I refuse, so don’t take me back
I don’t want to think of that past.
I refuse, so leave me alone
I’ve already seen the pain you have shown.
I will not, so don’t remind me
That, I wish never again to see.
I will not, so say goodbye
Leave, don’t even try.
Don’t tell me, for I already know
I know the hurt and the tears of that foe.
Don’t tell me, I’ve already learned
Unknown feelings have already been churned.
Forget me, and please—never return
For a healed wound will worse burn.
Forget me, and let me have peace
And let this pain forever cease.
So forget me.
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,814 Reviews
Hi CClesta,
I really admire the style of writing in this poem, it's so sophisticated. I can say that these two verses:
"Forget me, and let me have peace
And let this pain forever cease."
Really got me in the deep zone, it got me asking questions in my mind of what happened to the narrator to reach this drastic situation.
Overall I really enjoyed your poem, keep up the good work
Thank you very much!!
Hello CClesta!
Now, on with the review!
Snazzy here for a review! First off, welcome to YWS! I hope you really enjoy it here! Second, good job on this piece! I really did enjoy reading it!
I found these two lines disrupted the flow of the poem (more so the last than the first). I would try and lengthen the second to make the syllable count near the same as the first line (as you had done previously.
Once again, the flow was disrupted (but only a smidgen) in the second line. Also, I get what you are saying in the second line here, however, it seemed worded odd, and made me stumble around in that part of the poem, when I would of much rather just read without stopping on your amazing poem.
Suggestions, Comments, and other Bologna:
The only other thing I have caught is that your ending seems rather abrupt. I would like to see this finish out as the beginning had started (with the long lines with near matching syllable length), rather than end the rhyming/rhythm scheme. I understand some poems end very well like the way you had used, but I just found it kind of a build-up to nothing. (Although this is a big matter of opinion, I found it just a little off.)
Other than that, this was nice! I'm so glad you left this vague. I love being able to interpret it myself.
~Snazzy
Thanks! Really helped
Hey Hey!
How are you? Ready for a review? or more my opinion on what this means? You said that it's vague for a reason, so that people could associate they're own meaning. Well this is what I think it means:
I think this is a girl who's trying to leave her boyfriend. And she's succeeded. She's out of his house, she's living with a friend, maybe? But she knows she's not strong enough to say no if he comes back for her. If he stands at her door, with flowers, or chocolate, or anything, she will fall back in his arms, forgetting all the bad things he's ever done. That's why she begs for him to forget her.
She's trying to leave him, forget him, start a new chapter of her life and start her future, but she can't if he keeps being there. So she asks him to leave her for good. She has done the first step the other way, and now asks him to start walking too.
What do you think? How wrong was I?
By the way, absolutely amazing poem! Well done!
Love,
Lau.
Hey, Lau! You are actually on the right track, but my meaning of this poem is slightly different. Yes, it's about a girl and her 'boyfriend,' I guess...But a bit deeper than that.
I wrote 'Forget Me' along with a story I'm currently working on. The main character has spent all her life fighting against getting drawn into life's monotonous and endless cycle--so she refuses to ever fall in love with/get attached to anything of the world. She strives to have no emotion whatsoever.
But she finally falls in love--as is to be expected--and she hates herself for it. And so the poem is about her, from a first person perspective. She's talking to LOVE in the poem, not the boy. She hates how she fell in love, and she's asking for love to 'forget her' again.
Of course, the boy she fell in love with lives far away, and because of certain circumstances, she's only be able to see him once a year--at most. So after she left, she tries to tell herself that she doesn't love him anymore--which explains why she's talking as if love was a thing of the past.
And love is associated with pain to her because, well, for one--she knows there's no way they would ever be able to be together--and secondly, and mostly--because she MAKES is painful, in her own mind. She tries to hate love. But she actually wants love. And so she just wants love to 'forget her,' since she's finding it near impossible to forget love herself.
Sorry for the lengthy reply :'D And I appreciate you taking the time to share what it means to you. It really does help--I can see how others understand something differently than how I understand it. ...If that even makes any sense. Let me know if there's anything I should edit
Well.....so much for not sharing my meaning for the poem :'D
--CC
You're version is a lot better than mine! I like this a lot more and makes much more sense. I don't know what else I could say, except that the fact she talks to "love" reminds me of the bookthief, where the narrator is "death". Either way, great poem!
Oh, interesting......didn't think about that. Yeah, I it's not the most original idea :'D
NO!NO!NO! that is definitely not what I meant!! The opposite even! I love that book! And I just thought you would like to read it, if you hadn't. Trust me, your poem is great! And I don't lie
LOL okay :'D I liked the movie, didn't read the book