Make me alive, give me the strength to feel
Because I have been craving sensation
And I need to know that something is real
And not some fiction of isolation.
And would you help me through being alive?
I have gone through the motions in my head
And realized that since you arrived,
The flowers at my window breathe again.
You feel like taking a breath of fresh air
After always having held it before
And I long to breathe again, to feel aware;
To not ache—wilted and broken—anymore.
Perhaps these are not words to be proud of
But I see a Beauty in you, in Love.
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Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,009 Literary Works • 672,839 Reviews
Hi! Sarah here to review.
This is a great poem, but the flow is off. When I read it, I can't realy focus on what is actually being said, because I have to reread the lines.
This caught me off guard. When I read it, it just didn't go with the flow of the poem. Instead, I would maybe say, "And of your love don't let me be deprived" or "And would you help keep my mind alive?" if you want to stay closer to what you line is currently.
So, that it the only thing I could find with the poem. I would go back through and reread it aloud to make sure there aren't any more hiccups in the flow. Overall, it was a great poem, and I enjoyed it immensely!
Keep writing!
HeThe flowers at my window breathe again.
You feel like taking a breath of fresh airThe flowers at my window breat
You feel like taking a breath of fresh airy Angie, it is siya here. I really liked your poem and the title is preety good . but i did not get the second part of it since i do not know what a sonnet is. What i loved the most about your poem is that it has quite a lot of big words not difficult just big. I liked that. Another good thing about your poem is that the way of writing is easy going, descriptive yet not boring. It drew my attention till the very end.
My favourite parts are
'And not some fiction of isolation.'
Good job keep it up i hope to see more from you. Please follow