z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Poet's Branch (Part 1)

by Charm


By the end of May, when the flowers were in full bloom and the fruit on the apricots trees were perfectly ripe, Poet hopped onto a train. It was a long ride to the countryside where her grandmother lived but she rather enjoyed it. The scenery of fields of marigolds and lavender was beautiful. The train went through tunnels and through dense forests of evergreens, and Poet always looked forward to seeing her grandmother through the thinly paned window when the train finally strained to a stop.

The train station was a small, old fashioned building and was beautiful like the rest of the town. Its architecture was elegant and refined like most things from its original era. As the doors of the train opened, Poet stepped out and looked around. The cluttered crowd of tall adults was hard for her to see through, but through the crack of space between a young couple, she could see her grandmother sitting on a green bench.

Poet skipped over to her grandmother and hugged her. The old woman chuckled and held Poet’s hand, “How was your train ride, dear?” she asked. It was Poet’s first train ride alone. Usually her older brother, Oliver came with her but he wanted to spend his summer with their father in France.

“It was nice,” Poet smiled and spoke with her silvery voice.

“I’m glad to hear it,” her grandmother said and squeezed her hand. “Well how about some ice cream?”

Poet and her grandmother walked hand in hand along the gravel path of the country side. The hot spring sun melted Poet’s ice cream, sending it in streams down her hand. The houses along the gravel road were quaint and cozy, with white picketed fences, red brick, and colorful shutters.

Grandmother’s house was a small cottage like home at the end of the road. It was surrounded by fields of wild flowers and resembled little red riding hood’s grandmother’s cottage. The thought made Poet giggle.

“Here we are, then,” Poet’s grandmother panted, she was slightly out of breath from the long walk. Her long, thin fingers wrapped around the lock and opened the gate and Poet’s grandmother motioned for Poet to walk in.

Joyfully, Poet hopped into the yard and skipped to the front door, eager to get inside. Once her grandmother turned the lock, her wish was granted. The inside of the cottage was cozier than the already cozy outside, with a fire place, old books and knitted blankets thrown around.

Poet dashed past her grandmother, laughing and giggling with excitement and ran up to her bedroom which was upstairs.

The upstairs of the cottage used to be an attic but Poet’s grandfather built bedrooms and a bathroom up there for Poet, Oliver and their parents. There was a small bathroom with a tiny bathtub not even big enough for Oliver to stretch out his long legs and green cabinets decorated with flowers. Poet’s parent’s bedroom was on the far side of the upstairs and had crème colored walls and a colorful quilt on a queen sized bed.

Poet and Oliver shared a bedroom. It was a small room with simple floral wallpaper. On the flowers that were painted on the wallpaper you could see little fairies hiding, dancing and doing their fairy like things. Poet loved fairies, her grandmother had given her many books about them for her birthdays and Christmases.

With a grin she walked over to her bed, hers was the one by the window. She fought her brother over getting that bed. Poet loved to look at the stars at night, hoping and dreaming of the dancing fairies and their night songs.

“Poet!” her grandmother called from downstairs.

“Yes, Granny?” Poet yelled back.

“I made marble cake, if you want some, come and get it!”

Immediately Poet dropped her little suitcase on the floor and ran down stairs to the kitchen. The marble cake was on a platter on the counter and Poet had to stand on her tippy toes to reach it. She took two pieces being greedy and ate one of them as fast as she could before her grandmother could scold her. Then she went outside to sit on the swing and to slowly eat the second slice.

The swing was probably Poet’s favorite thing about her grandmother’s house. It was simple; a plank of wood and a rope, but it was the tree that it was hanging from that Poet loved. The tree was a weeping willow that took over most of the large yard and there was a stream that ran through the back separating the dense wood from the house’s property.

It was beautiful and whenever Poet looked at it her imagination went wild! She imagined the pretty fairies singing and dancing in its branches. Her grandmother said that the sound of the leaves rustling were actually the whispers of the willow fairies, silently singing and whispering their songs.

Poet swung on her swing until the sun set in the west, the orange colors melted against each other and bled like ink through the leaves of the weeping willow tree. The smell of Poet’s grandmother’s cooking swam across the wind filling Poet’s nose with the smell of roast beef, gravy and pies.

A week had passed since Poet had her first train ride alone, and now she was standing knee deep in a muggy pond. Her overalls were rolled up to her knees and mud was painted on her face like war paint. Birds sang and flapped through the trees, creating a ruckus.

In her little hand she held a large stick she found in the woods and was stabbing away at the slimy fish in the pond. Suddenly, the noise of the forest seized and Poet looked around confused. The whispers of the willows were the only sound in whole wood. Slowly, Poet stepped out of the pond and as her bare foot touched the damp dirt, she heard a quiet little giggle. Shocked and scared, Poet dropped her stick and looked around frantically. The water from the splash of the stick bounced back and covered Poet’s petite little body with water.

The giggle grew louder and turned into a cackle. Poet pushed her soaked blonde curls back, revealing her beet red face and glared around looking for whatever was laughing at her and this time she saw it. To her shock, there was a little creature seated on a branch, his little legs were dangling back and forth as he wheezed of laughter.

Once the silver haired figure caught Poet’s eye, his lips formed a straight line and his giggles stopped. Poet was not amused. Her clothes were soaked with muddy water and she now had to find her way home and explain to her grandmother why she was soaked and covered in mud from head to toe.

Suddenly, Poet’s eyes grew wide once she saw the little figure had sprouted wings that were curled behind his small torso. The figure, which Poet was now certain was a fairy, flew down from the tree branch above and down to Poet. Before they exchanged words, he started to twirl around her, faster and faster until he stopped and Poet was magically clean. All the mud on her disappeared and there wasn’t a single drop of water on her body.

Poet gasped and looked around but everything seemed so large. Her head became fuzzy and out of dizziness she fell on her backside, onto the soft grass that tickled her cheeks.

The fairy walked over to Poet with a huge grin on his face and gave her his hand to help her up. “Good afternoon,” he said politely. Poet took his hand and let him help her up but didn’t answer him. She didn’t even know what to say.

The fairy whispered, “This is when you say ‘good afternoon’ back or at least acknowledge the person who spoke to you.”

Poet took a step back, her eyes frightened and answered in a squeaky voice, “Good afternoon…”

The fairy laughed, “Gosh, don’t look terrified. Haven’t you seen a fairy before?” he giggled, knowing that she hadn’t. She shook her head and the fairy responded, “Well, I will introduce myself first. My name is Eldon Willow.” After a long pause of Poet just staring at him, he spoke again, “and yours is?”

“Poet,” she squeaked out.

Eldon raised an eyebrow and answered, “Hmm that’s unusual name. Usually humans have names like Mary, William, Elizabeth, Jonathan or Frederick…”

Poet shrugged and answered quietly, “My brother’s name is Oliver and that’s a pretty common name…”

Eldon nodded and then changed the subject, “Well…I’d best be going on my way.” The fairy turned around and jumped up into the hair like a cat. His wings started to flutter and pull him away into the far away tree tops. “Have a nice day!” he called out as he disappeared, his wings camouflaging with the willow leaves.

Poet shook her head of the idea of that particular conversation and turned to walk home. After walking around trying to find anything that reminded her of the way she came, she gave up and with a huff sat down on a large mushroom. With a frown on her face, Poet threw and stick at a huge tree trunk.

Suddenly, with a gasp, she realized that everything was very, very large and perhaps…she had shrunk… Now to think of it, the fairy seemed to have been the same size as her when they were talking but not before, he was no bigger than a pencil at first. But no, Poet shook her head, that was all out of her imagination. It happened often, the daydreaming was a horrible habit of hers that Poet’s school teachers found very annoying.

But maybe it was true… Poet looked up at the huge trees that towered above her and looked down at the large mushroom she sat on. Suddenly with a sob, tears starting falling down her face, “Oh God!” she called out, “How will I get home now?” The fairy was gone and left her alone and shrunk.

Poet sat there on the mushroom, tears falling down her cheeks like rushing streams falling down the side of a mountain. Her sobs filled the forest that was quiet expect for the random chirp of a bird or snap of a branch.

She wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting their crying out a sea but soon a voice interrupted her, “Why are you crying?” a male voice asked.

Poet looked up surprised and stared at Eldon Willow, his eyebrow was raised and his face was confused, “Because I’m lost…” Poet replied and as soon as she spoke those words, her lip started to quiver again.

Eldon tilted his head like a confused puppy and answered, “What do you mean?”

Poet, annoyed at the fact that Eldon didn’t understand, spoke, “I’m shrunk and I can’t find my way home. It’s getting late and once it’s dark, I’ll really be lost!” her voice started to rise as her salty tears flowed out of her eyes rapidly.

With her little hands Poet whipped the water off her cheeks but that water was soon replaced by more tears. Eldon blinked and answered, “Well…I know how to get you home.”

Poet gasped, “You do?”

Eldon nodded and beckoned her to follow him. Poet hopped down from the mushroom and whipped her face for the last time. They walked through the forest, hopping over branches that would normally snap under Poet’s original sized feet. The sound of rushing water filled her ears and Eldon climbed a large rock, behind it was a waterfall with giant leaves flowing down with it like boats.

Eldon’s head popped up and with a hand he helped Poet onto the rock with him. They both climbed onto a red maple leaf and sat down. Poet looked around at the water and the bank. There was a giant rabbit standing on its hind legs, its nose trembling and its eyes staring at them. Eldon grinned and waved at the rabbit who to Poet’s shock waved back.

She felt like she was dreaming, it was so unrealistic. It was as if she was a fairytale character in a fantastical world. Looking over at Eldon and at his features, she compared him to the fairies in her books. They were incredible accurate. Eldon had wavy silver hair that covered his pointed ears, high cheek bones, lean muscles, dragonfly wings and crystal blue eyes. He wore clothes sewn out of willow leaves and no shoes. He had a constant smirk and loved teasing, confusing and tricking people. He was so accurate, Poet could have imagined him.

“How much longer until we’re there? I want to make sure I’m home for supper…” Poet spoke, her mind started to wonder as she thought about her grandmother’s cooking.

Eldon chuckled and answered, “You won’t make it home for supper, I’ll tell you that. I should expect us to be there tomorrow evening.”

Poet frowned, “Oh…”

“I mean if we flew, we would be there perhaps…at moonlight. But you don’t have wings…” Eldon mumbled.

“Well…couldn’t you give me fairy dust or something?” Poet’s eyes widened.

Eldon laughed so hard that he had to clutch his gut, “It’ll take a week to get some of that.”

“What do you mean? Don’t all fairies have dust with them?” Poet asked, she had read it so many times in her books.

“Nope,” Eldon leaned back and covered his eyes with his arm, blocking out the sun. “Only golden wings…”

“Golden wings?” Poet questioned curiously.

“Yeah. They’re the queen’s fairies. They’re pretty much the law keepers of the fae,” Eldon explained.

“Oh…okay…” Poet mumbled disappointedly and with a sigh turned to look at the trees above and around her.

Poet’s stomach started to grumble like a grumpy grizzly bear, rampaging. “Eldon?” she spoke quietly.

“Hmm?” Eldon turned his head around to look at her.

“Um…I’m hungry…” She spoke awkwardly.

“Okay,” Eldon looked ahead again. Poet sighed, disappointed and tired of walking. “…Darn humans get hungry so fast…” Eldon mumbled. Poet’s eyes widened and filled with hope, “Come along then,” Eldon beckoned Poet to follow and he took her to a berry bush.

With his wings he flew up and pulled a raspberry off the bush. He let it fall onto a pile of leaves and roll towards Poet. The raspberry was huge! So big in fact that half the berry would be too much for Poet’s small stomach.

Eldon landed on to the ground with a soft thump, “There you go.”

“Thank you,” Poet smiled gratefully and with her small hands she ripped a chunk of the berry’s wall off. The juice stained her hands and chin purple as she bit into it, the soft berry filling her mouth.

When Poet was full, Eldon brought her to a small pond where she tried to wash her hands and face of the purple stain. After that the sun set, filling the sky with golden colors and soon after that, lantern like stars that filled the entire sky.

Eldon lead Poet to a tree and he started to climb but when Poet tried to climb after him, she fell onto her back side. Eldon ended up carrying her and flying up there, by the time they both sat on a high branch, he was out of breath.

It was extremely dark except for the beams of moonlight that fell through the cracks between the leaves. Poet couldn’t fall asleep and when she asked Eldon if he was going to sleep too, he answered, “No, us fairies don’t sleep as often as humans.” Poet didn’t ask anymore questions after that, but she slowly nodded off into sleep.


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Sun May 29, 2016 10:36 am
Mageheart wrote a review...



Hi, Alice! :D Mage here to do the promised review!

Since I think your other reviewers have gotten the grammar and things like that down, I'll talk about some other stuff in this review. (Don't worry. Other stuff is very good stuff.)

Let met start with the beginning. I guessed this was going to be a story about a poet, so I was naturally shocked when I saw the main character's name was Poet. I love how Eldon brings up how unusual the name is. I'm hoping in the second part it will say why she was named that, and why her brother was named Oliver.

I also love Eldon. He's a pretty sweet guy for helping Poet out. Was his last name intentional? If so, do all fae have nature-related names?

Finally, I wonder if I caught some foreshadowing. The comment about the queen's fairies could either be put into the story because they will show up, or because you wanted to do some worldbuilding. I'm happy with whatever the case is.

Keep up the great work - which I doubt you'll have trouble with - and good luck on your writing endeavors! Have a great day/night! :D




Charm says...


Thank you!



Mageheart says...


You're welcome! :D



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Mon May 23, 2016 11:54 am
Elijah wrote a review...



King Here

So I am checking this work as you requested. Thank you a lots for requesting it to say first of all. I did not expect to be asked for a review but everything happens sooner or later, ha?
Poet is an adorable narrator this is what I can tell you about her. It was not that interesting at the beginning because of the slow pace of the story but the fantasy part did it right and changed the pace of the story halfway. It was kind of a sudden appearance but still a stunning one. I like the details that you used to describe the small creature who turns out to be a very good-looking fairy. Did not expect the fairy to be a male, honestly. I have no complains connected with the topic of the story. Just the slow pace at the start was my problem. It did not have something special the read could catch and continue reading for. Worth to read it till the end. Even if I did not expect it to turn out this way. I may point out things that the other reviews before we had said but I hope I can still help you at least a bit with your story. I am really liking it.



The train went through tunnels and through dense forests of evergreens, and Poet always looked forward to seeing her grandmother through the thinly paned window when the train finally strained to a stop.


You kind of repeat 'though' too many times to be honest. I do not know if you noticed, but it was kind of the odd thing here for me. The another thing that I can say is that in the whole work you repeat her name too much. I remember her name like my own, you repeated it so many times. I think you can replace her name not only with 'her' but with other nouns to describe her.



Usually her older brother, Oliver came with her but he wanted to spend his summer with their father in France.


Comma are very important here. Like the sentence we have here in which we talk about a sibling or someone who can be part of a group or only one of the kind. You need to surround his name with comma which automaticly shows us that she has only one brother who is older than her. The comma sets off the name, pointing out who we are talking to(in speech)/about(in description).

Commas around the name ➡ the person/object is one of the kind ( only one brother, sibling, friend, etc. )
No commas around the name ➡ the person/object is one of many people/objects and is only a part of a group.



“I’m glad to hear it,” her grandmother said and squeezed her hand, “Well how about some ice cream?”


You need to put fullstop after 'her hand' because it is an action put between the beginning and the end of the dialogue.


The hot spring sun melted her ice cream, sending it in streams down her hand.


In this sentence the gender is a big confusing detail because they are both female and even if I can guess who it might be with the ice cream, it needs to be shown. In this sentence you need to be certain.

Once her grandmother turned the lock her wish was granted.


One comma after 'the lock'.
the reason why is simple.

Examples of sentences containing the word 'once'
He wished to be with her once he saw her.
Once he saw her, he wished to be with her.



The inside of the cottage was cozier than the already cozy outside, with a fire place, old books and knitted blankets thrown around.


After 'cozier than' you need a noun and there is none of that kind in this sentence. The noun you will put is your own choice.


Poet dashed past her grandmother laughing and giggling with excitement and ran up to her bedroom which was upstairs.


One comma before 'laughing and giggling' which I find optional.

The tree was a weeping willow that took over most of the large yard and there was a stream that ran through the back of the backyard separating the dense wood from the house’s property.


The back of the backyard. The backyard is already the back of the yard/ So for me you are repeating back twice. One comma before 'seperating'( optional ).

The smell of Poet’s grandmother’s cooking swam across the wind filling Poet’s nose with the smell of roast beef, gravy, and pies.


Comma before 'filling'.

Comma during ordering of nouns and other
He took the lamp, the stick and the fan.
He took the lamp and the stick, and the fan.
They ate a lots of bread, cheese and pasta.


You do not need comma before 'and pies' if you use 'and' for the first time. Only if it is the second 'and' in the ordering.

Suddenly the noise of the forest seized and Poet looked around confused. The whispers of the willows were the only sound in whole wood. Slowly, Poet stepped out of the pond and as her bare foot touched the damp dirt, she heard a quiet little giggle. Shocked and scared Poet dropped her stick and looked around frantically. The water from the splash of the stick bounced back and covered Poet’s petite little body with water.


You had put comma after 'slowly' in the third sentence so you need to put commas after 'suddenly' and after 'shocked and scared' which seems logical.

Once the silver haired figure caught Poet’s eye his lips formed a straight line and his giggles stopped.


Comma before 'his lips'.

The figure, which Poet was now certain was a fairy, flew down from the tree branch above and down to Poet.


'was now certain was a fairy'
We are having 'was' twice.
You do not need it twice only once there.
I do not find the reason why you used 'now' then because he is a fairy now and always, I suppose?
'certain' is just not for there. It is not the right form of a word.
'certainly was a fairy' ?

Before they exchanged words he started to twirl around her, faster and faster until he stopped and Poet was magically clean.


Comma before 'he started'. And yes, this is my favourite part of the story.

he giggled knowing that she hadn’t.


Comma before 'knowing'.

“Poet,” She squeaked out.


You do not need the comma if you do not let the narrator speck again. The comma is used there when there is an action seperating the dialogue to parts. You have no seperation as I saw. This is found in several other places also.

After walking around trying to find anything that reminded her of the way she came,
Poet replied and as soon as she spoke those words her lip started to quiver again.


For this correction I think I need to show an example so you kind of understand me why I am doing this.

Comma for 'as soon as'

As soon as he opened his mouth, a shout was hear from the woods.
A pen fell on the floor as soon as the teacher gave the test to the student.



So comma after 'as soon as she spoke those words'.

Poet annoyed at the fact that Eldon didn’t understand, spoke,


You need comma after her name. At first gaze I thought you had forgotten to put 'was' before 'annoyed' because it did not make sense but then I understand what you mean. It is still wrong-looking without the comma. I am sure that you did not make a mistake and you only need that comma.


Looking over at Eldon and at his features she compared him to the fairies in her books.


Comma before 'she compared'.

“Yeah. They’re the queen’s fairies. They’re pretty much the law keepers of the fae,” Eldon explained.


I do not want to annoy you by explaining the same thing again.
So only dropping that you need fullstop after 'the fae'.


After that the sun set filling the sky with golden colors and soon after that lantern like stars that filled the entire sky.


Comma before 'filling'.

Eldon lead Poet to a tree and he started to climb but when Poet tried to climb after him she fell onto her back side.


Comma before 'she fell'.

Poet couldn’t fall asleep and when she asked Eldon if he was going to sleep too he answered,
I made marble cake, if you want some come and get it!
I mean if we flew we would be there perhaps…at moonlight.


In these sentences which I just gathered together we are having the same thing so I wanted to say it at once for them all.
Usually in a sentence with 'if' we do not have comma but in this situation we have one when 'if' is not at the second ending part of the sentence, but the start. It is the same as why we have comma after 'as soon as' part. They are all by the same rule.



Poet couldn't fall asleep and when she asked Eldon if he was going to sleep too, he answered,
I made marble cake, if you want some, come and get it!
I mean if we flew, we would be there perhaps... at monlight.



Good job and keep on writing!




Charm says...


Thank you :)



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Mon May 23, 2016 4:15 am
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Lightsong wrote a review...



Hey, I'm here for a quick review. :D

By the end of May, when the flowers were in full bloom and the fruit on the apricots trees were perfectly ripe, Poet hopped onto a train. It was a long ride to the countryside where her grandmother lived but Poet rather enjoyed it. The scenery of fields of marigolds and lavender was beautiful. The train went through tunnels and through dense forests of evergreens, and Poet always looked forward to seeing her grandmother through the thinly paned window when the train finally strained to a stop.


In this paragraph, there are three 'Poets' here when two can be changed to 'her/she'. Pronouns are important.

The train station was a small, old fashioned building and was beautiful like the rest of the town. Its architecture was elegant and refined like most things from its original era.


Appreciate the effort to describe setting here, but what you've inserted are abstract words. 'old-fashioned', 'beautiful', 'elegant', and 'refined' don't have a precise imagery to them, so you need to expand. Old-fashioned how? Beautiful how? That kind of thing.

“I’m glad to hear it,” her grandmother said and squeezed her hand, “Well how about some ice cream?”


The dialogue tag here is a bit off. You put in action between the dialogue, but the dialogue itself consisted of two independent clauses when it should be one that is split into two. Suggestion:

“I’m glad to hear it,” her grandmother said and squeezed her hand. “Well how about some ice cream?”


Poet and her grandmother walked hand in hand along the gravel path of the country side. The hot spring sun melted her ice cream, sending it in streams down her hand. The houses along the gravel road were quaint and cozy, with white picketed fences, red brick, and colorful shutters.

Her grandmother’s house was a small cottage like home at the end of the gravel road. It was surrounded by fields of wild flowers and resembled little red riding hood’s grandmother’s cottage. The thought made Poet giggle.


Avoid repetition. 'Gravel path' and 'gravel road' indicate the same thing. The first one can be excused since it describes the road, but the second one is necessary. Using 'road' would be just fine since readers already know the property of it.

Overall, I think your diction has improved considerably. I like how you use them to better describe certain things, although some of the words you use are rather abstract, and not fit for description. The one thing that needs fixing is the pace of the story. It's rather slow right now, what with the journey from the train to her grandmother's house taking quite a chunk of it when it can be compressed into something smaller but equally concise. The fantasy/supernatural part of this is interesting, though.

Keep up the good job! :D




Charm says...


Thank you so much for your review! :D



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Sun May 22, 2016 9:22 pm
chhlovebooks wrote a review...



Greetings Alice, long time no see! I really like this, and congrats on branching out into the wonderful world of short stories! ^v^ However this is a review, so this can't be all compliments, right? Let's get started!

The scenery of fields of marigolds and lavender were beautiful.

Here, it should be "was" instead of "were".

The train went through tunnels and through dense forests of evergreens, and Poet always looked forward to seeing her grandmother through the thinly paned window when the train finally strained to a stop.

Okay, here you should probably use a different word instead of "through" because you used it so often here that is has become repetitive. Also, not technically an error, but maybe use "slowed" instead of "strained"? "Strained" is kind of a trait for living things, and although I see where you are going using this, you don't use any other words to give animal-like traits to the train, so it kind of seems a little disjointed. Please stick to comparing the train to an animal, or stick to not comparing it.

Poet skipped over to her grandmother and hugged her. The old woman chuckled and held Poet’s hand, “How was your train ride, dear?” she asked. It was Poet’s first train ride alone. Usually her older brother, Oliver came with her but he wanted to spend his summer with their father in France.

Please start a new paragraph when Poet's grandmother starts speaking for the sake of consistency, as you do it in the next two paragraphs.

The hot spring sun melted her ice cream, sending it in streams down her hand
Is this Poet's ice cream, or did her grandmother get one too, and this is the grandma's ice cream? Please specify.

The houses along the gravel road...
You already said the path was made of gravel literally two sentences ago, so perhaps a different adjective here like "rocky" or just cut the adjective all together?

Joyfully, Poet hopped into the frontyard...
"Frontyard" is two words; just plain old "frontyard" is apparently a type of linden tree.

Once her grandmother turned the lock her wish was granted.
Comma after "lock" please.

Poet swung their on her swing until the sun set in the west...
I think you mean "there" not "their", but I think it would be better if you just cut out the word all together.

...the orange colors melted against each other and bleed like ink through the leaves of the weeping willow tree.
Please use "bled" here, instead of "bleed".

Shocked and scared Poet dropped her stick...
Comma after "scared".




Charm says...


Thank you



chhlovebooks says...


You are most welcome ^v^



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Sun May 22, 2016 7:09 pm
DorianBlaine wrote a review...



I really love how you described the setting itself. You provided extensive detail that did not take away from the story itself, but helped give the story life and made it possible for the reader to be attracted to the world presented. Though there are moments where the description itself loses structure (ex: after that the sun set filling the sky with golden colors and soon after that latern-like stars that filled the entire sky) so I'd watch out for run-ons. Other than a few areas where actions might be colliding, this is looking like a promising story.




Charm says...


Thank you ^^




Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
— Plato