Young Writers Society

it is a review.
wow! it is totally very encouraging words.it is very hard to find positive mind people now a days.everyone ready to find hole in others but no one try to hold light on your path. Honestly, I love your poetry. for God sake you wrote very much beautiful way to show the light in heart..god bless you..love your poem.and plzz keep writing

Hello there, and welcome to YWS!

I like the message of the poem. It's a pretty consistent and uplifting, advocating thinking for oneself, fighting for one's friends, and choosing one's battles. The second-person style is uncommon, but flows nicely in this piece, and adds to its overall motivational theme. The extended metaphor is unique, but conveyed exceptionally well. Here, the tree can easily symbolize a person, whereas the island itself stands for their friendships and relationships. There is a bit of an ambiguous syntax here, as you point out "that a tree/Does not make an island.", but later statements appear to corroborate the opposite - the tree, in essence, grows and develops islands. Of course, I understand that the lines mean different things, as the tree itself is not an island, but can help construct ones. Still, it can be confusing. Regardless, the inclusion of such elements as sunlight and water and air, all of which are essential to a tree, adds to the metaphor, emphasizing that one focus on choosing their battles and working to create a great group of friends by contemplation and finding what one likes, and what instrumentally composes them. Both of these can then allow one to connect with others, based on mutual interests, and form the bonds that make an island.

As a few other notes: "Process with your brain before you perform any physical action" is extremely stuffy compared to the surrounding lines, and messes with the tone. "Extinct in an eye's blink" is an internal rhyme, and isn't half bad, but just rolls off the tongue ever-so awkwardly, and is still inconsistent with the rest of the poem. The semicolon between "your friends" and the mentioning of sunlight and water is an odd break, especially after a comma just a short distance away. It might be better to say something like "You're the tree, and your friends"... etc. Otherwise, everything else is just semantics, and their stylistic nature means that there isn't much point for me to discuss them (though I'm still in the camp that says you don't need to capitalize every word, and commas should be scattered as though these were more like sentences). All in all, what a nice poem you have here; it's inspirational, bright, and well-written! Great job!

Hello Carlymillie!

Firstly, I'd reconsider your punctuation and flow a bit. I feel as though some un-punctuated parts (like the list of commands) feel choppy and don't flow well because of the lack of punctuation. While I know that no punctuation is a stylistic choice, for this, I don't feel like it matches too much. Punctuation in Poetry is a good guide to punctuating poetry.

You're the tree, your friends; the rays of sunlight and the healthy sufficient water. Choose the right sunshine and fetch from the right sea the water you need to develop that tree into an island.

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