E - Everyone

The Passion Forest; Chapter 1 - Beneath Seas and Above Clouds

Elora never knew the stories were true. And even if it was, she never saw it coming. Not all of it, at least.

It was Elora’s birthday, celebrated on the beach. Fairy lights hung on a tent, each bolt aligned with colors of the rainbow. The tent was medium sized, perfect for three people to camp, its color a dark shade of green, reminding Elora of the forest she once journeyed with her parents. The sky was getting dark, the sunset illuminating the ocean, traveling back and forth to brush the sand.

Sitting with her legs through the tiny wooden table, Elora carefully typed words into her computer, still smiling from the book-shaped cake she just had. Excitement bursted out of her, but she waited until she typed the last word. Then, her story was finished—a new, unique, fantastic story ready to be read and enjoyed. She would have to wait until tomorrow to share the news, since now was time for bed—bedtime had always been a delight for Elora, since her dad would always tell her stories. Today was no exception.

“What’s the story today, dad?” Elora shut her computer and placed the table beside her, then turned at her dad and beamed. He would have to tell a good story today, or else she might be up all night thinking about her new story.

Elora’s dad, Clif, cleared his throat, a habit before starting a new story. “Today’s a special day, your make-up birthday, of course, but also…”

Clif paused. He looked at Elora, half-expecting her to guess what was coming. “The day I first spoke?” she guessed after a few seconds.

“Nope,” Clif chuckled. “Remember that story I told you? The Passion Forest, where students every four years get picked to bring value to the world with their passion.” Elora shook her head, it was long ago when her dad told her this tale, but she remembered bits of it.

She shrugged. “Is today the day for student picking?” She always thought that she was the best at guessing stories, as well as making them.

“Clever, and yes, today is the day. And because of this special day, it’s a perfect time to tell that tale again.” Clif remarked as Elora nestled into her sleeping bed. “Once upon a time, a forest was born far away. No one knows how, but we do know that there was only one seed. As time passed, that seed became a seedling, a sapling, a young tree, and at last, a mature tree. As time flew by, the tree grew tall and sturdy. Year after year, the tree spent its days watching birds fly, the clouds move, but the tree wanted company, real company. When he woke the next day, like magic, the tree saw seedlings scattered across the one empty land before him, growing each day with health and nourishment.” Elora didn’t think this part of the story was true, or if it was true at all.

“Years went by, and at last the forest was complete. People discovered this magical, magnificent forest, and started to visit it. One day, a young girl, probably around the same age as you, discovered the tree. Unlike others, the girl saw the magic in the tree. She talked and talked with the tree—about how she wanted to become a gardener someday, about how everyone laughs at her for talking to plants, for wanting to become a gardener. But the tree knows answers nobody else does, for he had seen many things throughout many centuries. The tree finds a way to tell the girl that she is special and to not give up her dream, to follow her heart and work hard for her passion.” Elora chuckled, for the tree reminded her of her dad, who was always trying to squeeze in a life lesson from time to time.

“As time flew by, she continued to visit her tree. Until one day, the forest is gone as quickly as it came, but she has already become a gardener, and has brought value to the world by designing people’s gardens to the best of her ability. As years passed, she decided to try a different kind of gardening. Planting seeds and shaping plants like the tree once did, for her fellow students to follow their heart, their dreams, and their passion like she did, because she knew there must be girls and boys like her. But where, and how? Like a miracle, the next day she awoke to a forest, bushy and green. No doubt, it was the forest that once guided her, the forest she once visited often. With new hope, the gardener finds her tree and asks its permission to pick out students every four years, to bring them here, where they will learn of their passions; how to make value, how to focus on their passion, and work with others to create a better future for the world.”

Elora recalled with a wide grin, picking in as the story unfolds. “Of course the tree agrees. And the new headmistress starts looking for students all over the world, ones she calls seedlings between the age of twelve to sixteen with different but unique passion. She, as headmistress, and other teachers she hired will shape them into people that will bring value to our world.”

“That’s right,” Clif nodded proudly. “Kids still get picked out every four years, and when they return, they’re skilled and wise. Ready to bring value to the world—our world.”

Elora’s eyes widened, then she yawned, closing her eyes, satisfied, before she uttered Goodnight.

***

Elora dreamt of falling through the ocean, a strange white light pulling her down. She was grabbing tightly onto her computer and books, only to have them turn into bright sparks of light and join the light wrapped around her. Just a second ago, she was standing before the ocean—a strong gust of wind blew in Elora’s direction, then formed into a throng of light. Then it hovered Elora’s body above the sea, hurtling Elora into the ocean. At first she gasped for breath, only to choke on salty seawater. The light hugged her tight, and when she woke up, she wasn’t in the tent with her parents anymore.

Her eyes flew open, at once aware of where she was, her heart started to race. For a minute, all she heard was her brisk heartbeat and the sound of the ocean waving all around her. The sea was filled with different kinds of fishes, stripes, dotted, balloon shapes, and ones small as Elora’s fingernail. Rocks sat with vibrant plants home to red algae and seagrass. She was frozen, her breath fastening, watching the light take her down the water; deeper, deeper, until she was one hectometer underneath the sea, and all she could see was the light itself swathed encircling her. With shaking hands, Elora pinched her arm. It hurt. I’m not dreaming, thought Elora, what about my parents? Where are they? How am I here? Why am I here? A wave of panic swept over her, her thoughts mesmerizing her brain until she saw a tiny pinch of light the size of a grain, slowly moving towards her, sinking further down with her. She looked down futilely, for there was no light to illuminate the blackness. When she lifted her head, Elora gawked at the hundreds of light following hers. Lower and lower they went, yet strangely, Elora felt relaxed. Her eyelids felt heavy, the hundreds of lights became blurry, until all she could see was a blurry line of light gleaming. Then she lost consciousness completely.

***

Elora was awoken by the sound of screaming. Slowly, she opened her eyes and rubbed it with the back of her hand. For a moment she thought she was with her parents again, safe and asleep in their tent… Before her brain caught up, and in an instant she remembered everything. Her dream, how she was in the ocean with hundreds of white lights moving down. She looked down to see sand, and lights turned from white to different colors. There were swarms of yellow light, blue, dark blue, baby blue, green, dark green, pink ones like hers, and more than she could ever count. As she looked around, she realized that they weren't only lights, but humans like her, most looking the same age as her. Abruptly, her light fastened its pace, and before she knew it, Elora was plummeting into the sand at full speed. She could hear others shouting behind and before her. She had no time to yell as her baby pink light threw her straight down onto sand, she closed her eyes tight, holding her breath. Slowly, she felt the coldness of sand against her skin. She couldn’t move. The sand turned warmer, softer, fluffier and more like… Clouds. Elora’s heart skipped a beat as she opened her eyes once again. This time, she was above the clouds, soaring upwards. Once again, she felt so comfortable, so tranquil, but this time she forced her eyes open, curious to see where her light takes her. As she and the others floated upwards, she spotted a dim light. Up and up they went, and she realized she had been carrying a computer and book. She doesn't remember going out of the tent, nor taking anything with her. But here she was now, far away from her parents, from her home. Finally it dawned her—where is the light taking them? Will she ever see her parents again? She felt her heart thundering once again—she was beneath the sea, and now she’s above the clouds. How is any of this possible? She attempted to soothe her nerves, but failed doing so. She tried to sleep again, but only found more questions produced in her head, hence focused her attention on the other swarms of light. She peeked at the individuals, and saw a girl looking her age, with strawberry blonde hair past her shoulders, her eyes closed, in deep sleep. As she leered, she noticed every one of them was asleep… Except her. What on earth is happening? Why are they being taken away? She recalled her make-up birthday, then gasped in realization—the tale her dad told her before sleep, before she was taken away.

No way. This can’t be real!

But it is, isn’t it. This isn’t a dream, it’s reality. The tale of the Passion Forest. And only after four years can she see her family again. Then can all of the students, seedlings, here see their family again. Or maybe it’s not that at all. Maybe they are being taken to somewhere else. But what other explanation can there be?

Elora and her peers were already near the light. Not a light at all, Elora noticed. A cloud. Lots of clouds. Glowing clouds. Impossible, Elora’s brows furrowed, but given the situation, even a dancing slug seems possible right now. Floating towards the clouds, inches apart, Elora opened her eyes wide. In the blink of an eye, her body was already in the clouds, mist and steam watered her wide-opened eyes. Finally, Elora let her eyelids fall, but opened her eyes as soon as she felt she was passed the clouds. Yet she was no longer floating. She was motionless, static… On the ground; with trees surrounding her, birds chirping happily, and the air buzzing with energy, sparking curiosity and creativity. It seems like they’ve arrived at the Passion Forest.

Comments & reviews · 2
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Hiya! This is Orabella, here with a review.

I like how this chapter gives a little background as to how the Passion Forest came to be, and also how it was to Elora when she arrived. That sure is a heck of a way to travel! I wonder why Elora was the only one awake? Is she special somehow? Or maybe the fact that she knows what is happening keeps her awake from excitement. The journey seems to calm fears, but it has no need to calm excitement and wonder.

What do the parents know? Do they just wake up with their kid gone? Or are they informed somehow? Are they informed beforehand that their child will be leaving them for a year, come back a week, and repeat for four years? Or maybe Clif went to Passion Forest when he was young! That's how he knows about it, and he knows that Elora has such a huge passion that she's bound to get there eventually. I don't know, this is just me speculating.

For some reason, whenever I read "passion", I usually don't think about the other word I can't seem to describe, but the fruit instead. Maybe the school will serve passion fruit for breakfast sometimes. That would be silly... :D (in a good way)

This story is just so intriguing to me! I have a somewhat similar idea, actually, in a way, but it's completely realistic fiction with no magic. Now I want to steal this idea because I find it so fascinating. (I won't, of course) I can't wait to see what you do with it, because so far, you've woven the beginning of an incredible story. You must be really passionate about it. (I wonder if you based Elora after yourself...?)

Even if you end up giving this story up (for some reason), I'd love to read anything else you write. Please, no matter what it is, keep writing!

Hey! Thank you so much for leaving yet another helpful review!
Part of it is because of excitement, but when the students reach certain parts of their journey, magic makes them tired. Many students can't fight the urge, and they give in. And once they closes their eyes, they will fall asleep. Elora, however, was especially curious. Thus, she forced her eyes open and was able to see what followed in the journey.
About all the information about the parents will be in a few chapters later (the story's pre written), but I almost everyone has heard of the tale of the Passion Forest, so her dad must know where she's gone; it's just the question whether or not he believes it. Later on, they will be informed. I don't want to spoil anything, so if you feel intrigued, feel free to read on to find out! And wait, how did you know? That's all I'm going to say, haha, since I was planning on a lot of stories set in the Passion Forest. I'm so very glad you find this speculating! :)
Oh my gosh, that actually sounds like an amazingly awesome idea, haha! If that's okay with you, can I add that to my story?
Ooh, really! I would definitely read it. And haha, that means a lot to me. And again, I have to say, how did you know? Wow, because I totally did! XD If you really like this, we could even collaborate, writing the story together, maybe combining some of your ideas, to make this special to us both.
And of course, you have no idea how much motivation you gave me. I would definitely read this again when I'm unmotivated! :D

Aww! You're welcome! And thank you! I'm glad I was able to give you motivation. :D I don't know which idea you're referring to, but you can totally add it to your story! Any suggestion or speculation from me you find helpful is absolutely allowed to be added to your story. I'm just glad I can help!
I'd love to do a collab with you! That sounds so fun! I have no idea how we'd do it... (unless we know each other in real life but don't know it) I bet we could probably find some way to make it work.
I have no idea how I knew things. I don't even know what I know! (But I probably snuck into your house just to read the entirety of what you have thusfar and then went back to my house and wrote a review including some things included later in your story only because I wanted to sound somewhat smart to someone I've never even met. Yep. That's what happened. ;) )
I'm so glad I found your story. It's seriously so amazing, and the person behind it seems to be even more so. If you ever need help with this or another story, feel free to PM me anytime. If you need help figuring out a character, what happens next in the story, or even just someone to discuss something with, I'm here. :)

Haha! You're welcome, and thank you as well! :D Sorry, haha, I was talking about the Passion Fruit, which, by the way, I already added to the story. Thank you so much again for the idea, and lending me the idea. I owe you for that one ;)
Here's the part:'%u201CThis place just gets better by the minute!%u201D Elora licked her lips and pointed. %u201CCome, there%u2019s three flowers over there!%u201D Starla first noticed the passion fruit, and chuckled at the wacky idea.'
Woohoo, thanks! I'm glad you liked the idea of collabing. Hmm, I think we could maybe each write a chapter, or we can write the first/second part of the story (that's a silly scenario ;)) if that sounds good to you.
Woah! (Wait- Wait? Are you a stalker... I'm so glad I met someone like me, because I did too! I found out that you love bunnies *P.S, they're my favorite animal too*, and that you are one of the top reviewers! This is totally true as well. ;))
Aww, thank you! I'm so glad you commented on my story as well, because otherwise I'd never met the wonderful person I'm talking (or typing) to now. Thank you again! You are so supportive and words cannot express how thankful I am. :)

I'm so glad you liked the idea enough to add it! It seriously makes me so happy that I was able to help. And you're positive reaction to my reviews made my day. :)
We can probably discuss how we want to collaborate over PM (private message, just in case you didn't know), and a chapter by chapter sounds great. (You should know that I'm notorious for never finishing a story, though... so I may not be the best person to collaborate with. But even if we never finish a story, I'm sure it would be really fun to write it together. :) )
A fellow bunny lover! Just last night I had a dream about them... They were so cute. <3 I feel like you and I were bound to meet. We're both passionate about writing, we love bunnies, and we support each other immensely with our kind words. Maybe one day we'll meet each other in real life. Until then, we can write stories and cheer each other on!

Of course, no problem! You're so generous with your ideas as well. Your comments no question made my day as well. :)
Ohh, yes, I didn't know PM in YWS existed, haha. Sorry for the very late replym by the way. (And 100%! I'm in mostly for the experience. It would be so much fun working with you :))
Wow, really! I love bunnies as well, but most times I would say unicorns are my favorite ;) I do too, we were bound to meet! Haha, I couldn't be more glad to have met such a wonderful human being. Maybe one day, I hope. And yes, that's exactly what we'll do! :D

User avatar
NadyaStatham
Review

Salutations, curious mind!



Rinisha here, ready to dive into the pages of this intriguing story. Let's dive into the world between these covers and see what secrets and wonders await us. 📚!

I'm here to leave you a review on this incredible piece. Buckle up, 'cause we're diving into my review magic! ✨

The Good Stuff:

First of all, let's talk about the parts that really rocked!

I think the fact that you made the dad tell the story of the Passion Forest adds a great layer to the story. Secondly, your vivid descriptions make it feel as if the reader is in the Passion Forest and the story itself, as if the reader is reliving the story. Great job on that!

It was a good idea to have them land in the Passion Forest, because that way the reader can follow the story better from the prologue onwards. I am glad you told about her parents in the story, because now the prologue makes even more sense, and the fact that she kept wondering what would happen to her parents and if she would see them again.

Areas to Improve:✒️

I would suggest to use as title: The Passion Forest; Chapter 1

And before you start with the story >>
Elora never knew the stories were true. And even if it was, she never saw it coming. Not all of it, at least.


You place this:
Beneath Seas and Above Clouds


~~~

I think it would be easier to read if you broke it up into a couple of smaller paragraphs:

Elora was awoken by the sound of screaming. Slowly, she opened her eyes and rubbed it with the back of her hand. For a moment she thought she was with her parents again, safe and asleep in their tent… Before her brain caught up, and in an instant she remembered everything. Her dream, how she was in the ocean with hundreds of white lights moving down. She looked down to see sand, and lights turned from white to different colors. There were swarms of yellow light, blue, dark blue, baby blue, green, dark green, pink ones like hers, and more than she could ever count. As she looked around, she realized that they weren't only lights, but humans like her, most looking the same age as her.

Abruptly, her light fastened its pace, and before she knew it, Elora was plummeting into the sand at full speed. She could hear others shouting behind and before her. She had no time to yell as her baby pink light threw her straight down onto sand, she closed her eyes tight, holding her breath. Slowly, she felt the coldness of sand against her skin. She couldn’t move. The sand turned warmer, softer, fluffier and more like… Clouds. Elora’s heart skipped a beat as she opened her eyes once again. This time, she was above the clouds, soaring upwards.

Once again, she felt so comfortable, so tranquil, but this time she forced her eyes open, curious to see where her light takes her. As she and the others floated upwards, she spotted a dim light. Up and up they went, and she realized she had been carrying a computer and book. She doesn't remember going out of the tent, nor taking anything with her. But here she was now, far away from her parents, from her home. Finally it dawned her—where is the light taking them? Will she ever see her parents again? She felt her heart thundering once again—she was beneath the sea, and now she’s above the clouds.

How is any of this possible? She attempted to soothe her nerves, but failed doing so. She tried to sleep again, but only found more questions produced in her head, hence focused her attention on the other swarms of light. She peeked at the individuals, and saw a girl looking her age, with strawberry blonde hair past her shoulders, her eyes closed, in deep sleep. As she leered, she noticed every one of them was asleep… Except her.

What on earth is happening? Why are they being taken away? She recalled her make-up birthday, then gasped in realization—the tale her dad told her before sleep, before she was taken away.


~~~~

You mentioned here that it reminded Elora of the forest she once journeyed with her parents.

It was Elora’s birthday, celebrated on the beach. Fairy lights hung on a tent, each bolt aligned with colors of the rainbow. The tent was medium sized, perfect for three people to camp, its color a dark shade of green, reminding Elora of the forest she once journeyed with her parents. The sky was getting dark, the sunset illuminating the ocean, traveling back and forth to brush the sand.


But as the story went on I realised that you only mentioned her father, I saw nothing about her mother. I don't know if that was intentional, but I thought I would point it out.

~~~

I would suggest that if you want to show her thoughts throughout the story, you might want to put them in italics, that way the story is easier to follow.

For example:
Her eyes flew open, at once aware of where she was, her heart started to race. For a minute, all she heard was her brisk heartbeat and the sound of the ocean waving all around her. The sea was filled with different kinds of fishes, stripes, dotted, balloon shapes, and ones small as Elora’s fingernail. Rocks sat with vibrant plants home to red algae and seagrass. She was frozen, her breath fastening, watching the light take her down the water; deeper, deeper, until she was one hectometer underneath the sea, and all she could see was the light itself swathed encircling her. With shaking hands, Elora pinched her arm. It hurt.

I’m not dreaming, thought Elora, what about my parents? Where are they? How am I here? Why am I here?

A wave of panic swept over her, her thoughts mesmerizing her brain until she saw a tiny pinch of light the size of a grain, slowly moving towards her, sinking further down with her. She looked down futilely, for there was no light to illuminate the blackness. When she lifted her head, Elora gawked at the hundreds of light following hers. Lower and lower they went, yet strangely, Elora felt relaxed. Her eyelids felt heavy, the hundreds of lights became blurry, until all she could see was a blurry line of light gleaming. Then she lost consciousness completely.


Spoiler


The code to make it italic is >> [i*] Place your text over here [/i*]

Don't forget to remove the asterisk!



Nailed It!💐

That line really did it for me!

No way. This can’t be real!


It was exactly the kind of line I was waiting to hear, like the "No way" really grabbed me. It fits well into the story and is kind of humorous. You nailed it for me!

Overall Feelings:

You had a very strong prologue and your first chapter is also on the next level, I am very excited to see what you come up with next. This is definitely a story that I would suggest is worth continuing, if you want to of course. You have strong content and a sweet writing style, you are doing a great job!

Be sure to check out…📔🔖

Purple Stones - Prologue by @LuminescentAnt

Almost everyone in Tqladia and the other kingdoms in the Continent knew about the Witch of Tqladia City. It was like a fairy tale for them, something that people would tell at a tavern or one that an older sibling might tell a younger one to scare them. Or perhaps something that royals might tell other royals before laughing and saying, “Of course, the danger won’t come to us,” Some people even believed that what people were saying wasn’t true at all, and it was all just performed to make people scared. But unfortunately, they were very much wrong, and the “myth” was in fact very true.

Everyone also knew that magic existed, and people who practiced magic were called sorcerers. Sorcery was considered “good” or “neutral” and used magic to help or change something in a neutral or good way. However, some sorcerers had developed their magic in a negative way, and started practicing dark magic and witchcraft. These sorcerers were then known as witches or warlocks.

This is an amazing read and it's also about magic, the protagonist is also a young girl called Ktyra. I am sure you will love it!

Have a nice day or night further! Keep writing! You are amazing!

Amazingly yours,
Rinisha
– Be yourself and keep writing! 📖🎉

Hi Rinisha! I cannot thank you enough for this detailed and beyond helpful comment. Thank you so much for your time you put into this, and you truly made my day. I'm so glad you felt the description was vivid, and that you enjoyed this story as a whole.
Your 'Areas to Improve' section was extremely helpful. I actually wrote the original story on Google Docs, so I just copied and pasted. You pointed out, that the italics and paragraphs were not shown, and I will definitely fix that. At the start I also thought that Elora's mom wasn't as important to the story as her dad, but I totally see why it might give confusion-I will add that as well. All of your advice are valuable and beneficial, and I will try to fix the story the best as I can! :)
Thank you again for your time, and such detailed advice. Have a wonderful day. You are extraordinary as well!

Thank u so much for the kind words! I'm grateful I could help!

No problem at all! You should be proud for being such an amazing helper :)



oh to be a cat in a pile of towels
— ChesTacos