I've never been great at making friends. Ever since kindergarten, I never had a good friendship. I don't know if I could say that I really even had a friend. Maybe acquaintances.
In kindergarten I did have a friend, one. I don't even remember her name, but I do remember her other friend. She didn't like me. They always played together, while I sat at the playground watching, doing nothing but looking at the other children.
After that I went to a different school, different peers. Each year I played with a different group. But was I their friend, they were mine. I didn't know, I still don't. I would hear them talking about birthday parties and hanging out, I never got any invitations. The only great, amazing friends I've had, the ones I would be proud to title my best friends, they either moved or we somehow drifted. The really bad ones stayed my friends for a while. I hated hanging out with them, all they did was text. Once one of them said, "If you're going to friends with her then I'm not going to be your friends anymore." Ha ha. At least I was smart enough not to listen, yet she was still my friend.
All of my friends in elementary school are not my friends now, yet most of them are still around.
But enough with the sadness. This is the story how I, Katelyn Hemmings, got a different life, one I never expected possible for me.
* * *
As I walk up to the front doors of the school, and get a glimpse of my bestie at our new locker. "Hi, Shay!" I called out. Shaylene smiled at me putting her things in our locker, but then I saw she was with another girl, and I immediately got uncomfortable. All of my friends always made new friends and forgot about me, always. But I hid my feelings behind my curtain of truth, and brought out my fake, 'Nice to meet you' smile. It was never nice to meet them. "Hey Katelyn, this is..." Shay introduced. I had no idea what she said, but it sounded like Ruby so I'm going to go with it. It just means I have to avoid this girl for the rest of my life.
The rest of my year went like this, I made new friends, lost old friends. It was normal.
Next year, I realized that I still had the new friends made, I was still usually second choice and everything, but I felt excepted. I belonged.
That eighth grade year I finally knew for a fact who my best friend was, someone who'll be there with me forever. And her name was, Alycia Green.
Actually, Alycia was one of the friends that drifted from me. I don't even know what happened.
On day we were at school together, she started saying how she missed hanging out with me. That was one of the happiest days of my life.
After that we walked to school, walked home to school, hung out together. And no matter how long we are away from each other, we'll always be friends. Sure we are different, but we don't are. Alycia and I understand each other, and that makes us both happy.
"No stop it!" Alycia yelled. We having a Twilight marathon, something I was very reluctant to participate in. But I finally gave in.
"I'm sorry Jacob, but I love Edward." I was talking in my beautiful, mocking voice. Laughing at the most serious moments. "But I love you Bella." Alycia got mad at me, "No talking when Jacob doesn't have a shirt on, no talking when he is even present."
"Goodness, child!" Sometimes I think she is totally ridiculous, but she's my best friend. I was so happy to come to this realization. And the good part of it all, not really though, is that she didn't have a great childhood either. We needed each other, and I knew we wouldn't separate.
I had other friends too. They were amazing and I wouldn't bet that they'd leave me, those people were true friends.
I finally have the life that I want. Sure it will never be perfect and sometimes I still feel like an underdog, I kind of am. Although I feel wanted and I know that my friends need me, I help them. I know now true friendship, and I share it with everyone, even when people never gave it to me.
Finally I'm truly happy.
I know now that those who lack friends should not give up, for if they just continue to be themselves, the right person will find them.
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140,073 Literary Works • 673,000 Reviews
Hey there, my review will probably focus more on the characters in a short way since i cant type much more on my tablet but ill help as much as possible
Now at the bottom you state something very true.it may take longer than someone would like to finally achieve a real friendship. The third to last paragraph didnt really flow well to me I'd suggest you change that to something like this
"I dont think my other friends would leave me, theyre the truest friends there can be." That would flow a tiny bit better into the paragraph.
Now as i was reading i think there was a bit of twilight involved but i couldnt tell since you didnt really tell the reader that it was a debate on twilight (if it was twilight)
Otherwise this is a very relateable short story and it does have potential ill end up coming back and posting a long comment on the grammatical errors since i cant get to them right now
Hello there! Really liked your story and the authenticity. The premise of the story is great and has so potential, and I truly enjoyed reading this. Let's get a few nitpicks out of the way first, and please don't take them personally. These are simply suggestions below
"Ever since kindergarten, I never had a good friendship." change to: "...I've never had a true/real friendship."
"In kindergarten I did have a friend, one." This doesn't make sense, grammatically. Change to "I did have one friend in kindergarten," or "In kindergarten, I did have one friend."
"...while I sat at the playground watching, doing nothing but looking at the other children." I'd change this to "...while I sat around at the playground, only following the eyes of other children," or something of this nature. You have to jazz up a sentence here or there to keep the reader engaged, because not all of your sentences are as descriptive as they could be. I hope this doesn't sound too harsh, I just wanted to tell you my opinion. Otherwise, the storyline is good so far!!
"All of my friends in elementary school are not my friends now, yet most of them are still around." This is worded a bit awkwardly. I'd change it to "I no longer friends with any of the students I went to elementary school with, but most of them are still around." Cut out the yet, because it doesn't make much sense. You could probably cut out the whole "but most of them are still around" after the comma, really, and end it there.
"But enough with the sadness. This is the story how I, Katelyn Hemmings, got a different life, one I never expected possible for me." Let's remove the "but" here. So, instead, "Enough with the sadness. This is the story of how I, Katelyn Hemmings, made a new life for myself- one I never thought was possible."
(By the way, let's just pause so I can ask, are you a fan of 5sos??? Sorry- had to ask XD)
"As I walk up to the front doors of the school, and get a glimpse of my bestie at our new locker." Okay, again, I don't want to sound harsh. I just don't like the term "bestie." It makes the work sound juvenile, and it's nothing personal. I just don't like "bestie" used in literature. I would cut this out if I were you and change it to "best friend."
"And her name was, Alycia Green." You don't need any commas here.
Okay, you get the point with my nitpicks. I don't want to come off as harsh, because this is a wonderful story. It's about finding yourself and finding your best friend, which is a beautiful part of life.
Sorry, my computer acted weird before I could finish the review! I just wanted to say, I really loved the idea of your story. I felt this way until high school- like I never had a TRUE friend. I like the meaning you employ in this story. Don't take my nitpicks to heart, because that's just technical stuff. I hope you do take into consideration though.
Happy writing
Kali Lennon
Hi! Thank you so much on your review. By the way I don't mind nitpicking, it helps me know what writers think, and when you're a writer reading is so much more meaningful. I will use some of your suggestions, they will my work better. Thanks again.
- B. E. Writer
Hey, BEwriter! Artemis28 here for the last few hours of Review Day! Go Team Tardis!
So, let's begin. "I", here, should be "I've". "I" doesn't sound right.
"Ever since kindergarten, I never had a good friendship."
That was all I found! Wow, this story was amazing. I know how it feels to be in the friendzone after one of your friends kind of drops you off for another. My friend's in another class with one of her other friends, and throughout the year we've kind of drifted apart. We have maintained a relationship, but not as strong as it used to be. Ah well, it's part of life.
Good job on this work! I really liked it and it was terrific. Keep writing and never stop, BEwriter!
-Artemis28, member of Team Tardis
That strikes me as weird they'd forget a name. I can't name everyone I went to kindergarten with, but I remember a handful, or at least the ones I was friends with x_x Leaving it out because of irrelevancy is fine, I guess.
I get what you're going for, but this is worded oddly. It sounds like the line of the main villain from a big action movie.
The message is realistic and relate-able. The main character is lead by a strong, emotional narrative which adds to the finesse of this piece.
One thing you could've done better is actually introduce Alycia Green. I would've liked to known how she met her best friend, but instead it just came all of a sudden. Like "All these years, I've had no friends but wait I have one now her name is Alycia Green and we watch Twilight together!" A scene where they meet would've been great.
The modest sorry leading up to the solemnly happy ending is really powerful. Good story, I hope to see you upload more.
Hello there mate,
Nire here for a real quick review. The thing that attracted me and pulled me here to read your story was the little description you've got (If you know what I mean.)
So, this is the story of Katelyn. I liked how she talked about her friends which I can relate to personally, I don't know about other people. If you ask me who are friends to me, trust me, i don't have a good answer for that. For me, friends were confusing or I was confusing for them. So, as a result i never have been able to keep my friends and surprisingly, i don't even regret
For me friends come and go and a lot of people won't agree with me. But, what you've said in your story, the message you've tried to convey, is great. It's about the hope one should always have. So, i thank you for that. I think it'd be great if you could give us a clearer picture of the situation. Like, how the girl was neglected or felt that way. How she found her new best friend etc. i mean more detailed information.
So, that's all. I enjoyed it.
Hi! Storygirl95 dropping by for a review!
First off, I really appreciate that you have posted this.
Friends are something that people take for granted, as if it doesn't occur to them they could not have any. I, like you, never really had any good friends in elementary school. Nor did I have good ones in middle school. Even the person I thought was my best friend in high school wasn't, in actuality, a good best friend. We haven't spoken since I've gone to college. It's hard to be alone in a time where you're growing up and all you want is some stability and someone who understands you.
I think as we're aging, we forget sometimes to look out for other too. A lot of people are so wrapped up in their own lives they forget that others exist too.
I've had all kinds of friends. The friend by association. The friend who hates you but doesn't leave because that's social exile essentially. The friend who pretends to be friends, but really takes advantage of you. The friend that practically doesn't exist, they're always somewhere else. Worst of all, the potential candidate for a friend that always leans on you for support as friends should, but in your time of need is of no help at all. Human relationships are about compromise and giving back what you receive. This, despite seeming like common sense, does not appear to be well known.
Anyway, I apologize for the rambling. I've never had a conversation like this with someone before. The concept of not having a best friend since Kindergarten seems foreign to them.
I'm very glad you've found the right person for you. I finally found a good friend in college, and I agree, it's like a rush of pure euphoria. I love spending time with her and she loves it too, and she's dramatically increased my levels of happiness.
Shhhhh, don't talk with the Jacob lol. I will admit that I have made fun of Twilight too, and bothered my friends.
Honestly, I liked Taylor Lautner more in Sharkboy and Lavagirl than in Twilight haha. I guess that's just how it is.
I don't have many critiques. You're writing style is smooth, and easy to follow. You evoke a sense of connection with the reader, and it really makes you ore credible. I think even someone who had never had the experience of lacking friends could empathize here.
I only had two things, from the same sentence. I know it may sound nitpicky, but when you say, "They always played together, while I sat at the big toy watching, doing nothing but watching the other children" I think using the word watching twice is a bit redundant. Also, I was curious as to what the "big toy" was. A playground structure? An actual large toy? One of those cool robotic horse things that rides around? Just curious. Anyway, as is always the case with any review, it's up to you if you feel like you want to change anything. I'm just here to offer an opinion.
Overall, this was a beautiful piece that resounded with me strongly, perhaps because of my past experiences. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. For a shorter piece, it packs quite the punch.
Thanks for letting me read this, and have a good evening!
Keep writing!
Thank you so much! I was a little hesitant to post this, but I can I say that I'm glad I did. I am very glad that you found a good friend, too.
- B.E. Writer