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Young Writers Society



Why Try Walking … When You Can Dance

by AmayaStatham


Once there was a girl named Lisanne and she lived in Utrecht, the Netherlands. She was born with weak knees and legs because she suffers from neurological muscle disease, which rarely allowed her to walk properly. Lisanne's life was a challenge from the beginning because her illness made her the target of bullies.

She had to carry herself with the help of crutches and the walls of the school. She tried to keep up with the kids in her class, but they were also not as big of a difference as the neighbouring girls.

**

Katherine said, " Oh Lisa do you need help." Lisanne was very happy, the most popular girl in her class wanted to help her and be friends. She got a great feeling, she could finally join in, she thought. Lisanne nodded and Katherine joined her and pushed the crutches away. Lisanne thought Katherine would hold her maybe, but they didn't move a toe further. Lisanne lost her balance on her legs and fell down to the ground, scraping her knees ugly. "Like a donkey's cub, who can't even stay on his feet like that without help from mommy." Noticed Katherine.

**

After a while, Lisanne isolated herself from the world and stopped playing with the neighbourhood children.

One day Lisanne sat at the table with her parents and played with her food. Completely lost in thought, she listened to the laughter of the neighbouring girls playing with their dolls. Her mother had had enough and looked at her daughter's face beaming, "I want to belong."

That evening Lisanne's mother wrote a letter to one of the best ballet schools in the Netherlands, namely Codarts Rotterdam. After a week at supper she said to her daughter, Lisa, tomorrow after school you will go to ballet class. Lisanne was dumbfounded, she thought her mother was joking or just saying it to make her feel better.

The next day after school they did not drive home, but directly to the ballet school. There she enrolled Lisanne in one of the best ballet schools. The news spread through town like wildfire, and many could not help but laugh at the thought of Lisanne taking up ballet with her weak legs. The majority doubted her abilities and thought ballet was only for people blessed with grace and strength.

On her first day at ballet school, Lisanne entered, supported by her mother, her heart pounding with both joy and anticipation. Whispers and giggles filled the air, leaving Lisanne doubting herself. Her mother wore a beaming smile, her eyes twinkling. The ballet teacher, Miss Nara, greeted her warmly and introduced her to the other students.

Under the guidance of Miss Nara, Lisanne began the countless obstacles she had to overcome. Each pirouette was strengthened by her weakened legs. But Lisanne didn't let that stop her. As the music began to play, Lisanne's heart soared. She watched in awe as the other girls jumped and turned with grace and elegance. Her eyes followed every movement, trying to take in every detail. Lisanne was determined to prove that, she embraced the pain and persevered, she could find her place in the dance world.

Days became weeks and weeks became months. Lisanne practised with heart and soul. Every pain and stumble became fuel for her eternal fire. She practised tirelessly, often working late into the night. With each setback, Lisanne got back up and tried again. After a while, a new girl joined ballet class, Katherine.

Katherine, along with several other girls just acted horribly toward Lisanne. They kept bullying her and making her insecure of herself.

***

One of the nights when Miss Nara had excused herself to the restroom and it was already almost time to go home, Katherine started again. "What are you doing here Lisa, here is no school for ladies who need special guidance." As always, Lisanne tried not to be bothered by Katherine's nagging.

She took a deep breath and did her exercises as a finish to her dance and as an aid for her weak legs. "Lisa, it's not neat if you don't answer when someone is talking to you, you know that quite well anyway." Lisanne didn't move a fin. Katherine pushed her against her shoulders, "oops, didn't see you there." Lisanne had had enough and said, "Stop it Katherine." Katherine turned and said, "Oh so she can talk." Lisanne turned her eyes and tied her hair tighter, "This really isn't great what you are doing here."

Katherine walked up to her and said, "Do what you want, Lisa, but you are never going to be Swan princess. Never." Lisanne, "It's not my intention to become a Swan princess, I do ballet because I like it not because I have to." Katherine nudged her at her shoulders and Lisanne bounced back, but she remained standing. Her legs had gotten a little stronger from doing ballet, she didn't immediately collapse like spaghetti. "Swan princess is for girls with swan legs. Not for weak legs like you." Lisanne was pushed again and Katherine's words rushed through her heart like a spear, causing her to crash into the oil lamp and fall backwards, landing on her legs. The curtains of the ballet school caught fire and the fire spread rapidly on the wooden ceiling. Lisanne's legs were ripped open by the rusted edge of the lamp holder and it was bleeding. She tried to scramble to her feet, but she couldn't, because she didn't have her crutches handy.

Katherine was shocked and completely panicked by the fire. She took several steps backward. Lisanne cried out "Katherine, help me. Please. I can't get up." Katherine looked at the monstrous flames and screamed, "Someone! Help! There's fire here! Help!" Lisanne slid the lamp holder off her feet and the blood now flowed even more like running water. "Katherine, please." Said Lisanne.

Katherine looked at the burning stage Lisanne was lying on and ran away, Lisanne stayed behind.

*

After a while when the fire department and ambulance were there, they removed Miss Nara's body from the building and Lisanne's body was rushed to the hospital.

When Lisanne woke up, she heard the doctor give her parents a whole report on how her lungs just barely made it and that she damaged her legs terribly. The police came to her and said, "Lisanne Bakker, I believe the fire did not set itself. Do you have some suspects I should note." Lisanne saw through the glass of the room, Katherine was standing with her parents. Katherine turned toward her mother and took a baby from her. She cuddled her and smiled at her, then kissed her on the forehead. Katherine's little sister. They look so happy, she thought. Lisanne looked at the police and said, "No, I was just a little careless and tumbled into the lamp while practising." The police raised an eyebrow and said, "Okay, take care then, Miss Bakker."

Back home, her mother told her that Miss Nara had died in the fire. Lisanne felt terrible and told her mother that she didn't want to go to ballet anymore. She didn't feel she would make it. Her mother sat across from her on her bed and said, "Lisanne, I believe in you, that you can do it, and who cares if you become a Swan princess or not. The doctor also believes that your legs have gotten better and a little stronger, which is why you didn't get any broken bones when the lamp fell on you. Then comes the question, do you believe in yourself?"

This question made Lisanne look at herself differently, not just as the girl with the weak knees. She decided not to give up and after the ballet school was rebuilt went there again.

Slowly but surely, Lisanne's talent emerged. She had gained so much confidence and was no longer afraid of what people would say. Her movements became fluid and graceful, painting a story with every turn and jump. The other students, who had once laughed at her, were now speechless for her progress. Lisanne had found her calling and she was unstoppable.

She decided to have faith in herself.

**

After five years on the day of the ballet performance dawned and the theatre filled with anticipation and excitement. Lisanne, adorned in a beautiful tutu, stepped onto the stage. As the curtains went up, the audience watched in awe. Lisanne's movements transcended her physical limitations. Lisanne exceeded the expectations of anyone who had doubted her. It was there that she was crowned Swan princess. Her mother watched with pride and hugged her husband with joy and relief.

Katherine, who was wearing a red dress with a matching headband came up to her and said, "Hey Lisa. Look what I did five years ago and who I was, I've put behind me. I'm someone else now with a fresh start. Can you please forgive me?" Lisanne smiled and hugged her. Inside herself, she thanked Katherine, because Katherine had enabled her to gain her own self-confidence. "You deserve Swan Princess, not only because you dance so well, but because you have a pure heart." Katherine told her.

At that moment, Lisanne knew she had accomplished something remarkable. As applause echoed through the theatre, tears of joy streamed down her cheeks. A young girl with a similar condition approached Lisanne, her eyes glistening with new hope. She whispered, "How did you do it?" Lisanne knelt down and smiled warmly, her voice carrying the weight of her journey. "Why try walking," she whispered, "when you can dance? It is not our looks, our weaknesses that define us, but our perseverance and determination. If you have faith in yourself, you can achieve anything. People will always find something to say. Let yourself go wild and dance your way through life. "

The girl smiled and took the hand of her sister, who was wearing the same red headband as her, and left with bright hope for her future.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dear reader,

I would appreciate it if you could provide me with honest critique in your review


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972 Reviews


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Tue Sep 19, 2023 9:16 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...



I liked this story. Despite it all, Lisanne preserved. She has a really big heart, because I wouldn’t have kept quiet about what Katherine did.

Lisanne’s Mom is the best! She cared about her and wanted Lisanne to belong.

At least she finally found her place somewhere. Lisanne wasn’t entirely alone, in the very end.

I hope that you will have a wonderful and amazing day and night. Goodbye for now.




AmayaStatham says...


Thank you. Do you know who the little girl with her was at the end?





I did not. Thank you for telling me.



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Sat Aug 12, 2023 6:03 pm
foxmaster wrote a review...



Hey, foxmaster here for a review!
Well, this was a really interesting and powerful⚡ piece (In my opinion) and I loved how you described the emotions, but I feel like there were quite a few grammatical errors here, so I am here to fix them!
Grammatical errors

She was born with weak knees and legs because she suffers from neurological muscle disease, which rarely allowed her to walk properly.

first of all, I found that you accidentally put present-tense into what should be a past-tense story, here:
she suffers from a neuroglial muscle disease.

She tried to keep up with the kids in her class, but they were also not as big of a difference as the neighbouring girls.

I didn't really understand this sentence, so could you please help me out here?
Katherine said, " Oh Lisa do you need help."

That is a question, so you should add a question mark.
Lisanne was very happy, the most popular girl in her class wanted to help her and be friends. She got a great feeling, she could finally join in, she thought.

Here, in the first sentence, instead of a comma, I would add an exclamation mark, or something. In the second paragraph, I would italic the part where you write about her thoughts, and also, when she's thinking, I would change the first two "she" plural in the second sentence to "I" plural.
Her mother had had enough and looked at her daughter's face beaming, "I want to belong."

I would put, "I want you to belong," because here we can't really tell who's talking.
(Also, remember to start a new paragraph when there's dialogue!)
Lisa, tomorrow after school you will go to ballet class.

you forgot quotation marks here.
And that's about it on grammar!
Some thoughts
Overall, though, the part with the burning stage and Kathrene was well-written, and I found myself thinking how much of a jerk Kathrene was. I also thought that the ending was very nice, and overall, this was great!
-Foxmaster
(By the way, Wilbur's backstory from the overnight trip.......true story, I promise! Is out, if you'd want to review it :))




AmayaStatham says...


Hi,

I appreciate your critique, I will try and work on it.
Thank u for being honest!

See ya,
Rinisha



foxmaster says...


of course!



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Mon Aug 07, 2023 2:26 pm
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GengarIsBestBoy wrote a review...



Howdy hey! Gengar here to leave a review!

Aww, this is a very sweet and inspiring story! I like how it starts off with “once upon a time,” which makes it sound like a folktale or fairytale. I really like the nice message of never giving up and always having faith in yourself.

I think you could improve on the paragraph spacing. I think some of the paragraphs are too long, and can be broken up, such as this:

When Lisanne woke up, she heard the doctor give her parents a whole report on how her lungs just barely made it and that she damaged her legs terribly. The police came to her and said, "Lisanne Bakker, I believe the fire did not set itself. Do you have some suspects I should note." Lisanne saw through the glass of the room, Katherine was standing with her parents. Katherine turned toward her mother and took a baby from her. She cuddled her and smiled at her, then kissed her on the forehead. Katherine's little sister. They look so happy, she thought. Lisanne looked at the police and said, "No, I was just a little careless and tumbled into the lamp while practising." The police raised an eyebrow and said, "Okay, take care then, Miss Bakker."


Any time a character starts speaking, it should be a new paragraph.

I hope my review was helpful! Keep up the good work!

—GengarIsBestBoy




AmayaStatham says...


Hey there,

I am grateful for your critique, I will try and work on it.
Thank u for being honest!

See ya,
Rinisha



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Mon Aug 07, 2023 12:12 am
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ariah347 wrote a review...



This heartwarming and inspiring story took me on a journey of resilience, self-discovery, and finding strength in the face of adversity. It effectively portrays the theme of friendship and self-acceptance. Also, it touches on the harsh reality of bullying and how it can affect someone's confidence and self-esteem. The character development is commendable. I felt the journey of Lisanne.

I found how you weaved the plot, Lisanne's passion for ballet, her perseverance and her ability to rise above inspiring. The inclusion of Katherine's redemption arc adds depth, emphasizing the power of forgiveness and personal growth. The use of the ballet school and performance as a backdrop enhances the magical ambiance of the narrative.

The poetic prose and vivid descriptions of Lisanne's ballet performances drew me into the world of dance, making it easy to empathize with her journey. The pacing is well-balanced, allowing the story to unfold naturally and engaged me throughout.

Enjoyable read indeed! Wishing you well wherever you are in the world! ♡a





pain is that feeling when you are feeling hurt, but it never goes away leaving me hurt. oh it hurts.
— Dragonthorn