it obscures my every desire
makes me feel like im on fire
im working towards recovery
while fighting with my anxiety
always worried about what they think
as if they wont be gone in a blink
people pleaser since i was young
always having to bite my tongue
too focused on other people
i dont feel like im equal
im working towards recovery
while fighting with my anxiety
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Canary word: Present
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138,740 Literary Works • 672,270 Reviews
Can you all let me know whether you feel this is too short or not? I have more that are this length and I’m wondering about posting them 2 at a time with a line separating them or something?
hey it%u2019s all up to you!! some poems r literally two lines long, it%u2019s just what suits u and speaks ur voice better, and what represents your feelings!
i want to review this but im pretty occupied rn %uD83D%uDE2D ill try to get to it! happy writing!
Oh for sure! But what I mean was, I don%u2019t want it to be too short and boring to someone, you know?
And no worries!!
Hi! I think as an artist with words (fancy thing to call a writer idk), don't worry about it! We see a lot of poems that are pages long or three lines (Like a Haiku!). Don't fret about this, it's amazing!
That%u2019s fair. Thank you!
This is a really good poem. I like how there’s not a lot of punctuation and the ‘i’s aren’t capitalized, I don’t know if this was on purpose but it makes me feel like the writer is distracted or focused on something else which fits with the theme. I love poems with a repeating verse so this was a poem I enjoyed reading a lot. I have anxiety as well and reading this reminded me of how my internal monologue sounds sometimes. I just wanna say that this poem is super good, and it’s not too short. Keep up the great work. You got this ml <3
Mwah Mwah!
-STARRYY
Hi BreezySprout!!! It's me, Hop, here with a review!! I am currently on a time crunch and trying to finish this in six minutes so apologies for this not being the longest!!
First of all, this poem is not too short. It is still a very nice poem and there doesn't need to be a defined length for poems!!!
This poem really hits deep. It flows nicely but at the same time still invokes the emotions it was trying to reach. You can just sorta feel the description has anxiousness in it.
I like how nicely this poem rhymes. It doesn't even feel intentional, but most likely is. It does just hit how anxiety feels spot on.
I also really admire how you didn't use capitalization on this poem. I don't even know why either. It just really helps get the vibe and set the mood of the entire poem.
Overall, this poem is amazing and I'm sorry how bad this review was!!! I just want you to know I enjoyed it!!!!
Stay amazing! Keep Writing!
Love,
Hop
Thank you for your review!! It%u2019s not a bad one, don%u2019t worry!
I%u2019m glad you enjoyed the poem! The rhyming is a bit intentional and I%u2019m glad the poem has the affect I wanted it to. Not using capitalization in poetry just feels Right(tm) to me lol, I have no idea why.
I%u2019m so glad you enjoyed reading this, thank you again for your review and I hope you have a great day/night!
I actually love this quite a bit. I relate to nearly every line and it’s got solid rhymes mostly and a good flow.
However, the one main critique I would have is that “recovery” and “anxiety” are very clumsy rhymes compared to all the rest, especially when some are multisyllabic.
It might sound different when you say it out loud, but that was my impression reading through it. Sobriety, even if it doesn’t actually relate to you as much, would rhyme much better. Try it and other options if you so choose.
Overall, great poem!
And I think it’s best to post them by themselves, it’s plenty substantial to be deserving of it and your poems will get more individual attention that way.
Thank you for your review! I%u2019m glad you enjoyed it. :3