I internalize, analyze, doubt
Shut myself up before I have the chance to speak
I am an expanse of water stretching as far as the eye can see
My worst enemy
I contradict, inflict, perfectionism
Stereotype
A ditsy blond with blue eyes
A teenage girl with problems hoping to survive
I have one friend and can’t open up
A clam, a duct taped box, a vault
Books and words that mean nothing. Art crumpled, trash.
Self-doubt making my bones hallow, mind fragile, cursing myself for messing up.
I’ve been quiet so long I can’t speak, nothing comes out right
It’s all a lie
One wonders what reason there is not to die
I make excuses too myself. Apologies to everyone else.
But know when clarity comes sharp like a knife through the whirling dark night
Nobody cares as much as me
About a misspelled word, misspoken sentence, confused days, months
Nobody cares about the sadness, the tears, the envy
Introverted in the head, I’m an extrovert, opposition
Wondering where the blow came from and when it landed
This poem is an apology to myself
An explanation
Salutation
To the me that could never be
And a heart-felt plea
To the world in whole
See me
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,261 Literary Works • 674,331 Reviews
Hiiiii @AndName
.
Here to review your amazing work
Okay so first I want to start off with saying shoot. You are an amazing writer, like truly amazing. I can tell you that I see this, I can imagine this. I can see who you are easy because of how you describe yourself. This poem is straight-up filled with so much emotion and different ones at that. I feel sadness and happiness. I can say I never really understand everything said in poems because that's not really how my brain works I guess. Either way, I understand as much as I can. What I got from this is that you are quiet even though you don't want to be. You are both an extrovert and introvert depending on the situation and what is happening. You are a kind person who cares maybe too much.
Not to make this about me (even though I am making it about me). Literally I relate so much to everything I got out of this poem. I can't even describe how close this is to me. I keep my mouth shut, I never talk to people about my problems or things. I am talkative but I keep it inside my head because of the fear of losing someone I love. I can't tell you how many times I apologize for things my friends have done wrong to me. Like I apologize to them.
*anyway* back to your poem.
I feel like I know you like I've known you for a really long time. I'm not sure why but that's how great you described your life and who you are. Just you are a freaken great writer! like better than a lot of people. Please keep up the amazing work
Grammar/ any other criticism -- literally none.
_From your friend,
@PlainandSimple _
Please, Keep writing <3
I'm smiling so freaking big. I don't think anyone's told me I was a straight up great writer
Thank you so much! And when I was reading your work and I was like, "Woah. This person understands!" But I reined myself in cause I'm afraid of coming across as weird XD. I would NEVER ask a random stranger who I do not know to be my friend otherwise. I think that part of me is a big theme in this poem/portrait and why I feel like I can't really reach out cause I think of what others might think if I do something strange. That sentence doesn't make much sense lol.
Thank you so much!!! *continues smiling and also explodes glitter*
Friend,
AndName
I totally understand where your coming from, because sometimes I feel like I'll lose a reader if I say something like not normal. I don't know
. Also, I mean you are an amazing writer, I'm so surprised you've never heard someone call you that before!
<3 @PlainandSimple
lol. I don't get out much
I don't really share my work to much cause I take criticism so badly. (Part of the reason I apologize after most reviews I do.) Also, I noticed how many reviews YOU have done and goodness. I've been on this site for a couple of months with my minuscule 29 and look at you! 
Lol, I also don't like criticism much when my work is in its final stage and I thought it was completely edited. It makes me think I wasted my time. And yes! I have done a lot, but the gain was from review day. I was bored so I decided to participate.
Also, I don't get out much now that I'm in college. There is not much going on so that's why.
<3
Ah! I totally agree with that even though It's a tad bit different. And sooooo sorry about taking your spot! I actually felt bad for writing such short reviews just to help out. Oh well though.
<3
Lol, don't feel bad. I'll take it back in no time! *cackles like a evil witch* A lot of the time my reviews aren't as long as I'd want both cause it makes me so long and sometimes it's hard to find things to point out. I think it's better than the opposite though. I once received a review and I started reading it. And reading it. It was so long and through my brains were pouring out of my ears lol. Review days are like the Olympics, I think. The competition is fierce and bloodthirsty
From what I can tell, you slaughtered the competition XD
Yeah, your so right. Like some reviews are tooooooo long (especially if it's all bad things) unless the reviews are good things then I'm fine
. When I write a short review though I always feel bad because I know they expect more but there is no more to say. Also thank you! Andddd you can think your gonna take it back but who knows!
Most of my reviews I worry sound too unprofessional. I'm like THERE IS NO WRONG IN WRITE and stuff like that (just come up with that one.) I think I laid the cheesy motivational stuff heavy on one of the reviews I did for you. And exclamation points. I just really get exited reading and writing
I worry that I don't sound like a serious writer or something like a lot of people here somehow pull off. Anyway, you said you were writing a book? Tell me about the bookdom! (Or not if you're paranoid i'm a thief who'll steal the idea and sell it for millions which I will admit I worry about more than I'm willing to say.)
I sound so unprofessional in like every review. The only reason I write professionally in my writing is because of all the editing (as you know). I also get super excited when I write or read other people's work, not sure why lol. And let me tell you, writing a book is super hard. Like writing on a website like this is hard because anyone can read your story, but writing a book is 10 times harder. ( I am a little worried about people stealing my ideas so I'll just give a brief summary) So basically my book is about the lives of teenagers around certain things (such as being around drugs, divorce, and abuse). I mean I've been through like a lot of that so I know a lot about how it leaves teenagers feeling. I mean that may not sound that interesting but I think it's good so far. You may be asking why it's so hard -- that is because I can't have people edit it until I'm done. Also, I have to finish the whole book before I can send it to a publisher. I guess it's a lot of stress, and occasionally I don't know what to write next.
I have written 254 pages so far, and I'm not really close to finishing. So It's going to be a longggg book.
I definitely feel your pain. Book writing like trying to walk up hill when there is no uphill. I've somehow pantsed my way through two of them (No story structure, just writing) and i'm now trying a third. On that one i'm at pg. 92-3 writing three pgs. a day which I discovered works for me to get my butt to the computer XD. I write about teens learning about themselves and unexplainable things like underground cold war bomb testing centers with thousands of people mysteriously locked inside
(my last book) Right now i'm working on the story of three teens in a Texas small town where suddenly they can't be seen (all the teens in the town) because the adults just see their judgments of them and not who they really are. Which sounds surprisingly put together like that verses the tornado in my head :/
Holy crap. Jesus! That is such an amazing idea! I believe you're going to go far with that book. I mean like I said before you are an amazing writer and like that sounds like a hard book to write. I enjoy the purpose of your soon to be book, that really sounds amazing. With your other books though, have you got them published? Or are they just sitting around? And sorry I forgot you have written a book, I remember you telling me a little about it before. I was talking to you like you didn't know
sorry.
Truely your short definition of your book really has me intrigued! I think it would be liked by a lot of people because lost of people can relate.
<3
For a long time I thought I was the only of my kind out there but then I found this place so I don't feel quite so alone anymore
As for my two books (1st one titled Traveler, the other Forever in the Tunnels) I have not tried to publish them nor do I think I ever will. I love them with all my heart but I don't think they're really publishing material. I like to think of Traveler as me learning the ropes and in the Tunnels as figuring out if the ropes are sturdy enough to rely on. As for this current one, I can come up with any number of other excuses XD
And as a battle hardened veteran, I look back with nostalgia to the trenches of first bookdom!
Aha! Yeah, I understand that. I've written almost 6 books (kind of, they aren't finished nor will they ever be) and like they all really suck. This is my first book that actually has a good start and beginning. Making the book-writing journey together! I mean okay yeah you are a lot younger than I expected, so I am really surprised you have written (almost) 3 books! You sound so sophisticated. And hey someday you'll be old enough to go to the writing club and then you'll probably be like 'This isn't what I expected'. Anyway how have you been?
**My Thoughts**
Hey @AndName! LZ here with a review! I really liked this poem! I don't think I've read a poem on this topic, so that was cool. There were a few spelling errors.
**Formatting and Grammar/Spelling**
As for formatting, it was OK. I can see why you didn't separate this poem into stanzas, but I would have preferred a bit more organization. Besides that, I think the formatting was fine! For the last line, I would give it a bit more umph. Maybe italize it or bold it!
There were a few things with grammar and spelling I noticed. One:
"Too" should have one "o". as in "to." The second sentence in this line sounded off. It just didn't sound write to me, it may to other people. Second:
I'm not sure if this is a mistake. It would make more sense to say "But, now, when clarity...".
**Punctuation and Capitalization**
For punctuation, I noticed some commas and periods dotted here and there. I would like to see full punctuation, but this poem looks fine without it. As for capitalization, thank you for capitalizing the first letter in every sentence! It helps this poem look neat.
**Quick Review**
This poem was good! You need to fix/change some things that did not look right, but otherwise, it was an excellent poem.
Keep on writing, this poem was good! Have a great rest of your Wednesday!
I love how described yourself, but there are some errors I caught like you used "too" instead of "to" in one line.
The Line, "I make excuses too myself," Should say "I make mistakes to myself,"
The Line, "One wonders what reason there is not to die" Should say "One wonder What reason is there not to die"
Other than those two grammatical errors that I saw and read, it hit me right in the heart because there are days that is how I feel. Thanks for sharing this.
Hello, I'll be reviewing this lovely work!
I'm going to start with the way you wrote your poem. I love poems that rhyme; that's my preference. The words fly so smoothly in my head, and it's even better when I speak it aloud. I don't stumble. It's easy to understand too. There aren't any words I couldn't understand. A lot of writers write long descriptive sentences that you need to read again to understand, but others write short and simple, and any person can know what's happening.
I don't see any grammatical errors, but I noticed one word that was out of place.
I think this was a typo, but hallow means make holy.
Lastly, this poem is very relatable. I've felt this way when I was in Elementary school because I had no friends, and I felt sad and jealous of my classmates.
Overall, you write beautifully. Great job!
Athena