple of little edits you may want to make, though:
The opening line created a nice image, but it didn't connect to the rest of the poem, so made for an unsuitable beginning. Maybe you could add a short line about how you looked out the window, and then saw the cows.
I think the third line should begin with the word "With."
If my eyes were that of a cows,
Moo, I'm here with a very short review! that rhymes
Wow, you really have cow eyes? Me too! My eyes are a bit hazel brown rather than darkish though. Perhaps the colour of chocolate? Maybe?
I love this. The idea of a "Cow" poem is great, and by "Cow", I mean both the animal and YOU! By the title and the entirety of the poem, I felt that this poem was about hope? It's just the feeling eyes give you I guess. They give hope. Especially eyes that are brown and give a glimmer of hope for a ray of sunshine after the storm. CLICHE
If my eyes were that of a cows,
If my eyes were that of a cows,
Then they belonged to someone that would,
Eventually,
Be loved.
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