Naija Blues by AngerManagement — Poetry

Let me go back.
To my sun-soaked childhood.
To tears, my fears and despair. <-- that seems a bit werid, did you phrase it like that for effect? Because then it can be considered okay. Otherwise, I do not like it. And it only seems to help show how the fear affected you, IE you cannot speak right.
I would like to be me again.
Smiling for no reason.
Racing from chickens, goats and angry beggars.
Oh, please. Pretty please,
Thrust me into my former life.
Deviod of organised fun and dreariness.
But you can't because you are scared.

Scared of the men in black, <--- you fight aliens too?
maskless, fearless and ruthless. the repitition of less, is more or less annoying and less fun, that I'd hope for. do you get the LESSon? Sounds, annoying, eh?
They ravaged our home.
Stole our-your riches.
Destroyed the joy that once was.
But-
..................................
Just take me back-I'll give you ice cream.

... Where did the ice cream thing come from? That was a pretty weak uhh finish. If you, uhh, don't know what I uhhh mean... UHHHH...
From the way you spoke with emotion in the first stanza you end with practicly nothing. >.> Where did it go? I miss it. Take me back to the time where the poem had emotion. <-- sound farmiliar? That's practicly a trantrum, from before. Eh?

Finally, what's with the dotted line separation? Shouldn't you be using poetry strcuture to make it stand out like it should? With something, oh I don't know, like a line break? Lol.

Sorry for being a failure.
Good luck, keep writing.
Silented1.
PS, I do want some ice cream.

Naija Blues

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