The thing about dying is that it takes alot out of you.
In the movies, all the people that know they're going to die go bungee jumping and sky diving and climb Mt. Everest and fly to the moon and all sorts of other crazy shit like in that movie with Morgan Freeman, but that's really not how it is.
I don't know if it's like this for everyone, but I'm tired pretty much all the time. Even if I wanted to, I don't have the time, funds, or energy to go scuba diving or dragon slaying or whatever the hell these people do (I really don't know; I only just saw that Morgan Freeman movie).
There's another thing about dying. When you're given an expiration date, that's when it really hits you: I'm not invincible; I am going to fucking die. And it's crazy. But not scary, like most people think. No, I'm not afraid to die. I've accepted it's happening and I just try not to think about what might come after.
But enough of me trying to be deep (I suck at that), and back to the whole 'live life to the fullest, do a bunch of crazy bucket list shit'. I know I sound cynical, but yeah, I've got a bucket list. I wrote it the day I got diagnosed. Or rather, I dictated it and Harrison, my best friend, wrote it down. It was all sorts of stupid shit, the classics, like, 'Swim the Channel' and 'skydiving' and some more interesting ones that I'd rather not go into detail on.
And I did some of them, but then stopped, realizing how stupid it was, living my life based off a list, from a movie- and let's face it, my life isn't a movie. It should be, but it's not. Plus, I was doing things everyone did. I've never been a follower once in my life, and I'm not about to start. And if I've only got so long to live, I'm living it as a fucking individual.
Harrison though, (and in case you forgot, he's my best friend) he's accepted it. He's not happy about it, but he's accepted it. He understands it's going to happen. He even asked me about it the other day, while we were sat in our tiny apartment. I had been typing on my laptop, and Harrison had been watching some special on CNN. I heard the sound go off on the TV and looked up.
"Jamie," Harrison said suddenly, "You know, your crap's all over the apartment."
"Yeah?" I glanced back down at the page I had pulled up. Staring at the screen was starting to give me a headache. "So's yours."
"Yeah... but, I mean, what do you want me to do with it when..." He didn't finish his sentence, and he didn't need to. I knew exactly what he meant.
"Oh," was all I said at first. "I hadn't thought about that. Donate it maybe? Or give it to my sister?"
He just nodded and let his gaze slide back to the television. I could tell he wasn't watching it and neither was I. Meaningless colors flashed on the screen.
"Why do you ask?"
"I don't know."
"Yeah, you do. Out with it."
"You're.... y'know, getting worse."
"I'm aware." Yesterday, I was stuck in bed for hours with a migraine. And if I don't have a headache, usually I'm puking my guts out, which is always fun. And if neither of those are happening, a miracle has occured.
Harris and I sit in silence for a few beats before he says:
"It's six months tommorow."
I drew in a sharp breath. Six months since my diagnosis. Six months gone. And when you've maybe got two years to live, six months is valuable time. I couldn't even speak. I knew if I opened my mouth I would start bawling.
"We should do something," Harris said, "cross something off the list."
I struggled to keep my voice level. "I gave up on that a long time ago."
"But I didn't," Harrison announced. "It's still on the fridge."
It's true. My bucket list is the shining star on our crappy refrigerator, stuck up there among doctor's notes and phone numbers, hung with a magnet shaped like an alligator. My list. Written on the back of a wrinkled yellow handout from a Bio class.
"Pick one you want to do," I told him.
So here I stand, or rather sit, today, doing something I told myself I would never do.
Number one on my list, the one I most wanted to do. And it's a stupid one too, but I've talked about doing it since I was a kid. Why it wasn't the first one we crossed off, I don't know, but now we're doing it.
"You ready?" Harrison asks, holding out his fist to me. I grin and bang my knuckles against his.
"Ready as I'll ever be."
We're lifted up into the air, higher and higher above the ocean, until all I can see is sparkling blue water and hotels off in the distance.
Maybe it's stupid, but sometimes a list is the best thing to go by.
I don't know, but I do know that sometimes, a little crazy and a little (alot) stupid is okay.
And I'm just with living my life like that.
A/N: This is from the point of view of a character from a novel I'm working on. I wrote the beginning awhile ago and loved it so much I reworked it and made it it's own story. Thank you for reading. (:
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128,955 Literary Works • 671,501 Reviews
Are you going to post a chapter of you're novel you're working on?
If so I'd like to read it.
Because
this
is
so
great!
-Joe
P.S now stalking (aka following) u
Thank you! I'm actually working on it now. It will be up soon!
Hey Ameliaday
You say that your not very good at being deep though that's just the character saying that.But you are very deep especially a15 year old and i like , how you tell it how it is and i felt for the character in your story and there pain. Really would like to see the story this charcter came from, though i rekon it would be a tear jerker.
Hi! This is my first review ever so this should be interesting.
I thoroughly enjoyed this writing very much, it's different to other pieces I've read. I found it intriguing and relatable since my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago. Reading this made me think about her and how important it was to live life to the fullest with a happy and healthy mind. I really liked how the ending was not sinister, instead it ended with a touch of light.
Normally, I find monologues boring but this was very appealing. The dialogue between the two characters was brilliant!
Kudos to you!
True
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, so thank you very much!
It is a very touching and emotional subject, but you handled it delicately and with great ease. I really like the way that the character has a monologue which isn't full of cliches, because that would be boring. Instead, they are talking in a very realistic way which I can identify with. I also felt like I knew the character because of the amount of small details you included, however these weren't over- used, which still leaves the reader intrigued about the rest of the story.
The ending was lovely because it ended on a fairly happy note, which is quite refreshing and different; rather than ending on the character's death, for example.
Keep on writing, well done!
Thank you so much!
Hello! Bloodink reviewing.
So...
'The thing about dying is that it takes alot out of you.' This opening line is interesting to say the least and it works in the sense that it makes the reader smile. It would suggest that you have a blunt sense of humour as a writer.
Um... you swear quite a bit in this piece. 'crazy shit like in that movie.' I don't meant to count, but you said shit about... 3 times in quick succession. I don't have a problem with cuss language, and it even sounds good. But like most things, only when used in moderation. If you overdo it, it loses effect. And I think that's what's happened here. Sorry.
Also, I'm not entirely sure what the purpose of this piece is? It made me laugh as opposed to think and I am almost sure that you are happy about getting this out of your system.
Yeah, I see what you mean. Thank you!
Good evening!
I will do you a lovely review sandwich.
Here to review your short story for this review day. I will be representing the ever present reds
First off, the things I did like;
“When you're given an expiration date, that's when it really hits you: I'm not invincible; I am going to fucking die.” - I loved this sentence. It's raw and totally hits home the point you are trying to make. Maybe if would be more effective if you opened with this?
The speech you use between the too boys is really natural. I can picture them sitting in the apartment having this very conversation. I find dialogue really difficult to do so I take my hat of to you my love!
And now for the not so likable;
“In the movies, all the people that know they're going to die go bungee jumping and sky diving and climb Mt. Everest and fly to the moon and all sorts of other crazy shit like in that movie with Morgan Freeman, but that's really not how it is.” - this is a REALLY long sentence. I think you could break it up to make it more reader friendly. Add a few more adjectives about the activities to lengthen the smaller sentences.
“but I'm tired pretty much all the time.” - I feel that this should be 'but I'm tired pretty much all of the time.'
I loved the concept of this! & I definitely think it has the potential to turn into something more. Please let me know if you decide to do this! Good luck!
Olive <3
Thank you so much!
Hello its joe to the reviewing rescue
Wow! That was heavy but really really good. I saw the bucket list too and I thought it was really good. Anyway great story, (dare I say Awesmazing). Truly great. It has so much emotion packed into it that its overflowing with emotion.
I love this part
"Why do you ask?"
"I don't know."
"Yeah, you do. Out with it."
"You're.... y'know, getting worse."
"I'm aware."
You can really tell how she's feeling there: Denial
I hade a fried with terminal cancer so I can relate to you.
Hope to hear from you soon
Joe
Thank you so much!!