I hate you.

by ChibiGiraffe

Published May 9, 2011

In Poems

Spoiler! :
Wrote this because I had inspiration. Heck yes.

I hate you.

I hate how you tease me.
How you say “Just kidding!”
When I thought you meant it.

I hate how you trick me.
How you hug me tightly
and I think, maybe
you might actually care.

I hate how I feel when I’m around you.
How my heart leaps
when you walk into the room.
How I can’t think straight
when you smile at me.

I hate how I promised I’d never fall for you again.
How I thought I’ve learned my lesson.
But I guess I didn’t,
and I’m the one hurt in the end.

Comments & reviews · 8
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kimkim10101 Comment
kimkim10101 commented Comment · May 21, 2011

This reminds me of this boy I loved since fifth grade and he broke my heart and I said I would never fall for him again but here i am again in love with him. I always get hurt in the end.

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shiney1
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shiney1 wrote a review Review · May 16, 2011

This poem was cute,, but it may be hard for me to totally focus on this review since I was trying hard not to laugh at you avatar XD


I hate you.

I hate how you tease me.
How you say “Just kidding!”
When I thought you meant it. I hate it when people do that to me as well.

I hate how you trick me.
How you hug me tightly
and I think, 'Maybe
you might actually care.'
Since you are thinking it, or use italics.

I hate how I feel when I’m around you.
How my heart leaps
when you walk into the room.
How I can’t think straight
when you smile at me.

I hate how I promised I’d never fall for you again.
How I thought I’ve learned my lesson.
But I guess I didn’t,
and I’m the one hurt in the end. This last stanza did not flow so well, but since I have nothing better, leave it be :)



Good emotion, and funny avatar. Keep writing!

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XxjustmeXx
Comment
XxjustmeXx commented Comment · May 13, 2011

I liked this one, it's nice and simple yet holds true emotion. It doesn't really have much imagery, which I usually look for in a good poem, but it's still quite good. Anyways, great job and good luck on future writes.

AdoxagraphyAngelus wrote a review Review · May 11, 2011

I really enjoyed reading this. :) The other reviewers have told you any nitpicks that I have, so, yeah. :) What I really like about this poem was the persistence not being too much. And it reminded me of Ten Things I Hate about You. The movie, not the show. :P Anyways, wonderful job. :)

writeitalldown wrote a review Review · May 11, 2011

First I must compliment you on your simple yet bold title, the reason I clicked on your poem.

"How I thought I've learned my lesson" <----It may be just me, but I don't think this line flows very well.

I think thats it for nit-picks. I am very happy, that you wrote this poem from an inspiration. That just makes the emotion in the poem so much more powerful. The poem captured everything that it was intended to, without really saying it, which I liked. For example in your third stanza you really let the reader know that you were in love with the guy, without saying. "I thought I loved you" or some over-used, cliche line. Good-job, overall and keep writing!

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PinkPanther
Review
PinkPanther wrote a review Review · May 9, 2011

That was a very cute poem! I loved it! My favorite line was:

I hate how you tease me.
How you say “Just kidding!”
When I thought you meant it.


The absolute truth of it knocked the breath out of me. When I read it, my stomach fell - I WAS ACTUALLY ANGRY! I was like - who is this guy? And after, I was laughing at myself. But I guess that's what a good poet does - he makes you feel something through his words. Very, very nice job.
And I like the title!!!^^

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silentwords
Review
silentwords wrote a review Review · May 9, 2011

Loved this poem! The emotion was very strong. I also think that this poem is very easy to relate to. You did a good job of getting your point across. (:
I also agree with kittengirl2 about the fact that you used "I hate how..." to start of with each line. The repetition was very powerful. This really highlighted your emotion and your point. However, I don't agree that you should change your first stanza to "When I knew you meant it." I personally think it sounds good the way you wrote it. It is showing how you want to believe what they are saying is true, but you can't seem to trust them. You are unsure of how to feel and how they feel.

I thought the second line was kind of hard to read:

I hate how I promised I’d never fall for you again.
How I thought I’ve learned my lesson.But I guess I didn’t,
and I’m the one hurt in the end.
It didn't seem to flow right. I think it would sound better if you wrote "I'd" instead of "I've".

Overall, I really enjoyed this poem. Great work, keep it up! :D

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Kittengirl2
Review
Kittengirl2 wrote a review Review · May 9, 2011

I really like this, it's kind of ironic, and I think lots of people can relate to it. I like how you began each stanza with, 'I hate how...' It really emphasized your point.

ChibiGiraffe wrote:I hate how you tease me.
How you say “Just kidding!”
When I thought you meant it.

A very nice opening. One nitpick: did you think they meant it? Or did you know? I think it would sound better if you changed that last line to 'When I knew you meant it.'

ChibiGiraffe wrote:I hate how you trick me.
How you hug me tightly
and I think, maybe
you might actually care.

This stanza is kind of plain to me. It wouldn't hurt to add a little more imagery, but it's not strictly necessary.

ChibiGiraffe wrote:I hate how I feel when I’m around you.
How my heart leaps
when you walk into the room.
How I can’t think straight
when you smile at me.

I like this one. That's all I have to say.

ChibiGiraffe wrote:I hate how I promised I’d never fall for you again.
How I thought I’ve learned my lesson.
But I guess I didn’t,
and I’m the one hurt in the end.

Very awesome ending, and so true. The first line here is kind of long, I would recommend breaking it after 'promised.' And promised who? Yourself? A friend? It's kind of weird just to say you promised, but to no one in particular.

Overall, great job with this. Keep writing!

~KG



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