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Hatshepsut: the Forgotten Pharaoh (Chapter 3)

by CarolineB17

Published June 1, 2014

E - Everyone

In Poetry

Chapter 3: Neferure's New Tutor

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!," squealed Neferure, as she jumped up and down excitedly on my bed. "WAKE UP!!!," she demanded.

"I'm up , I'm up," I mumbled. It was at this moment I decided there was no point in attempting to go back to sleep. Between last night's adventure/ near death experience and Neferure's screaming it would be impossible.

"Neferure! What is all the excitement about?! If I'm not mistaken ( which I never am), I believe your birthday was last month," I laughed, as I began to tickle her.

"Stop Mommy!," Neferure giggled with delight.

When the tickling finally ceased, we were both exhausted, and lay in heap on my bed panting. Neferure finally spoke up," Mommy, my new tutor comes today, don't you remember?"

"I completely forgot!," I gasped when I realized the time, "He'll be here any minute! Hurry up and get the servants to dress you, I must get ready!"

Neferure scrambled quickly to her room, and I began rushing around hurriedly. "Charmian! Come in here quickly, Neferure's tutor will be here any moment! I must get ready!," I screamed to my servant.

"COMMING MY QUEEN!!," yelled Charmian from afar, I could hear her bustling about as she made her way down the hall with my tunic and jewels. "Here you are my queen," she said politely as she placed the garments onto the bed.

"Thank you Charmian, now go fetch the headdress and beard while I get dressed."

"Yes my queen, but if you don't mind me asking. . . aren't those for the Pharaoh to wear?," she asked cautiously.

"Since my husband's passing, may the Gods rest his soul, I have been pondering this issue of who is to assume the throne now that he is gone. Thutmose III and Neferure are both far to young to take on such a role. So , I being the only person of royal blood left, have taken it upon myself to become the new pharaoh. However, this also brings up another issue, there are no symbols in hieroglyphics to describe a 'woman pharaoh' so I have decided to dress as a man."

Unfortunately, I believe that this news was a lot for Charmian to take in, she was taken aghast, and had to sit and rest for a moment in order for her to completely process everything. Meanwhile, I was stuck getting the pharaoh's headdress and beard. It's so hard to find good help these days!

After a short while, when Charmian finally calmed down and made sense of everything, she proceeded to help me get dressed in all of the appropriate attire which I had picked out. It wasn't long before I was finally ready. I felt overwhelmed with power and responsibility. Now, it was my job to govern and rule this great land, and I (being a woman) , knew that it would not be an easy task.

I then made my way to the throne room, where Neferure's tutor would soon arrive, if he had not already. When I entered, the palace guards lining the walls on every side of the large room, bowed down in my presence. I nodded, and they again returned to their upright solider-like positions. I continued walking to the throne, and then took my seat as the rightful heir and ruler of my kingdom!

Far too long I had sat in silence as Thutmose II ruled over my beloved people! At long last it was my time to govern, following in my father's footsteps. . . He would have been so proud.

All of a sudden, my expression went blank as I remembered the events of last night at the river. My father's words echoed in my mind," You are destined for great things."

'Perhaps this is what he meant!," I thought excitedly," A sign from the Gods themselves sent by my father's spirit! A sign that this was what I was supposed to be. . . Egypt's next great pharaoh!"

Abruptly, my thoughts were interrupted. "Excuse me your majesty, but allow me to present to you Neferure's new tutor!," one of the guards announced, as he moved to the side and revealed the man.

"Thank you guard, you may return to your post," I said while examining the tutor. He was tall and muscular looking, with shaggy brown hair and an sheepish smile, but the most intriguing thing about him was a long jagged scar which ran down the side of his right cheek. It was ghastly, and I was taken aback.

When he saw my expression, he quickly covered the up the scar with his hand, and looked down in embarrassment. " I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. . . um I don't believe I got your name," I said apologetically.

" My name," said the gentleman," is Senenmut, and I hope to mold the mind of the young princess, so that she will be able to one day rule Egypt as good as her mother and father have."

There was a strange familiarity about Senenmut, but I dismissed the thought and continued to talk," Would you like to meet Princess Neferure?"

"Oh, it would be an honor," said Senenmut as he bowed.

I clapped my hands, and within minutes, two of Neferure's servants appeared. They showed Senenmut out of the throne room, and down the hall to where Neferure was waiting patiently for him.

After Senenmut departed the room I continued on with my royal duties just as other pharaohs had before me. 'I must get to know this tutor of Neferure's better,' I thought to myself.

Comments & reviews · 4
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Aravis10
Review
Aravis10 wrote a review Review · Jun 7, 2014

Hi! Aravis again!
I really liked the appearance of this tutor right after her near death experience. The suspense is mounting! But I also liked the scene of her motherly love with Neferure to break up the suspense. Is that how you spell it? By the way, how do you pronounce that name?
In the second paragraph, you have that weird slash. "last night's adventure/near death experience" Maybe you should just pick one. It would flow with the story better.
She just decided to become the Pharaoh, right? It just seemed very spur of the moment. I'm sure it wasn't since such a big decision would take some thought. But one moment she is playing with her daughter, then she wants to dress up like a man. I wish there had been some conflict mentioned. It would make Hatshepsut seem more human and less like a historical figure. If that makes sense. :p
Anywho, keep up the good writing! I want to see where this is going!

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Unique
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Unique commented Comment · Jun 1, 2014

It's great! I would just suggest one thing, you should describe the surroundings more so the reader understands what exactly they are looking at. Otherwise, this looks awesome! Keep up the amazing work!

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Unique
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Unique commented Comment · Jun 1, 2014

It's great! Keep up the good work!

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Rapunzel321
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Rapunzel321 wrote a review Review · Jun 1, 2014

I really like that you showed the point in time where Hatsheput decided to dress like a man and become a pharaoh. I remember reading about this in class and I was thinking she really shouldn't have to do all of that just to be ruler. She was an excellent ruler in her time. You picked a really good pharaoh to write about. She was one of the reason that Egypt was able to prosper.
I also like the fact that you incorporated Hatsheput's daughter into her becoming the pharaoh; that was really original. You didn't just throw it out there that she became a pharaoh you gave us a story which I must say is hard to do.
Can't wait for chapter 4! :)

Lol I just finished chapter 3, hope you like the rest of it!! :)



"And what is the use of a book," thought Alice, "without pictures or conversations?"
— Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland