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E - Everyone

Purple Stones - Prologue

by FluorescentAnt


Almost everyone in Tqladia and the other kingdoms in the Continent knew about the Witch of Tqladia City. It was like a fairy tale for them, something that people would tell at a tavern or one that an older sibling might tell a younger one to scare them. Or perhaps something that royals might tell other royals before laughing and saying, “Of course, the danger won’t come to us,” Some people even believed that what people were saying wasn’t true at all, and it was all just performed to make people scared. But unfortunately, they were very much wrong, and the “myth” was in fact very true.

Everyone also knew that magic existed, and people who practiced magic were called sorcerers. Sorcery was considered “good” or “neutral” and used magic to help or change something in a neutral or good way. However, some sorcerers had developed their magic in a negative way, and started practicing dark magic and witchcraft. These sorcerers were then known as witches or warlocks.

For longer than people could remember, a witch had cursed an entire city or town in the Continent every seven years on a random day. At first, they had no idea who was doing it. But then, people had sighted the witch who had done it: Virina Fhaeria, the Witch of Tqladia City.

People outside of the magical community hadn’t known Virina existed until the first time she cursed a town. People knew her if she was making deals with sorcerers or challenging them. People outside the magical community would only hear about her in rumors or from their magical family members. But when Virina started cursing towns, everyone knew about her.

The curses always ended when the next curse began, so there was only one curse happening at a time. People usually were able to adapt to life in the curse, or they would just move out of their town.

There was one curse that was different from all the previous ones. And it happened in a small village nestled near the edge of Tqladia.

It was a perfectly normal spring day in the Corner Village. It was the time of year where all the flowers bloomed and the grass was green and luscious. People walked around the village, greeting neighbors and friends and other people they knew.

No one suspected anything. No one saw a woman in a dark cloak stand in the trees near the border of the village. No one saw her raise her hands before it started glowing dark purple. No one heard her murmuring a sinister enchantment. And at first, no one saw the clouds above the village turn purple, but when they did, everyone panicked and ran into their houses. That’s when they realized what was happening. Everyone knew that when a town is cursed by the witch, the clouds always turn purple. Now it was time for this village to be cursed.

The clouds multiplied and grew bigger, and blocked out all sunlight in the village. Then a mysterious fog swept through the village, and no one knew where it came from. The vision in the fog was particularly cloudy, and no one could see anything, not even someone a few feet away. The people inside their homes thought they were safe, until the fog started penetrating the walls. Soon, there was nothing in the village the fog did not touch.

The experience that people went through when they were caught in the fog was truly magical, but was not at all pleasant. The first thing they felt was as if the fog was grabbing them all with thousands of hands, and grasping them so tightly that it felt as if they were squeezing out their blood. People were unable to move, and it was as if the ground was pulling them down, pinning them in place and choking them. Then, the fog released them, and they all fell to the ground, coughing and catching their breath. The fog was receding. But now, people could feel that things were different. They could feel a tingly feeling in their bones, and in their blood and veins, something that they had never felt before- power. The power of magic. Dark magic.

Chaos filled the streets. People were screaming and running. The witch had done something never done before- give every person in the village a unique curse that only they had. One person was cursed to be cold all the time. Another had a demon whispering terrible things in their ear, making them go insane. Someone else had lost their emotion and their heart, and they could never feel anything.

Everyone in the village was in shock. The previous curses had never been this powerful. They never imagined that the witch could pull off something like this. Everyone hoped for the year to go by quickly so they would lose their curses.

But the day never came. They waited patiently for seven years, telling each other every day, “Don’t worry, it’ll all be over when she curses a new town.” But when she cursed the next town, their curses didn’t stop. It just kept going. Then they realized that this was their life now, to be eternally cursed.

What was worse, their children were cursed as well when they were born. Because of this, people became insane and would do anything to end their curse. A clan of warlocks said that they could teach people how to control their curse and keep it at bay. In desperation, many accepted their help without hesitation. But they soon realized that in order to control their curses, they would have to practice dark magic, so many of the town citizens became warlocks themselves.

Those who did not go insane and turn into warlocks became accustomed to being cursed, and made it part of their daily lives, almost forgetting that it existed. It became normal to complain about curses, and people could never remember a time when they didn’t have it. It went on for years, the births of cursed children and people trying to adapt to their curses. No one thought anything would change.

That was, until Ktyra was born. 


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Tue Aug 15, 2023 4:47 am
CarrotWrites wrote a review...



“Almost everyone in Tqladia and the other kingdoms in the Continent knew about the Witch of Tqladia City. It was like a fairy tale for them, something that people would tell at a tavern or one that an older sibling might tell a younger one to scare them. Or perhaps something that royals might tell other royals before laughing and saying, “Of course, the danger won’t come to us,” Some people even believed that what people were saying wasn’t true at all, and it was all just performed to make people scared. But unfortunately, they were very much wrong, and the “myth” was in fact very true.”


If this was Chapter 1, it might have not completely caught my attention, but it’s the Prologue, hooking the readers, giving them more information, yet it isn’t much of a story. I’d say this sentence pretty successful hooked the readers, and you did a good job with the introduction. However, maybe consider giving a bit more suspense. But really, you already gave a bit of it. I’m curious to read on! :)

You introduced your world, and I have to say that you have such a creative imagination. I’ve never seen anything quite like it before, and I’d say after a few revisions you will reach publishing level. I’m very much hooked, and can’t wait to learn more about the witch and the city. (By the way, Tqladia is a wow of a name, as well as Virina Fhaeria. You’re names are so unique yet strangely memorable).

“People outside of the magical community hadn’t known Virina existed until the first time she cursed a town. People knew her if she was making deals with sorcerers or challenging them. People outside the magical community would only hear about her in rumors or from their magical family members. But when Virina started cursing towns, everyone knew about her.
The curses always ended when the next curse began, so there was only one curse happening at a time. People usually were able to adapt to life in the curse, or they would just move out of their town.”


Hm, this sounds very intriguing. I wonder why some people exist in the magical community, and why some might not. I wonder why did Virina curse the town? What is Virina’s backstory? What sort of curses were there? Where did the witch learn to make curses? And why she curse other towns? How did black magic evolve?

Talking about the other curse of the Corner Village, I could very much imagine the scene. Good vivid descriptions! Though, I couldn’t picture Virina in my head. Maybe it was intentional, for her to be described on Chapter One, but it sort of limit the scene in my head. I like how the narration was like a story told, sort of like an old fairytale. The more you elaborate on the story, the more I get pulled into it.

“Chaos filled the streets. People were screaming and running. The witch had done something never done before- give every person in the village a unique curse that only they had. One person was cursed to be cold all the time. Another had a demon whispering terrible things in their ear, making them go insane. Someone else had lost their emotion and their heart, and they could never feel anything.”


I wonder why the witch did this. Was it because she needed slaves? That she wanted the world to be a mess? And more, what did the villagers do because of the curse? The story is engaging, and original at that. I could see myself reading every chapter. :D Something you can try to improvise, is balance the narration with more description sometimes. The pacing also seems to go this way and that, so maybe you could decide on a good one, and improvise that as well.

“Everyone in the village was in shock. The previous curses had never been this powerful. They never imagined that the witch could pull off something like this. Everyone hoped for the year to go by quickly so they would lose their curses.
But the day never came. They waited patiently for seven years, telling each other every day, “Don’t worry, it’ll all be over when she curses a new town.” But when she cursed the next town, their curses didn’t stop. It just kept going. Then they realized that this was their life now, to be eternally cursed.”


These are perhaps the most intense yet most interesting sentences of this story. I wonder, how can it be? What will happen to the villagers, the townspeople? And more, it gives a hint to the conflict that might happen later on. How were their daily lives? Why was children also cursed? Their curse was so powerful, that they couldn’t do anything. How can they live such a cursed life? You stated that nothing ever changed.

“That was, until Ktyra was born.”


And that is probably the reason I decide to continue. What you have here, from what I read, is such a creative world, perhaps one that needs a bit more explaining. The curses are what get me intrigued, but more, Ktyra hooked me to read Chapter One. Because, how did an ordinary child change anything? Was she born, but not cursed? What happened because of her?




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Thu Jun 15, 2023 10:53 pm
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Kaia wrote a review...



Greetings, friend!
Thank you for the follow! I saw this piece (or at least a chapter of it) hit the literary spotlight a while back and the name caught my attention. I forgot about it until you reminded me of it's existence. Intrigued by the mention of my favorite color (see avatar at left) I decided to give this a try.

Alright, so what do we have here...A village full of curses are are supposed to be ordinary! How extraordinary! But if people are okay with them, there shouldn't be much to worry about. It's like a child born with a defect. He or she learns to live with the disability. But still all this talk of magic and folklore tales has me interested...

And then the talk of purple clouds. Evil purple clouds. Ah...this has my vibe. I'll have to check out the next chapter. :)

Generally, I am known to be a Grammer nitpicker, BUT either I am super tired and didn't notice or (more likely) you made no noticable Grammer mistakes. Nice job!!

I also want to point out I love your personification of the thick purple fog as seen here:

The first thing they felt was as if the fog was grabbing them all with thousands of hands, and grasping them so tightly that it felt as if they were squeezing out their blood. People were unable to move, and it was as if the ground was pulling them down, pinning them in place and choking them. Then, the fog released them, and they all fell to the ground, coughing and catching their breath. The fog was receding.


Overall, nice writing here. You've got a smooth style that helps to flush out the details of the story and keep things running. I loon forward to meeting Ktyra.

Just out of curiosity, how do you pronounce Tqladia? I like the spelling. :)

That's it for this one! Have a great week!




FluorescentAnt says...


Hi Kaia, thank you for reviewing this chapter!
I am glad you didn't find any grammar mistakes- I am also very picky about grammar. And thanks for following me back. And about your question- the "q" is pronounced like a "k" so it would be Te-KLAY-dee-yah. I don't know why, but I like making the names of things starting with weird combinations of consonants. Thanks again for the review! I'm glad you find it interesting!



Kaia says...


Sure! I enjoyed reading it! I can see that about your Grammer for sure. ;) Hey, I like weird names and spellings, too. One of my characters names in a book I'm writing is Zybryn. So, yeah. Heheheh. And I love that pronunciation. I had to try it a few times before I got it right. ;)



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Mon Apr 17, 2023 7:02 pm
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foxmaster wrote a review...



Hello this is Foxmaster!!!🦊
Ohhhhhhhhhh I can tell that this is going to be a very interesting novel! You do a great job of having us ask questions in this that are going to be answered later on. An example:

People outside of the magical community hadn’t known Virina existed until the first time she cursed a town. People knew her if she was making deals with sorcerers or challenging them. People outside the magical community would only hear about her in rumors or from their magical family members. But when Virina started cursing towns, everyone knew about her.

The curses always ended when the next curse began, so there was only one curse happening at a time. People usually were able to adapt to life in the curse, or they would just move out of their town.

wait, okay, what do the curses do?
t was a perfectly normal spring day in the Corner Village. It was the time of year where all the flowers bloomed and the grass was green and luscious. People walked around the village, greeting neighbors and friends and other people they knew.

No one suspected anything. No one saw a woman in a dark cloak stand in the trees near the border of the village. No one saw her raise her hands before it started glowing dark purple. No one heard her murmuring a sinister enchantment. And at first, no one saw the clouds above the village turn purple, but when they did, everyone panicked and ran into their houses. That’s when they realized what was happening. Everyone knew that when a town is cursed by the witch, the clouds always turn purple. Now it was time for this village to be cursed.

The clouds multiplied and grew bigger, and blocked out all sunlight in the village. Then a mysterious fog swept through the village, and no one knew where it came from. The vision in the fog was particularly cloudy, and no one could see anything, not even someone a few feet away. The people inside their homes thought they were safe, until the fog started penetrating the walls. Soon, there was nothing in the village the fog did not touch.

waaaaaaaait OK, it's fog. What's so bad about fog, then? I loooooooooooooove fog, best weather ever!!!!!!!!!
The experience that people went through when they were caught in the fog was truly magical, but was not at all pleasant. The first thing they felt was as if the fog was grabbing them all with thousands of hands, and grasping them so tightly that it felt as if they were squeezing out their blood. People were unable to move, and it was as if the ground was pulling them down, pinning them in place and choking them. Then, the fog released them, and they all fell to the ground, coughing and catching their breath. The fog was receding. But now, people could feel that things were different. They could feel a tingly feeling in their bones, and in their blood and veins, something that they had never felt before- power. The power of magic. Dark magic.

Chaos filled the streets. People were screaming and running. The witch had done something never done before- give every person in the village a unique curse that only they had. One person was cursed to be cold all the time. Another had a demon whispering terrible things in their ear, making them go insane. Someone else had lost their emotion and their heart, and they could never feel anything.

Oh, okay, I understand it now.
Those who did not go insane and turn into warlocks became accustomed to being cursed, and made it part of their daily lives, almost forgetting that it existed. It became normal to complain about curses, and people could never remember a time when they didn’t have it. It went on for years, the births of cursed children and people trying to adapt to their curses. No one thought anything would change.

That was, until Ktyra was born.

Oh, kay, you have me asking a ton of questions here. IS this whoever person gonna get rid of the curses? Not be cursed? Curse the witch instead? BE the witch? (Okay, the last one may not make sense.) You have got me hooked! I just hope that you also continue Hermione's day off soon!
-Foxmaster!!! 🦊




FluorescentAnt says...


Hi Foxmaster, thank you so much for your review!
I'm happy that this story got you hooked, I was a little worried when I was writing this that it wouldn't be exciting enough, but I'm glad that it makes you ask a lot of questions! I did write an example of some of the curses of the other towns, but I deleted it so I will probably add that later. Also I'm probably not going to continue Hermione's Day Off cause I was reading it and I realized that it was really cheesy, but maybe I can un-cheesy it? (I wrote the whole thing with my friend already before posting the first chapter)



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Sun Apr 16, 2023 6:52 pm
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Rose wrote a review...



Greetings!

As I type these words, you are probably sitting somewhere sipping tea or coffee. Or maybe you are just extremely busy doing something important. But whatever you are doing, when you visit this platform again, there will be a review waiting for you.

Please, give me the opportunity to begin.

First of all, I love reading fantasy stories, and I think you did an amazing job of bringing this story to life. You need to have a big imagination to write a fantasy story, and you have that.

The beginning of your story is like dropping a huge bomb. It is very important to have a good introduction to get the reader hooked, and you made sure you had that. That would probably be one of the reasons why I started reading this story.
Your use of unique and intriguing names like "Tqladia" adds another layer of fantasy to the story.

"But unfortunately, they were very much wrong, and the “myth” was in fact very true."

This is one of the sentences that describes a greater mystery. Your use of words is very specific.

-

*
The experience that people went through when they were caught in the fog was truly magical, but was not at all pleasant. The first thing they felt was as if the fog was grabbing them all with thousands of hands, and grasping them so tightly that it felt as if they were squeezing out their blood. People were unable to move, and it was as if the ground was pulling them down, pinning them in place and choking them.
*
The way you describe it is very interesting and creates a vivid picture in the mind of the reader.

-

"The first thing they felt was as if the fog was grabbing them all with thousands of hands, and grasping them so tightly that it felt as if they were squeezing out their blood. "

This sentence is very long, but gives you enough information about what is happening.
-
I really want to know what happens next, people have dark magic now. And I really want to know who Ktyra is.

Is she the chosen one?

Anyhooo, you should continue this. Because you dropped a bomb and you're keeping the readers in suspense. Your story is indeed impressive.

Have a great day,

Rose

https://rosewriting12.blogspot.com/




FluorescentAnt says...


Hi Rose, thank you so much for your review!
I'm glad that it made you want to know what happens next.



Rose says...


It was my pleasure! And of course, I remain in the suspense....

-Rose



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Sun Apr 16, 2023 3:49 am
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sugarscherrypop wrote a review...



Okay so for the first impression of this,
I am IMPRESSED.
The word choices and the careful precision was keeping me hooked. This is very good writing and I'm excited to read the first chapter when it comes out. This story is already very unique and is very good at getting the attention of people. Keep up the hard work!

- Cher ✨




FluorescentAnt says...


Hi Cher, thank you so much for your review!



sugarscherrypop says...


You're welcome!




Remember the rain that made your corn grow.
— Haitian Proverb