Hello, Archangel. I am here to provide you a review in honor of Review Day. Let's begin, shall we?
Overall Opinion
I enjoyed the action but the chapter itself seemed pretty vague. There was not much detail on the scene itself. It lacks imagery. It's hard to provide my opinion on this because of how short the chapter was. If this sounds harsh, I do apologize. I don't mean to.
Nitpicks and Stuff
In the matter of a few minutes, we pull into 'The Company's' main HQ.
What does the HQ look like on the inside? That would definitely be something your readers want to know if she is going to be there for a while.
'It's good to be home.'
Are you able to express more of how the character feels about being back at her old HQ?
Your character development is vague. I think this chapter to be tweaked and revised...
Other than that, I think @Evander pretty much explained everything.
Conclusion
I do understand that it's probably hard to write scenery and developing characters throughout a novel, but it's something that can help you become a better writer. I hope this review helps! And trust me, I am not attacking you. People get on me about my writing too. Keep up the great work! Can't wait for future chapters.
Keep writing ~
- Kanome
Points: 11482
Reviews: 351
Donate