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E - Everyone

Entry 1 - Cow Eyes.

by Cow


The sun was hazy through the window.

I was so happy to see those cows,

Big brown eyes like mine.

I always worried about my eyes,

Plain jane,

Just the color of chocolate.

But then I realized, 

In that young age,

If my eyes were that of a cows,

Then they belonged to someone that would,

Eventually,

Be loved.


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Fri Jun 26, 2020 1:26 am
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Cow says...



@alliyah enjoy! : )




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Mon Jun 22, 2020 12:52 pm
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LittleLee wrote a review...



Watashi ga kita (again)!
Going to drop a quick review.
First of all, I love the feeling behind the poem. It's so sweet and so delicate, you've done a nice job expressing how anxious you were and how you started to love yourself. It's wonderful.
Also, a cow's eyes are so deep. They're like these soft brown wells you just fall into.

There are a couple of little edits you may want to make, though:

The opening line created a nice image, but it didn't connect to the rest of the poem, so made for an unsuitable beginning. Maybe you could add a short line about how you looked out the window, and then saw the cows.

I think the third line should begin with the word "With."

If my eyes were that of a cows,

Since "eyes" is plural, "that" should be replaced with "those", and there ought to be an apostrophe in "cow's".

That's it! Otherwise, like I mentioned, you poem is really nice. Short, simple and sweet. A soft poem. And the note of hope at the ending was quite touching. It feels like it was written with double perspective, which it was; you recounted something that happened when you were a child but through the words of someone older. Great work!
I'd love to see more of where this came from. Keep writing, and good luck!
- Lee




Cow says...


Aw, thank you!



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Mon Jun 22, 2020 7:55 am
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Gravitem wrote a review...



Moo, I'm here with a very short review! that rhymes

Wow, you really have cow eyes? Me too! My eyes are a bit hazel brown rather than darkish though. Perhaps the colour of chocolate? Maybe?

I love this. The idea of a "Cow" poem is great, and by "Cow", I mean both the animal and YOU! By the title and the entirety of the poem, I felt that this poem was about hope? It's just the feeling eyes give you I guess. They give hope. Especially eyes that are brown and give a glimmer of hope for a ray of sunshine after the storm. CLICHE

Spoiler! :
typo alert

If my eyes were that of a cows,


This is a very confusing typo, because well I CAN'T FIGURE OUT IF COW WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SINGULAR OR i[]PLURAL[/i]!!!

Moving on; I was most touched by the last four lines. Those lines are what convinced me that this was about hope.
If my eyes were that of a cows,

Then they belonged to someone that would,

Eventually,

Be loved.

The pauses were a pleasant touch. It makes me feel like it was written to put someone to sleep. It could be a lullaby for a person in despair, a person who's dying or a person with no will to live. That's just how deep this poem touched. I'm glad you tagged me. Thank you. This poem was lovely.

Yours sincerely,
Myth <3




Cow says...


Aw, thank you! I hadn't written poem in over a year. I wanna try to make a bunch based on things i remember from my childhood that were warning signs of my anxiety, and this was the earliest one i could remember. I'd guess i was around 4 or 5, i really hated my brown eyes at the time.



LittleLee says...


Your eyes are so not that shade Grav



Gravitem says...


?
look again
It's not like you've outstared me or something and that you know that the hard way.



Gravitem says...


They're a lighter shade of brown, so WHAT!!!!



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41 Reviews


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Mon Jun 22, 2020 6:57 am
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Cow says...



@LittleLee @Gravitem

Haven't written poetry in so long so enjoy??




Gravitem says...


Ghosh I'mma review this is a very informal style.



Gravitem says...


my damn keyboard makes me sound like a hobo....



Cow says...


PFFT



LittleLee says...


Watashi ga kitaaaaaaaa but right now I'm actually sitting in class so I can't concentrate on a good review.



Gravitem says...


oop lol he was sitting in my mom's class! ahaahahaahaha




There's a Brazilian things you could write about. You just gotta pick Juan.
— Hattable