Young Writers Society

Hello! first of all id like to say that I really really really like this. I love the ominous feeling it gives and as someone who loves horror, I can truly appreciate that feeling of unease. Your imagery is amazing and truly horrific. But there are a few things I would suggest, you to try. when I write a poetry piece, I use quite a bit of spacing so it increases the feeling of unease. for example, every comma in "Every scream, every touch, causes me to scream, to cry, to cower." you would space it as a new paragraph. it might not be for you but i encourage you to try it! keep writing my dude

Hey there, Ashley602338, CocoaCat here with a short review!
I'm going to start off with grammar and placing issues (which there are very few of).
At the beginning of each new paragraph there is almost always a space before the words. It is normally two spaces, I believe. I understand that this could have just been a choice that fit with what you wanted to relay through this piece.
In the second paragraph...

"And I scream until I can scream no more,and I cower in the corner chained to the cruel stone wall of my fear."

...there should be a space after the comma.
Just giving my suggestions, though this piece is pretty good already. With just a few more tweaks, it could reach it's peak potential.
That's all for me, keep writing!

Thanks for sharing this poem about perceptions that harass the perceiver until life becomes a living nightmare. It is written in a very effective and dramatic way that made me feel the urgency of the speaker's situation as well as his need to resign himself to what he perceives as his inevitable fate, a life assaled by hallucinations.


Such hallucinations can be not just visual but also auditory but can involve all the senses. As a reader I could not help but think about the medicinal treatments that have succeeded in stopping such seemingly unstoppable hallucinations which can be caused by chemical imbalances of the brain induced by heredity or disease.

What are Hallucinations?
https://www.webmd.com/brain/what-are-hallucinations#1

The patient takes the medication and the hallucinations are gone. The patient stops taking the medicine and he starts hallucinating once more. So that is a solution that should be tried.

However, if indeed these things are paranormal in nature, then the only way to deal with them is to go to the creator for help in prayer. The point is not to throw up our hands and accept them as normal because they are not.



Punctuation suggestions

There are people watching me. There are people whispering and screamingly. There are people touching me, grabbing me, and I’m scared.

"Do not fear,"

Economy of Expression:

The walls from which the voices [come from.]
[emanate, emerge, surge, flow,]