Come with me
It won’t take but a minute
Come with me
You won’t be gone for long
Follow me
Take my hand and walk
Follow me
Let me guide you through this passage
Talk to me
Are you scared, frightened
Talk to me
It’ll all be over soon
Look at me
We’re done, it’s over
Look at me
You can be free
Listen to me
It happened for a reason
Listen to me
It was just your time
It was just your time
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141,379 Literary Works • 674,383 Reviews
Really like this for some reason!
When I read the first two lines and just wanted to read more. As I read it, it sounded a bit creepy but in a good way.
I also like how it flows through each line and yeah I like it!
Keep up the good work! - TheDarkWriter
Hello!
Now...on with the review!
I love repetition in poems, it really emphasizes your point!
This is just my opinion, but I think some punctuation is needed here. Just after 'frightened', I would put a question mark.
I think you should put an "ellipses" (is that what they're called...? xD) after the second 'time'. Like this -
"It was just your time
It was just your time..."
Just my opinion, again, but I would keep the rest of your poem as it is, otherwise it would disrupt your beautiful flow...
Other than that, this was great! Fantastic job, and keep writing!
~Snazzy, Pencil, Penicillin, etc.
Stay awesome!
Hey, Minty here for a review
you don't really have any idea what is going on, but the confusion is great.LOVED THIS A LOT! The repetition made the poem a lot more powerful.
I love how in the first few lines
Then this happens, you finally realize that it is death, which I was like "woah!"
I would recommend seperating the poem into stanzas, to make it easier to read.
My take on the poem (if you care) was that the repetition shows "death" almost desperate for the person to accept him, even as he is taking him away.
"death" seem like he is saying "please understand, I have to do this, please don't be mad" and I really like that!
Loved it, keep writing
Liked the last part. And the whole poem! I thought it's a creepy poem or something, because I've seen something like this before. But when I read it as a whole, I thought, nope. This is much much better. 9.8/10