my invisible mask
shone in the mirror
with shivers of silver.
it stuck to my face,
so perfect that
it's impossible to see
with the naked eye.
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,777 Reviews
Hello Buranko,
Lehmanf here with a short review. I hope it finds you well.
I think this is a really neat poem. I really like the first stanza but I think you lose your rhythm on your last line in the second stanza which is slightly disappointing. But well crafted and written.
To correlate with the second stanza your last line talks about it being so perfect you can't see it and yet the first line here is about the mask being invisible. I really like the second line, it also makes me think of clear pools of water as you stare at your reflection. Water slightly distorting your face. I think the last line actually makes me think of the flowing distortion of lapsing water.
The first two lines are really nicely written but I think the last line could be shorter to match the rest of the poem. I'm not exactly why it keeps breaking the rhythm but it is for some reason.
This may be a weird interpretation but I keep thinking of someone swimming, going underwater, a light film of water covering their skin.
Have a fantastic day/evening
Lehmanf
Hello Buranko, I thought I'd leave a quick review.
I was really intrigued by your title, which reminded me of a movie called Mirror Mask.
This poem is concise and yet conveys such a profound theme regarding the mask the narrator wears.
The narrator has done such a good job of portraying a perfect image of herself that the separation between the mask and what's underneath is so miniscule.
The use of imagery with the line "shivers of silver" was really beautiful, but the term shivers makes me think something cold. Was that your intention? From how I interpret that line, the mask is a representation of perfection but it is cold, perhaps aloof. All in all this is a very beautiful piece.
Thanks for sharing,
PoetryMisfit
yup, something cold, like a metallic mask
Hey there Buranko!!
<3
This is Eros here with a review for you!
This concept was really so different. I loved the title, it was soo catchy, (obviously, or else how would i be here). The title is crisp and short, related to the work, catchy and attractive, which makes it apt and appropriate. Good job on that!
The poem is written is a format, good.
I like the set of words and imagery used here.
"Shivers of silver" awesome part.
"So perfect that it's impossible to see with the naked eye" really written soo beautifully. I love the style of your writing. You have used very few words and yet, portrayed everything you wanted to say in a cool way. Really loved your work.
*Leaves a like, because i really liked it!
Keep writing such amazing works,
We would love to keep reading them and keep reviewing them as well!
Have a great day/ night!
With love,
From
Eros.
We hide our emotions from others,in fear of what will happen.But if we just talk about our feelings or write them down,we’ll feel better.Any of the two is helpful,as long as they (our feelings) are out.I enjoyed reading this poem.At times we feel like hiding our emotions.This was written nicely.I hope you have a good and wonderful day and night.