Sugar-Coated Melody

In line five you put the wrong there it should be there instead of their. I have the chills this poem has gave me chills, that never happens. I love your poems, anyone can relate to them, plus like I have said previously they have so much heart and soul if I didn't know better I would say you have gone threw each and everyone of the subjects you have written.

WARNING: this might not make a lot of sense. I'm new to this review thing. So...here it goes...

Nice idea overall. But firstly, there's a couple of misspelled words like Always (All ways?).
Secondly, "the marks you seem to only ever give me." ~ Maybe try rephrasing this.
"The marks you seem to ever only give me."?

Yeah... next, my interpretation. It sounds like this song is about relationship abuse ~ the classic story~
It starts off as love. And love is the best feeling ever right? When you feel like your being swept off your feet like a fair princess.
But jealousy took over. Now the love is turned to infatuation.
You're blinded because what you had was once actually love. And you're too attached to let it all go. But you realize eventually what it is.
It's not love- it's abuse...

Was that good?

Hey...This is a nice poem! I enjoyed reading it..actually it's like a beautiful song..you should continue writing stuff like this. I feel that alot of people can relate to this..Keep up the good work

Hey!

I love the idea of this poem. Abuse is a very real problem in the world and I think this poem does a good job of capturing one side of it.

I noticed just a few errors. You have some minor spelling issues, but that's an easy fix, just be a little more careful when proofreading. (Spellcheck can be very helpful.) Also I did notice you used the wrong form of there. You said "theirs" when it should be "there's". Once again that's an easy fix. Besides just minor grammatical and some spelling errors I didn't notice anything else.

I do think you could use more detail though. The poem has a very powerful meaning and message, and using more detail would further that message. Really small details like colors and how the weather was go a long way. For example, when you say, "and throw me against the wall," you could add in an adjective to describe the wall, or how he threw her. Just to add more meaning to what you're saying.

Overall, I really liked it. It's easy to understand, while not being too direct. Keep writing, have an awesome day!!

Hello Bambi,
This is an awesome poem! I love the ending saying you've fallen out of love. The last line just stops the poem in such a dramatic way it's great. I have a few nit-picky spelling errors but otherwise this poem is really good.

"An you throw me against the wall" should be "And you throw me against the wall"
"Its becoming harder to hide them," should be "It's becoming harder to hide them,"
"You say you do this outta love," should be "You say you do this out of love,"
"Its hard to say this," should be "It's hard to say this,"

These are just a few spelling errors. Trust me, if it wasn't for spell-check my spelling would be wrong every other word. But this is a beautifully written poem. Make sure to keep up the great writing!

-Incohesive Scribbles

Dear Bambi,

This piece was very interesting and heart touching. I was able to see a scene and a movie going on in my mind while reading the poem. I would like to say that if this poem is about you; than you can always message me to vent or ask for advice. Now let us get to the pros and cons.

Cons: There were a few spelling and grammar mistakes, but nothing major at all.

¨All ways looked forward to see you smile¨ I believe that this line could be reworded so that it flows much better and I discovere one small spelling error. So here is another way that you could write it.
¨Always looking forward to see you smile¨ I know that you used the word ¨looked¨ because it was past tense, but I have discovered that there is no reason to write this line in past tense due to the switch in feeling after the next line.

¨Now theirs bitterness in the air¨ Okay these line is perfect when read aloud or when hearing it and not reading it, but the word ¨theirs¨ is not the correct version of the word. The version you used shows possession. The correct version in this case is there's. So reworded the line would read, ¨Now there's bitterness in the air¨

There was a few more that I could have pointed out, but lets turn to the positive now.

Pros: Everything...... Okay let me be more specific. I felt like I was watching a movie in my head as I read this poem. There was love and hate; pain and happiness. The way it floated through my mind, made it so that I did not have to focus on the words or their meanings. So to be honest I had to read the poem 6 times before I could find any errors to point out.

Please continue writing these beautiful poems so that I can read and review them.
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Honestly Sincere
The Truth