Revolution

I would love to know if this poem was inspired by some actual graffiti, or just some thoughts about city life. It made me think of one of the shows I like to watch Mr. Robot, that takes place in New York I think, and is a little apocalyptic. The main character also wears a black hoodie and his followers wear masks, so I totally had that in my mind when reading.

You capture the idea of both city-grunge and defiance. Graffiti is definitely an interesting image because it's so two-sided. For the recipient, it's a crime, it's vandalism, it can be an act of intimidation and even rhetorical violence. For the artist, it might be a means of political activism or expression, a connection to a gang, or just messing around. I think it'd be interesting if you described the graffiti in your poem a bit more - even if it's fictional - it'd be neat to see what imagery word-choices you would make to paint that picture for the reader!

I like the juxtaposition of "heart" and "inner city" too - because like graffiti those two can also feel at odds.

In stanza 2, I think "twisted" might have the wrong connotation, because twisted can mean sort of immoral, or can just mean ironic. Although it also might visually evoke graffiti - so I have mixed thoughts on that word choice. Yeah, overall I like the sort of yin-yang picture you're recreating - graffiti is definitely complex in whether it's "good" or "bad" and your poem engages some of that, which can maybe challenge readers to think about it in new way. I had no problems with the capitalization, though I noticed you were very heavy with the commas & punctuation in stanza two, but had none in stanza one. I'm not sure if that was supposed to be an intentional contrast - but I almost wonder if a period or comma after "failed" might flow better?

As with your last poem, I'd really be interested in what you would do with a longer poem - this touches on such a complex subject, and I feel like the poem is just dipping into it!

It's a quick and interesting read! Keep on writing (especially poetry!!)! Let me know if you had any questions about my review Tuck.

- alliyah

Happy Review Day to You!

This is a really good poem. The "blood-spattered graffiti" and the "story of a people failed" lines really bring out the poor state of the "rebels." Indeed, blood stained artwork does indicate an upcoming revolution. The "black hoods and masks" however do make me wonder about the integrity of the generation getting ready to fight back. Please do write more.

Hello!

It is a wonderful poem. I like the flow of the writing. Your idea and message is clear, which is important. You give a vivid image on what you want to send over to the reader. The worn-down city is immediately pictured.Overall great job!

You've presented an interesting perspective. Cool how it looks into the reality of things. I also like how the world revolution does not show up in the poem, but as that appears to be your title, it places the shadow of the thought in your mind so that you realize what is going on in the writing.

Hi, Tuckster!

I really love how this tells a story and paints a very real picture of the grungy city. You only focus on the graffiti artists, and you smoothly apply a narrative behind the art. It sets the tone for a very exciting portrait. Honestly, it's one of those tiny snapshots that tells 1000 words!

This pieces starts out so strongly with such vivid imagery. You immediately set the tone for this narrative with the simple "blood-splattered graffiti." Awesome phrasing there, and continuing to lead me down into the darkest parts of the city. The setting alone is powerful for this narrative.

tells a story of a people failed

but in a strange and twisted way,

a promise that this new generation,
veiled in black hoods and masks,
will rise up and reclaim their city.