Sting of Air

Hey there, Cailey here with a review. (I honestly keep saying it will be my last and then I get carried away and write one more.) But now I have epic Narnia music to keep me going.

Anyway, I tried to figure out what this was about, but I'm tired and my brain has been working hard all day, so I've come up empty. I wanted to be able to take the time to figure it out, but I really just don't have enough time, and again, I don't think my brain could handle it.

I love that you took some ordinary event (though I don't know what it is) and turned it into an epic poem like this. It was great.

I have to say, beware of rhyming. Don't just force words in because they rhyme. There were a few places where it seemed like that is what you had done. So make sure that if you choose a word you choose it because it fits what you want to say, not just because it fits the rhyme. And you have on or two typos in there.

Otherise, nice job, I love how you refer the last line back to the title. I always am happy when poetry does the full circle and the end goes back to the beginning. It makes me smile. So, nice job.

I really don't have many critiques for this. I just really like it and really want to know what the event is. Keep writing!

It's a shower!!!!

(I totally didn't search up this poem because of your topic of subtlety. )

Also, typo!

you cant escape

This is ImHero here for the review!

Content:
Now I can't quite pin-down what you are talking about, we had a very long discussion as to what it is, but I generally went with the consensus that it was talking about a whale. This is a poem that relies on interpretation, for you never cleared up what it was with a solid object. I think it is wonderful in that respect and you must notice why I think that. For me writing is always to satisfy a goal, whatever that goal may be is up to the writer. In this poem I get a feeling that the goal was to make the reader more creative and force them to come up with a conclusion. So you must understand when dealing with great amounts of ambiguity people will have different interpretations. You also must understand this poem doesn't accomplish a purpose to change anything about contemporary society or do anything BUT that first process that I have explained. That is a good thing, in some cases and I think this is one of them.

Structure:
Now, I think it is bad practice to add a few ryhmes here and there and then forget them through the work. I think if you are going to have a ryhme scheme then stick to it or if not, then don't. It didn't very much alter the flow but people are generally looking for them now instead of just reading the work. It is something you have to decide and many people just refuse to like a work when they think they see a ryhme scheme altering the flow or content- it is stupid i know.

Other then that the stanzas had great structure to them. The first line and last line was USUALLY smaller then the lines in the middle. It is more of something that no-one notices but adds great rhythm to the piece. And I am a strong advocate of the technique where you leave one line stranded to the bottom for emphasis so great jod and it was executed very well.

And remember to keep writing.

Your Hero,
ImHero

Well snap XD I thought this was really good I love the style of poetry that you wrote it in. I love the way that it all flows through and makes out of sense still making sense way of reading (If that makes any sense at all >.> ) Main pointer, I loved it. The stanzas were set out. The words had a really good, deep meaning to them. The feeling of it was string, and even though it was short, it really hit hard home about the factor of life. People forget the sting of the fresh air (sorry if this is completely OFF what you meant it to mean) Well, this was my review. Hope to read more of your works
Hitting you with another review
Sl4y4

Hi, Blackwood. It's been a long time since I wrote reviews and now you will be one of the first people to be reviewed by me. So let's get started I kinda think this poem doesn't make sense a little sentences like "every song, sounds like angels sing" that sentence doesn't go with the heading and i think you made a mistake with the last word another is the third and fourth stanza what does hunger gave to do with the sting of air. I would also like to know what the words in the italics are you could write what they are in your description. You haven't got any punctuation marks or capital letters (you don't even have one at the start of your poem. Stanza's are like paragraph's not sentences which are followed by the stanza before it when you start a new stanza you have a capitol letter like a paragraph.

The things I like about this poem is that it's put into paragraph's, it sounds beautiful, calm and it's like a song which is good.

I am sorry if I sounded harsh.