Vanquishing the Past

Hey, Arzoo! clogs here to review!

I'll admit that I had to look up the word "apricity". Apparently it means "the warmth of the sun in winter". #themoreyouknow

Not that it's a bad thing to use good vocabulary, but since that seems to be an incredibly obscure word, you might want to consider removing it. It definitely interrupts the flow of your poem if readers have to stop and look it up. It also doesn't really add that much to the poem, since nothing about the sun is ever brought up again.

my heart felt as light as a feather,

"Light as a feather" is a very overused cliche. It doesn't make me feel anything, because I've heard it a million times elsewhere. Good imagery makes the reader look at something in a different way, and this didn't really do that.

my soul free from all the glum,

"Glum" doesn't work here, because it's an adjective. You used it as a noun. "Glumness" would be correct, but something tells me you were trying to fit the rhyme scheme.

Certainly, God gives you power to overcome.....

Three things here:

1. Time for a lesson in ellipses. Ellipses are meant to indicate either missing text or trailing off in dialogue. They aren't used correctly here, and I especially don't like their use because it's the end of the poem. It's like you're trailing off for no reason. Bottom line: remove the ellipses.

2. This line kinda seemed to come out of nowhere to me. Like before, you're talking about "we" in the first person, but then all of a sudden it's "God". Was God the other person in "we"? If so, then it's kinda weird to suddenly switch to third person to talk about him, because "we" implies that you're talking to him.

3. "Overcome" seems to be there just to fit the rhyme scheme, but it bugs me because it's just a verb without anything to take the action of it. Overcome what, exactly? That plus the incorrectly used ellipses give this poem a feeling of incompleteness.

Overall, I'd recommend talking a look at that line again.

The rhymes generally don't do much for me in this poem. They seem pretty forced. A general rule of thumb is that if you have to contort other words in a line in order to fit the rhyme, the rhyme is probably forced. For instance, using "glum" as a noun even though it's an adjective and not giving "overcome" a direct object. Yes, rules can be broken in poetry, but it should be to enhance the poem, not make it awkward for readers.

I guess I can say I didn't really like this poem all that much. However, don't be discouraged by this review! We all have room to improve, and that's what this review is meant to help you do. Keep on writing!