Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,237 Literary Works • 673,049 Reviews
OMG! I weeped seriously. This was a masterpiece. No grammar fails, no typos, and spelling seems ok.
This was pure emotion. I know that feeling, pure, and deep sadness, cooked together with anger, regret and all feelings you can have at once. I love that you give a kind of knowledge, so that when I understand that you lost that good a friend, I miss him myself.
10/10 Adore it. You should celebrate this!
Love, Bob Walker
I loved this poem, it was pure emotion! Who cares about metaphorical imagery. This was an awsome expression of yourself and you should be proud.
. I also like the way your poem goes through more than one emotion. I find that when people focuss on only one, it pulls the poem down a bit. But yours was like; longing, then sadness, then Acceptance, then sadness again. Your emotions were as much a poem as the rest of it.
Anyway, your conventions, layout and all that good so...
My rating: 5*s
My favorite part: last 3 stanzas
Keep writing!
w&w
Hi Ben!
Your poem, according to me, was quite expressive. What I felt was missing in it was the use of at least a few metaphors. There's absolutely no hard and fast rule that poetry always requires metaphors and imagery, but they always add to the emotions and expressions, you know. Another thing that I'd like to mention is a wavering rhyme scheme. It's always better that you either rhyme all of it or not rhyme at all. But then, it's again all up to you.
There's nothing in your poem that seemed out of place. Just one single thing I felt I should mention. You wrote-
"Acceptance was hard,
But all things must pass."
The word 'acceptance' usually carries an approving sense, but since here you are conveying a feeling of grief, something you had to accept despite yourself, this word is not really suitable. Maybe if you put it like this-
"Letting you go was ever so hard,
But alas! All things must pass."
This is a totally personal opinion. You are free to ignore it.
In a nutshell, I liked your writing. The more you write, the better you get. So, keep writing, keep improving. Good luck, Ben!