Mr no-name
mourns his daughter's loss at Trinity
he buys her flowers at Autumn, he
rests them on the very steps and
watches them trampled- and die.
he leaves a bottle of Guinness
beside the flowers at night
as a quiet reminder to the human
race that drinking isn't alright
the bottle's been there for two
weeks now, it's filled with urine
and bile, no-name takes a
careful sip, every once in a while.
when no-name leaves the stairs
he reaches for a bottle of wine
and cries his sorry self to sleep
whilst watching shows about crime.
She's gone She's gone and only
dear old Jack who took her away,
is strong enough to keep her away.
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139,593 Literary Works • 672,612 Reviews
wow, i really liked your poem.it was good and really thought out:)
except i do think it should be 'right' instead of 'alright' overall i did
enjoy it. while reading through it i had vivid images and emotions. nice work
I like how the title is sort of part of the poem, first of all - of course you could just start reading thepoem at the first line, but you could also start as though the title is part of that first line.
Just to clarify, does he do this because his daughter was killed by a drunker driver? Anyway, I think the last line would feel a little more natural if you just said "drinking isn't right" instead of "alright."I like this stanza (although it's kind of gross). The imagery is great.
This line bugs me a little bit. I like knowing this about no-name, it characterizes him more, but I just feel like the way it's written is a bit awkward.
Also, the last stanza bothers me because after a whole poem of four line stanzas, you suddenly revert to three lines. It just doesn't feel complete.
However, overall this is a good poem. I like the story it tells.
~Blue