Young Writers Society

I was dropped off by a city bus, the kind that drives you across the country. It was my first time going alone. I felt like I rather needed the time to think. The white and blue bus pulled away from the curb pushing and crushing over fallen leaves as it went, leaving me in the deserted street. It was late and the street lamps were giving off a honey glow that reflected off of everything. I took a deep breath, watched the air turn into a cloud, and slowly fade away. I shuffled through my pockets to find my phone and opened it to see my last text on the bright screen.

Sutton

I don’t think she would want us to avoid White Waters for the rest of our lives. It’s a part of us. All of us.

Yeah, I know.

It’s hard for me too. You’re not the only one who’s hurting, Hannah.

With a sigh, I closed my phone, forgetting why I opened it in the first place and began walking down the street. The only sound to be heard was the slight buzzing from the telephone wire above and my boots crunching dead leaves that littered the ground. It wasn’t very long until the street lost as many trees and instead gained more buildings with honey colored windows.

There was a definite point where the trees entirely stopped and denser buildings began, and there to my right I saw a sign. It read,

Welcome to White Waters

I stood there for a bit, looking aimlessly at the sign before forgetting where I was entirely.

We were driving in Elle’s jeep with the windows down. I remember looking at her and studying her face as she sang passionating along to Queen. She was wearing her usual black ray bans that were big enough to cover her eyes but not big enough to cover the beauty mark on her cheek. Her dark brown hair was blowing in the wind and getting stuck in her lip gloss.

I remember her turning to look at me and laughing, “Why aren’t you singing with me!” she yelled over the music.

I giggled, covering my mouth and yelled back, “I don’t know the words!” She laughed quietly and shook her head with a small grin on her lips. I looked out my window and saw the sign, Welcome to White Waters.

It was a strange feeling. I felt like I was there only yesterday but at the same time, I felt like it was years ago. Things were so different back then…

I continued on my way. Walking through the town and turning a couple times at intersections until I came upon a familiar building, White Water Lodge. I didn’t hesitate this time and walked up to the entrance. Moths buzzed around the lamp that hung down from the porch. I pushed open the door, a bell rang and I walked into the warm atmosphere. Rubbing my frigid hands together, I walked up to the front desk to talk to the woman behind the counter.

She had black hair pulled back in a sleek ponytail. She looked at me with her heavily eyelinered eyes and spoke dryly, “Hello. How may I help you?”

I nervously smiled and answered, “I made reservations for a two bedded room under the name Holmes. Hannah Holmes.”

The woman didn’t say a word. I watched her eyes shift from me to the computer where she sluggishly clicked around until asking me to pay. I paid with my debit card, a gift from my parent on my sixteenth birthday. The lady at the front desk handed me two cards and spoke, “I hope you have a nice visit at White Waters.”

“Thank you,” I replied and as I pulled away from the desk, a gush of cold wind came over me and the bell above the door rang.

The woman spoke, “Welcome to White Water Lodge. How may I help you?” to the newcomer.

I turned around to see Sutton, pulling her beanie off of the blonde curls that crowned her head. She looked over at me and smiled shyly, “Hi. Did you check in already?”

I nodded and spoke to the lady behind the desk, “She’s with me.”

The woman waved her hand, let us pass into the common area and up through the building to our room.

“This brings back some memories, doesn’t it?” Sutton giggled as we climbed the stairs.

“Yeah,” I answered, letting the word come out with a breath of air, “It’s so strange to be back.”

“I think it’ll be good for us,” Sutton smiled optimistically.

“I know you do…” I answered, “I just—do you think it’s too soon?”

We stopped walking and turned to look at each other. Sutton looked sad and tired, and I don’t blame her. Everything that’s happened. It’s taken a huge toll on me. I can’t even imagine how Sutton feels.

“We haven’t visited her since the funeral and I—I think it’s what she would have wanted.”

I nodded and kept walking up the stairs. Using my card, I opened the door to our hotel room and dropped my bag onto the bed nearest to the window before collapsing on it myself.

Sutton walked into the bathroom and locked the door leaving me alone in the bland hotel room. I closed my eyes.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Elle yelled, extending her arms towards the sky. Sutton bounced off the bus in the distance and saw us immediately. Even though she was far away, I could see a giant grin grow on her face. I stood there leaning against a street lamp, watching Elle jog over to Sutton and throw herself into her arms. We were all laughing.

The bathroom door slammed open and Sutton came out. “Hey, do you want to go tonight?” She didn’t make eye contact instead looked down at her feet.

“Uh…” I started, “Sure. I mean—yeah I guess.”

“Cool,” Sutton nodded, grabbed her purse, and began to walk out of the room. I quickly jumped up, grabbed my phone, and followed.

We didn’t speak the whole way. I silently followed Sutton as she dashed through the streets and got closer to the lake. By the time we got there, I was well out of breath and it was the next day, though the sun still hadn’t risen.

We stood at the entrance of White Water Memorial Gardens for a while before one of us made the first move. Sutton took a step into the gravel and I followed keeping my head low. Memories flashed through my mind.

“Elle, are you sure you don’t want anyone you come with you?” I yelled from the bathroom where I stood poking myself with bobby pins.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine! Y’all are worse than my parents!” she yelled before the hotel room door closed with a loud thunk.

“I happen to like her parents…” Sutton mumbled from the sofa and I laughed in response.

Together we walked, step by step closer to the end of the gardens. Each step was like a knife to my gut. I found myself holding my breath as if I could forget the fact that I was breathing when Elle was not.

There was a knock at the door and when I opened it, it was a police officer. He was an elderly man with a kind face and soft voice. He asked us to come to the station with him, which we did. We were both confused and a little worried.

“Miss Holmes, Miss Roberts...I’m sad to say that your friend Elle Woods was killed today in a hiking accident. She was found off the trail and we can only assume that she fell...I’m—I’m so sorry for your loss.”

We stopped walking as we made it to our destination. A cold grey slab of stone stood in front of us and on it, it read:

In Loving Memory of

Elle Woods

1998-2015

I stood there slightly behind Sutton. I think she was crying, but I wasn’t sure. I didn’t think I could speak to ask or to comfort her. Instead, I just looked at the ground and thought about how Elle’s body was underneath it. She felt so close and yet so far away. Even if I dug up the ground and made it to her, she wouldn’t really be there.

I closed my eyes and took my first deep breath since I walked into the gardens. In my mind Elle was there, talking and breathing. And that was comforting to me.

“One day, Hannah, we’re going to go somewhere together. I’m not sure where yet. Maybe it’ll be Greece, maybe France, maybe even….I don’t know...Japan! But we’ll go there and it’ll be great. We’ll eat great food, probably meet some hot guys and just have the time of our lives. I know, we’ll always be together, all of us. What we have, is inseparable.”

I smiled sorrowfully, moved up next to Sutton, and put my arm around her. Nuzzling my head onto her shoulder as we stared at Elle’s grave slowly brightening up in the daylight.