Young Writers Society

First, thanks for sharing. The poem is a lover's observation or thoughts concerning his or her love who is at a distance at the time it is being written. The poem expresses a yearning for nearness to become a reality. This distance is described as trouble or troubling. The speaker has full trust in his love even though not present and describes it as truest.

Why the love is described as untold isn't explained. Perhaps it is a secretive love? Unlawful love? Many things can cause a love to be untold. So the reader's imagination is left to consider the possibilities.

The references to a star conveys the confidence that the love has a positive future. I like the way that dear and dearest and sweet and sweetest imply the differences between being near and being far from a loved one.

Suggestion:

The following was distracting because it is ungrammatical.

"You alone is thy truest"

The pronoun "you" and the verb of existence "is" don't mesh.


It literally means "You alone is your truest."

"You alone are the truest." is grammatical.

Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! Grim is here as well, drinking hot cocoa and being a slacker. *Grim looks over, glaring* So, lets get started.

So, the first thing I noticed is that commas are missing. This may be a style choice but I will list them just in case it is not. These lines or stanzas would be "Dear dearer dearest" (commas are needed after each word for this line), "Soon we'd be nearest" ( a comma is also needed after the word soon), "Sweet sweeter sweetest" (Same deal as the first line), "You alone is thy truest", "Our love untold so ardent". Overall, I liked the poem and the way you worded it, it really blended well with the whole meaning. That is, if I get it right!

Now is when I dissect your poem and see if I can't get its meaning right! So, in your poem you are telling us, the reader, that this is about a long distance relationship, no? From reading the second line that is what the poem is screaming at me. If it is, I understand fully what this poem is talking about and how painful it can be. (I am currently in a long distance relationship). You are telling us that soon you two won't have to crave ones touch and you will one day buy a one way ticket. Long distance love is stronger then most. It is knowing some one, knowing their ins and outs, before knowing them physically. You get to learn about them. Its more then just physical connects, relationships are about so much more then that.

Overall, I loved the poem and keep up the good work! Happy Thanksgiving! I really need to go now Grim has souls to reap and he needs more cocoa. He has a problem, seriously. Cheerio and fruit loops to you!

Hello there, Ghost here for a review.

Ghostie's very unreliable and terrifying, so don't take her seriously unless you want to.

So let's begin, shall we?

Hello, Adrian here for a review
i think that this poem was extremely well written!
your flow was outstanding and i think you nailed!
i am going to assume that you did't use any form of punctuation on purpose considering that there's literally no punctuation at all haha.
now as for the message of this poem, it took me a couple of times reading over to finally get it for some reason, but when i finally DID get it, this instantly became one of my new favorite poems. i really love it!
i look forward to seeing more from you in the future
have an amazing day and MERRY CHRISTMAS 2ND!
>Adrian