Have a safe trip.
I hope that, in the end, you come back to me.
****
I hope the moments we’ve shared (though short) are etched deeply enough to convince you why “us” is worth returning to,
worth building upon.
****
I hope I get to wear that dress for you, and we can do all the things we talked about —creating even more memories.
*****
I hope my love and laughter were genuine enough for you to see me for me — and that they were enough for you.
******
I hope you see that we make a great team, a solid couple, something picture-perfect—what others can only wish for.
*******
I hope you know I genuinely love you for who you are, and you didn’t even have to try too hard for me to feel that way.
******
I hope I was never too much for you, and if we make it through this phase, I hope I never become too much for you.
******
And if reality shatters all my hopes,
and hope shifts into mere wishes,
know this:
I will cheer for you from afar,
hoping your choices light up your heart
as brightly as you once lit up mine.
****
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140,262 Literary Works • 673,077 Reviews
Hello! Ley here to review this awesome piece for you! I'm using my fantasy themed review method today. I hope this review helps in more ways than one. Let's get into it!
A Journey Begins:
Firstly, I haven't seen you much around YWS! I hope to read more of your poetry in the future. I'm not sure what I expected when I clicked on this piece (based off the short synopsis), and I'm really glad I did! I'm a sucker for romantic poetry, and this hit the mark for me. I have some suggestions and some praise, so let's talk about some specifics~
Glimmers in The Gloom:
Okay, so, the very first thing I noticed and wanted to point out was the reuse of "I hope" in stanzas two through six! It added more and more desperation in every single stanza, and really projected the narrators emotions onto the reader. It gave off vibes of "pleading", which I'm guessing is what you were going for here. Amazing job!
My favorite stanza would have to be the last one:
This was the most perfect ending you could've written! I love it. Not only do you break from the repetition of "I hope" to close out the poem, but the word choice is so raw and beautiful. <3 I also feel like this poem is extremely relatable, as I'm sure those who have military partners or something similar feels the same. Thank you for sharing this awesome work!
Magic Upgrades:
I do have one suggestion, and it's just my personal opinion-- so feel free to ignore this! Instead of having longer lines in the middle, why not break them up a bit to keep the rhythms constant? For example, we could take this:
into this:
I feel like this adds even more vibes XD But, if you'd rather keep it looking like a letter, that's cool too! Just a suggestion <3
The Final Enchantment:
Overall, this was an awesome read! I really enjoyed the voice of the narrator in this. <3 Thank you for sharing, and I hope to read more work in the future!
Thank you for taking time to read this review! I hope you have a lovely day <3
Thank you for this beautiful review! Love Love it. Yes, I do not come here often mostly because of work, but I%u2019m finding my way back these days.
The poem is intended to feel like a letter and that is why I didn%u2019t break most of these lines into stanza. It%u2019s like a letter to a lover.
Thanks once again. I hope to be here more often too!
"Have a safe trip.
with a smile and hug.
I hope that, in the end, you come back to me.
****
I hope the moments we’ve shared (though short) are etched deeply enough to convince you why “us” is worth returning to,
worth building upon." I absolutely positively resolutely love your word play on with this part. I felt like I was singing while I was reading it. I could almost feel it. And then I had to read the next line after that. You are a good hook and sinker author girl. Thats rare.
"I hope I get to wear that dress for you, and we can do all the things we talked about —creating even more memories." when i read this i saw a blonde on a beach with a red flowy sundress with a big thin sun hat. Awesome. It was like an illustration. Cool!
"I hope my love and laughter were genuine enough for you to see me for me — and that they were enough for you." its so weird...on your profile, it says you're twenty eight and i'm 31 now but I met the love of my life when i was 28. I just found him. Be patient girl...it took a while for me to find him and then a year and a half to be exclusive. Your person is going to love you for you so much that its effortless. He knows my faces, even my breaths.
"I hope I was never too much for you, and if we make it through this phase, I hope I never become too much for you.
******
And if reality shatters all my hopes,
and hope shifts into mere wishes,
know this:
I will cheer for you from afar,
hoping your choices light up your heart
as brightly as you once lit up mine.
****" Thats actually my one fear. I fell for him so hard, i mean he is so so so so good, am i enough to make him happy. Am i good enough for him? And honestly, with him knowing me inside and out, he reassures me every time
Thank you sooooo much for this review. It%u2019s funny how I wasn%u2019t even searching for %u201Cthe one%u201D as I%u2019ve been single for about 5 years now. I%u2019m so so big on career, but he came unexpectedly and was leaving just as soon. And in that moment, I realized I was missing something all these while even though I never thought so.
Watching him leave was hurtful and now there%u2019s a huge gap in my heart. I hope I find him again or even better.
Thanks for sharing your journey with me, gives me hope. %u2764%uFE0F