Cloaked in a somber slate as dusk set,
stars entered into their shine
as evening became wet.
With throbbing heart I divined,
with gentle consent
the company of a Celandine.
I longed only to dare,
to what vivacity
could one blossom influence my affairs?
To what end is its mark on my story,
this sudden flair
that I cannot shun?
The chapter has yet to begun
and yet first sights strike me.
Curious how the tale repeats,
until flames of dawn wake from sleep,
the blooming heart you're own will keep.
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Canary word: Present
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
Happy review day!
This is just a really wonderful poem... Its short, yet holds more meaning than I can comprehend. Your vocabulary is perfect, and every piece falls into its place. I came with intentions of reviewing this works, but I find nothing wrong. Its perfect, and I must say that with the unique structure and just the way this is put together, I feel like you have potential to be a great poet someday.
This is only the second time I have read your work, and I was baffled both times by the beauty of your works and how you have every word fall into place without it being forced or having something to fix... Your an excellent poet. I most definitely look forward to reading more of your works in the future. In fact, you are so wonderful I might even follow you.
Keep writing! ~Tigerlilly
Hey there, AndrewRayne! I really like your style of writing. In a way, it has a short of Shakespeare-y sound to it (if that makes any sense whatsoever). I like your choice of wording as well. The title, "Tales of Celandine," looked interesting to me. I looked it up and saw it was a flower as well as a novel. I'm assuming this ties in with both of those things, and that there is symbolism. Flowers are pretty well known for their symbolism, after all. I liked the indentures as well, kind of added a certain flow and sense of writing to this piece.
One thing though: the last line, "you're own," it should be "your own." That was all I could find throughout the writing, and one mistake is pretty darn good.
I'd love to hear an explanation, if you have the time, of course ^-^
That's all I have to say. I really loved this piece! Keep writing! ~Prez. T
Short and really very good! As I said earlier, you have a natural talent of writing amazing poems.
The way you write titles are, again, something different and lovely! I really wish I had this talent of picking the right title for my poems! The title didn't even indicate that this is a romantic poem. Smart work there, dude.
The poem was really good. Looking at your vocabulary, I feel like I should become your student.
The word choice, punctuation, and grammar, everything seemed to be perfect the way it is (at least I think it's like that!). This is your fourth poem I am reading and believe me, I feel like you have a great potential to do something special in this world! This poem, although a bit short, was really good. I see you writing really long poems but this was good and short. Well done, once again.
The structure, again I would say, was unique and different from what we, people on YWS, have. It is really good and I have this feeling that I am gonna copy this type of structure the next time I write any poem.
Overall, an amazing piece this is. I really wanna read more of your stuff! Can't wait.
You flatter me hahaha. Thank you, I'm glad I could inspire such enthusiasm.
if you have any questions just ask. 