The ball is kicking off like wild fire, but I’m so bored. Everyone is chatting amongst each so content and carefree, but I don’t see how they can. We just had a wasp swarm over us, yet every Frey is brushing it off their shoulders and getting on with this stupid event, but I cannot. It happened so quickly, and I believe the guards are keeping an eye on things. I am too; I’m near a window, watching the sky. It just happened so quickly with the time, I need to see what will happen next out there. However, as I’m doing this, I’m starting to get stares of insanity at me, which doesn’t make any sense. How can they do this while I’m protecting them?
I protect the Frey from harm, but they expect me to be some princess. I don’t want to be a princess, it’s too cliché for me. It’s the same routine each day, I wake up, I get greeted with dozens of gowns, I go out to say hello to the people, I come home, I get bombarded with questions about how my day was, then for the rest of the day I have ‘duties’ to do with Tinsel. It’s the same thing day in and day out for me and my sister, which is why I decided to change things a little. I broke the rules about who I am, and I decided to go with being a warrior. Father always yells at me for it, but I’ll take my chances.
I sigh, noticing that Hugo had left me for a minute. Strange, where is he? He is supposed to be keeping me company, but alas though, he isn’t. I glance around the room, pointing out my Lady In Waiting, holding three drinks on a tray. Minx is always doing things stuff like that, always doing her job as my Lady In Waiting. Hospitality happens to be what she is good at, so it’s no surprise to me when she’s a professional when it comes to caring drinks and stuff like that. At least she understands what I mean by doing what you want; she chose to do this for the rest of her life. I have no idea why though.
She comes up to me, handing me a drink, “There you go, Mistress. I thought you looked pashed, so I got you this.”
I nod, taking a sip. It’s my favourite, Rose Nectar. I nod, “Thanks…”
“You’re very welcome! I also got one for Hugo, but it’s seems that he had disappeared somewhere…” She looked around, “I’m sure he’ll be back soon, Mistress.”
I nod, “Let’s see if he comes back alive…”
“What?!”
I laugh, “It was a joke, Minx!” I sigh, “This ball is so boring…”
She sighs, taking her drink off the tray, “If it makes you feel any better, I do not like it either. Plus, your sister, Redia, is beginning to become a pain to me…”
Now this got me interested, “How so?”
“Well, unlike you, she just demands too much than anyone can give her. I’m not her Lady In Waiting, yet she expects me to come to her aid.” She takes a sip from her cup, “What a stupid female…”
“Really? I thought I was worse, considering that I break the rules of the entire kingdom and stuff…”
She shakes her head furiously, “Even though you tend to break the laws here, a least you have a friendly personality and don’t brush people off, Mistress! She doesn’t even have any manners towards us commoners!”
I sigh, “Yeah, but she’s always like that…” I notice a dark figure in the corner of my eye. I glance towards it, “Who’s that?”
“Who’s who, Mistress?” She looks where I’m looking, only chuckling, “Are you seeing things again, Mistress?”
“No! I could’ve sworn that I saw something!”
She walks off, handing me the tray, “Call me if you need anything, Neon!”
That figure in the corner is really starting to get on my nerves. It appears to be a Pixie like me; however this Frey seems to hold a darker aura than the other Frey in this room. The Frey wears dark clothing over itself as well, covering everything but the face. A smirk appears across the face, sending shivers down my spine. Who is this guy?
The lights dim down, as I’m being dragged towards the centre of the ballroom. I notice that it’s my Father’s hand, strangely enough, dragging me there. My eyes question, but he states that I need to give a speech about how this ‘grand day’ has affected the future of Tinsel. How am I going to do this though? What good has happened to me right now? In fact, what good has happened on this day? None, that’s what.
I’m led towards the stair case of the ballroom, someone handing me a microphone. My father pushes towards the crowd, and he announces that this land has its benefits and stuff like that. Once he is finished, he introduces me and steps back, motioning me to talk.
I sigh, and I look towards the Frey. Their waiting faces hold pride and something that I can’t get my finger on. I sigh, and begin, “My people of Tinsel, many of you have your theories and say that this place needs more of a good time and less of protecting and warriors. But you don’t see, while you’re having a good time in this lovely season, the warriors and I are protecting you without realising it.” I got confused faces and an annoyed grunt of my name from my Father. However, I’m determined to get this out there, “I understand your confusion, heck I’m confused in why I’m talking to you all, but I want to get this across to you. You, as Frey, are aware of the weird things that have been happening. However, instead of hiding, I’m protecting you, I’m a warrior.”
“NEON, ENOUGH.” My Father barks from behind me.
“No, by all means, continue, my niece.” A familiar voice states.
I turn towards the voice, seeing the dark figure approach me. He takes off his long cloak, revealing who his is. My eyes widen as the man laughs. I gulp, “Zemcarla…”
My uncle, Zemcarla, the ruler of the West, is right before us.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Here to review once again!
My name is Omniyus (You probably know this very well by now.) Well, I am going to yeview your piece of work because madmen are holding guns to me and my family and are telling me to review your piece of work or we all die. So in a way, if you didn't post this, then an innocent family would have been killed.
All kidding aside, it's time to get to work!
I like how at the beginning, everyone around her is having fun, she is completely angry. Then she justifies her grumpiness by saying she is doing the greater good. Got to love those kind of people.
One thing that kind of caught me off guard(Besides the huge cliffhanger at the end) was that her father actually allowed her to continue with the majority of the speech from the very beginning. In royal settings, the children usually have to do everything every superior figure tells them to, and if they don't, then they get stopped in their tracks. Although her father told her to stop, it seemed to me that it was too late for him to do so. I don't think, in real life, that if she was to start talking lie that, then her father would have stopped her right away.
It goes along with the story, though, which is fine. Just understand that that usually isn't how it goes.
Other than that, this chapter was short, quick to the point, and very good. It was the best chapter, in my opinion, yet. I am itching to find out about her uncle since he has been introdused.
Thanks
Omniyus
*laughs* Thank you for reviewing my works!
Hello there again! I'm back to review the fourth chapter!
Now this is getting interesting, we're finally at the ball! Now not that I really mind, but I would rather that you got to the ball much earlier. It seems to me now that I've read the earlier chapters that they aren't really needed. The earlier chapters were somehow a routine of Neon's daily routine. Now that I know was to bring out the character of Neon and her firm mindset of how boring she thought her life was and how she longed to be a warrior. It certainly helped to etch it in my mind but some parts in the previous chapters were not needed.
Now on to this chapter itself. I like that you start off with Neon being bored with all the royalty surrounding her. From the first chapter you have been implanting that idea in the readers minds and it certainly does help in doing so. The few paragraphs there really show Neon's boredom in the place and her desire to escape.
Now this dialogue is interesting. It reveals Redia's character without her actually being there! Now I don't know if Redia's going to be a major character in this story either but I'm definitely interested in her now! Her character is that of a haughty royalty, one that expects her every wish to come true. It's a total contrast from Neon's character and it leaves me thinking who the antagonist will be...
The last paragraph is the best among them all, it's Neon revealing to the kingdom about her actual desire, and that creates conflict with her father, only for her uncle to appear sort of to her rescue. One thing though is why she mentioned being a warrior when all along she was just DREAMING of being one and not actually BEING one. Maybe edit the statements a little to change the perspective. Also she makes a pretty mature speech whilst in other chapters she was quite child like. It would probably fit more if you made her speech to be how a child talks too.
The cliffhanger was great, and I liked the last sentence. I see that this story is becoming more exciting now and I'm looking forward to future chapters.
Hope my review helped!
It did and thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it! XD