There is small consolation in the silence following death;
Like the solitude of lonesome wilds.
Dreadful questions asked blindly,
met with mute tokens of half appreciated apologies and
answers craved for false comfort.
We dwell in their illusions.
Wandering in the pristine of fatal stones,
we shudder at the ruin,
winters snow drifting into the voids between our arches.
Where rain still battered the hollow casement beneath -
We found sanctuary in the vacancy.
In the silence of doing nothing,
expect nothing.
Content with the sensation of cold as we let the fire die out.
Eradicate me second,
Angel who carries the only mortal bane.
I am here,
alone,
frightened,
and lost in pain.
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Hey AndrewRayne,
The poem seems lofty to me. Even the title is in itself a kind of paradox, and while, it's not incomprehensible, it reads almost too dense to enjoy. Too much ideas and not enough image or emotion.
I like the first line. It sets the mood well as a contemplation on a dark subject matter. The second line is where we get lost. Solitude and lonesome both mean the same thing, but what in this context is "wilds" ? Lonesome wild animals? Wilds, like trees or wilderness? There's a lack of specificity there. I mean, "pristine fatal stones" sounds pretty and sophisticated, but I don't care about them.
What are the dreadful questions, and who asks them? I ask these questions and I know they are not the point, or what is highlighted here, but I ask them because there's a lack of focus. I think part of the reason why is that we don't have much ground to stand on. Ground - we need physical things that we can touch and see and experience, otherwise we're just left with air and thoughts. Poetry needs to be more than just vague notions, it has to be an experience, and engaging in that experience starts first and foremost through our senses. I can sort of get the gist of that second stanza -- the answers craved for false comfort line, I do see there the speaker's experience with death in the trying to find answers and the struggling and frustration that comes with that. But why not just write it so? With more specificity, and with actual scenes and moments? It becomes inaccessible otherwise.
I hope this helps.
~ as always, Audy
Hello, Kanome here with a review.
This is a dark and depressing poem..
It makes me wonder how I would feel after my death comes around. It makes me wonder who would actually care or who would just be like "Meh". This poem tells about the reality of the world, just brings out a good life lesson to all the people whose life are carried out by society means.
I love the formatting in this poem. It's very creative. It isn't something I would do, but I like seeing other people's formatting on certain works like poems or lyrics.
You really bring out the imagery of this poem. Very well-detailed and informative.
I can't see nothing wrong with this poem at all! It flows well, and you get a well-thought description of a person's feelings after they pass away.
Other than that, this was truly amazing. You have great talent as a poet.
Keep up the great work.
I can't wait to read more.
Kanome
Thank you kindly.
It is appreciated and I hope you enjoy anything else you read from me. Thank you sincerely.
Man! You are born with some sort of a great talent (Or maybe Shakespeare gave you his talent, I suppose). It was truly amazing. I am glad no one reviewed it and I got a chance to do so and also read it.
The title of the poem "Silent Eulogy" was just really good. It kinda attracted me to read what you have written in it. Amazing work on writing the title. I really struggle to find the right title for my poems all the time.
The poem itself was really good. To be honest, the vocabulary used was really of some sort of a professional level and it gave you a really good touch to describe what you wanna say. Although not being short, the poem seemed to be of just the perfect size. The final stanza of the poem was really something, which I felt to be the best, was different. I really liked it!
The structure! Well, you are really smart, dude! I never saw such structure of a poem on here before. It was really something different and awesome! Well done, mate! I would give it 9/10 for this legendary piece of writing of yours.
Keep writing and good luck!
Haha, if only right? But I'll take the sentiment. Feel free to read the rest, I have another poem out just before this.