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Cyclical Hunger

by Buranko


the serpent bites its tail.
endlessly circling,
It brought those who were
to join these who are.

the serpent bites its tail,
mountains and rivers and
the huge ocean
never stood a chance.

the serpent swallowed its tail
turning inside out-
time stopped still
then began anew…

the serpent bites its tail.
endlessly circling,
It brought those who were
to join these who are.

the serpent bites its tail,
mountains and rivers and
the huge ocean
never stood a chance.

the serpent swallowed its tail
turning inside out-
time stopped still
then began anew…


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15 Reviews

Points: 233
Reviews: 15

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Thu Nov 16, 2023 6:53 am
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TimelessMage says...



This is great! The repetition of stanzas made this a really enjoyable read. I didn't understand why you repeated the stanzas until I thought about Ouroboros. The stanza
"the serpent bites its tail,
mountains and rivers and
the huge ocean
never stood a chance."
shows the sheer depth of the powerlessness of everything against time, which is fantastic. Usually, I find it really jarring when there is no punctation between lines, but in this poem, it works, lending itself to the philosophical idea that time might not be continuous. Time is a slippery and fickle concept, and looping in on itself is one of the classic ways that it decays. Combining this with the lines
"never stood a chance" and
"It brought those who were
to those who are"
make it seem like Ouroboros is brining about the end of the world and time. You made my brain happy reading this. Thank you.




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15 Reviews

Points: 233
Reviews: 15

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Thu Nov 16, 2023 6:50 am
TimelessMage wrote a review...



This is great! The repetition of stanzas made this a really enjoyable read. I didn't understand why you repeated the stanzas until I thought about Ouroboros. The stanza
"the serpent bites its tail,
mountains and rivers and
the huge ocean
never stood a chance."
shows the sheer depth of the powerlessness of everything against time, which is fantastic. Usually, I find it really jarring when there is no punctation between lines, but in this poem, it works, lending itself to the philosophical idea that time might not be continuous. Time is a slippery and fickle concept, and looping in on itself is one of the classic ways that it decays. Combining this with the lines
"never stood a chance" and
"It brought those who were
to those who are"
make it seem like Ouroboros is brining about the end of the world and time. You made my brain happy reading this. Thank you.




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20 Reviews

Points: 314
Reviews: 20

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Wed Nov 15, 2023 11:26 am
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GrHinds09 wrote a review...



I really enjoyed the flow of this poem. The repeating stanzas add a really nice emphasis on the point. Also I enjoyed the ouroboro reference. I like that the poem repeats which shows how this could go on infinitely. This was also probably my favorite part.
"the serpent bites its tail.
endlessly circling,
It brought those who were
to join these who are.
the serpent bites its tail,
mountains and rivers and
the huge ocean
never stood a chance."
Anyways this was a great read and a good way to start my morning off so thank you!
I hope you have a supercalifragilistic day, night, evening, dawn, dusk. midday whatever!




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8 Reviews

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Reviews: 8

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Mon Nov 13, 2023 6:44 pm
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doegrl wrote a review...



Hi! I am also here because I have thought a bit about the symbolism of ouroboros, and it's not something I see often. So definitely caught my attention!

Immediately, I love repetition in poems. I love how repetition sounds verbally, and how you can keep a theme or really drive something home. Especially for the ouroboros,it just makes so much sense. It's a really simple move, yet made this work so much more effective.

Thanks for giving us the chance to read!




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151 Reviews

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Reviews: 151

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Mon Nov 13, 2023 1:12 pm
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PKMichelle wrote a review...



Hello friend!
I saw your work in the Green Room and figured I'd check it out. I would like to say, however, that poetry is not my strong suit.


On first impressions, I was very excited to see what you wrote, because I too have a fascination with ouroboros. And I have to say, I was very pleased. You did a wonderful job encapsulating the basic meaning of ouroboros and what they stand for, which is really incredible.


If I could offer any sort of advice, I wouldn't! Because you unquestionably wrote a better poem than I ever could. Which doesn't really say much because I never write poems, which is why I'm also going to say this is amazing!


If I had to pick my favorite part, it would certainly be the way you repeated certain stanzas to imply emphasis on what you were trying to say. And I also really enjoyed everything you said and the way you structured the stanzas and lines in the poem. So, truthfully, my favorite part is the whole thing, because you did a fantastic job!


Overall, this was an incredible piece of poetry, and I'm incredibly grateful that you decided to put it out there for all of us to read. You did a great job, and I'll definitely try to check out more of your work!


Goodbye for now! I hope you have a wonderful day (or night) wherever you are!




Buranko says...


Thanks, great reply, love the color coding!




I have my books and my poetry to protect me.
— Paul Simon