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A poem about writing

by AndName


Calibri 16 pt. Font

That’s what I use for Pages

Paragraphs and Chapters as I Fly

Across the keyboard, fingertips sore

Like the time I played the 12 string

The screen brightness scaled just right and the lights

Turned on at night

Mouth Dry and tea glass Empty an Inconvenience

To Push through

The giddy run and stutter of my heart as I say what he said

To her

And we laugh together about a joke in my head

Little people exist on Paper and 1’s and 0’s

Pencil drawings and the hurried flow of marker Pen notes

Racing of Time as I close in to the goal

The last 20

World gone, the last Chapter

Last brilliant Idea

Sound unheard, just Drowned out

Frantic clacking of keys long since forgotten

Last Word, last Punctuation

Shift, Shift, Shift.

THE END in Bold

Sit back, frown at the Screen like it’s a

Broken Thing

Because the Story

Is

Over


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6 Reviews


Points: 412
Reviews: 6

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Tue Nov 05, 2019 3:04 pm
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abachmann says...



abachmann here!!

Wow this is really cool. I think what you did here is very smart. I think what your meaning here is how you feel that your story is alive and breathing. My favorite part of your story is the end, where you say

“Sit back, frown at the Screen like it’s a
Broken Thing
Because the Story
Is
Over”

I love that!!!

I have one tiny nitpick...
You added a lot of capital letters on the middle of sentences. Maybe this is intentional, maybe not!!
Other then that, I love this! It perfectly portrays being a author!! Amazing job!!

-abachmann




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6 Reviews


Points: 412
Reviews: 6

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Tue Nov 05, 2019 3:03 pm
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abachmann wrote a review...



abachmann here!!

Wow this is really cool. I think what you did here is very smart. I think what your meaning here is how you feel that your story is alive and breathing. My favorite part of your story is the end, where you say

“Sit back, frown at the Screen like it’s a
Broken Thing
Because the Story
Is
Over”

I love that!!!

I have one tiny nitpick...
You added a lot of capital letters on the middle of sentences. Maybe this is intentional, maybe not!!
Other then that, I love this! It perfectly portrays being a author!! Amazing job!!

-abachmann




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68 Reviews


Points: 3417
Reviews: 68

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Mon Nov 04, 2019 7:14 pm
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WinnyWriter wrote a review...



Hey, there! This was a fun poem to read. Nothing too serious exerts the reader's brain while taking in the beauty of this creative work, which is nice for a change. Now, I like serious poems myself, but this one is different - lighter and easier to grasp. It's a nice change.

I think it's cool how you've captured the joys and also some of the struggles of writing. You've shown the passion that the writer has as he/she puts their story into words. You also put in some personal touches that I really like, such as mentioning "Like the time I played the 12 string," and "Mouth dry and tea glass empty, an inconvenience to push through". It reflects your personality a little bit, but there's not so much of it in there that few others can relate, so it's a nice touch.

I think I have to agree with what's already been written on your use of the word "stutter." I get your point, but maybe something like "flutter" would indeed be a better choice.

I enjoyed this poem. :) Keep on writing! :) :)




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Sun Nov 03, 2019 9:41 pm
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Jay P. says...



I really like the this poem. It displays how much time and effort we put into our writing. This how it feels when you end a story that you put so much time and effort one. The long nights and sore fingers and hand cramps but its worth it in the end. It made me thing about how I put all lot of time into my story (its not done yet) but I its like we're talking with our characters even if they're not real.




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Sun Nov 03, 2019 3:57 pm
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KatjaDawn wrote a review...



Hey there AndName, Katja here to review your poem about writing. As with all of my reviews please feel free to disregard any and all comments or suggestions if you find them to be unhelpful. That being said, lets get into the review~

Overall Thoughts

I think this poem is VERY clever. That's why i couldn't resist reviewing even though you already had a few. Seeing as most of us here are writers, we can all *most likely* relate. I'll admit when i first read the, "Calibri 16 pt. Font-That’s what I use for Pages" really confused me and I thought for a second that you forgot to edit that out or something.... I feel pretty silly now to be totally honest!

My Favorite part was,

The screen brightness scaled just right and the lights

Turned on at night


I love how right, lights, and night all rhymed whether intentional or not. It felt very rhythmic and added a nice touch to your poem.


Sit back, frown at the Screen like it’s a

Broken Thing

Because the Story

Is

Over


And this is something most of us can relate to! :D

Suggestions

I have to admit, due to the style and grammar choices, which you clarified were intentional, I had a hard time picking anything to critique. So, here's what I came up with~

The giddy run and stutter of my heart


I feel like "stutter" is not fitting, perhaps flutter would sound better? It's hard for me to associate stuttering with a heart beat since the connotation immediately makes me think of stuttering in the aspect of speech... Just a thought.

Little people exist on Paper and 1’s and 0’s


I wasn't too sure what you meant by 1's and 0's?

Summary

I really liked you poem and it was really fitting for a website full of people who love writing! I loved the style above all and it matched well with the poem's inspiration. Well-done.

I hope my review was helpful and I look forward to reading more of your work soon,

~Katja




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17 Reviews


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Sun Nov 03, 2019 11:54 am
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erinr05 wrote a review...



I like this poem. It was a good idea that was written well.

The 8th/9th line was a bit confusing to read.

"Mouth Dry and tea glass Empty an Inconvenience

To Push through"

You could maybe use a comma, so it says "Empty, an Inconvenience", which I think would be easier to read.

My favourite section is:

"Last brilliant Idea

Sound unheard, just Drowned out

Frantic clacking of keys long since forgotten

Last Word, last Punctuation

Shift, Shift, Shift.

THE END in Bold "

I also really like the ending.
Thanks for writing :)




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Sun Nov 03, 2019 3:25 am
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EverLight wrote a review...



EverLight here with a review! This review is not intended to offend or hurt you or make your novel or poem seem bad, but be warned you may feel offended anyway.

First Impression
I love it!

Nitpicks & Grammar

In this sentence you forgot to combine the word in and to-

Racing of Time as I close in to the goal


In this sentence you have a mis-capitalized word-
Sit back, frown at the Screen like it’s a

The word screen doesn't need to be capitalized.
Other then those, you have no other nitpicks.

Style & Flow
Just one thing-your usage of capitalization threw me off, and interrupted the flow of this poem for me.

Overall you did an excellent job.

EverLight Out





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