"It was about 4 in the morning, when sleeping Amari got a call on her cell. She woke up to Nicki Minaj Moment 4 Lyfe playing and looked at her clock to see the time. 4 FREAKING AM!!! she thought.
A: -groan- Mmm man who the hell is this waking me up at 4 in AM in the morning, I got to work tomorrow!!
K: Hey Mari, its Kass.
A: oh, hey. Hold up
Rustle-rustle, fall and crash, clink lamp click on, then rustle again.
A: Alright, what is it?
K: I don't know how I'm going to do it. I don't want to hurt him.
A: What the **** are you talking about?
K: MATTHEW!! IM DUMPING HIM FOR SEAN!
A: -sigh- Okay and?? I mean I saw this coming when you and him were caught making out. Yes, Shadow told me.
K: I don’t know, I mean Sean is so hot and-
A: Okay Kass, I don’t want to hear about your new boy toy okay? I don't care. I am sure you will figure something out, but don't forget that when you tell him, I will have to comfort him. SO PUT IT NICELY ok, now I got to work at the school today IN THREE FKING HOURS so go to sleep and don’t call me again. Will always be you best friend, Goodnight.
-CLICK-
NEXT DAY!!!!!!!
Later that day, Amari was working and talking to some of her coworkers when she got a text from Matthew wanting to know if she was ready so they could have their regular lunch. She had already gotten 17 other texts from her classmates talking about Kassi and Matthew's breakup. Abbey, one of her classmates, called her.
Abbey: Mari, Mari!! Did you hear about-
Abbey: Look tramp, I don’t care I already heard, you and a bunch of other people have already texted me about it! When you want to gossip, go call one of your groupies! Not me, how did you even get my number?
-Click-
And a text from Terrence. Guess he wants another ass whooping.
It was almost 12 when Matthew walked into the office and all her coworker did a double take. He had just got off work too, so he was still in his business suit.
"Amari, that’s who you’re going with?"
"Amari, Oh my God, he’s hot. You should totally-"."
"IF YOU ALL DON'T SHUT UP YOU WILL GET SHANKED, THINK I AM PLAYING!" Amari yelled at her gossiping coworkers and they backed away. Then she turned to Matt with a smile on her face.
"Hey Matty, I'm almost done then we can leave." He nodded and smiled at her coworkers he heard talking about him. They all fainted.
Great, just another boost to his ego, she though with a smirk.
She took a file out of a drawer, set it on her boss’ desk, grabbed her purse and jacket and motioned Matt that she was ready. He winked at her coworkers again and they fainted for the second time. Then they walked out and got into his car.
~To Be Continued~
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I really do like this story a lot despite the MANY,MANY,MANY,MANY, mistakes here. It's fun to read but doesn't really serve any purpose here to tell you the truth.
It would take a LONG time to correct mistakes...
HERE WE GO...
"It was about four in the morning, when sleeping Amari got a call on her cell. She woke up to Nicki Minaj Moment for Life playing and looked at her clock to see the time. 'FOUR FREAKING AM!',she thought.
(I am going to leave the dialogue in it's original format/correct errors)
A: -groan- Mmm,man who the hell is this waking me up at four AM in the morning? I got to work tomorrow!
K: Hey Mari, its Kass.
A: Oh, hey. Hold up.
Rustle-rustle, fall and crash, clink! Lamp clicks on, then rustle again.
A: Alright, what is it?
K: I don't know how I'm going to do it. I don't want to hurt him.
A: What the **** are you talking about?
K: Matthew! I'm dumping him for Sean!
A: -sigh- Okay and? I mean I saw this coming when you and him were caught making out... Yes, Shadow told me...
K: I don’t know, I mean Sean is so hot and-
A: Okay Kass, I don’t want to hear about your new boy toy okay? I don't care. I am sure you will figure something out, but don't forget that when you tell him, I will have to comfort him. I've put it nicely. Ok, now I got to work at the school today in three frickin' hours so go to sleep and don’t call me again. Will always be you best friend, Goodnight.
-CLICK-
The Next Day...
Later that day, Amari was working and talking to some of her coworkers when she got a text from Matthew wanting to know if she was ready so they could have their regular lunch. She had already gotten seventeen other texts from her classmates talking about Kassi and Matthew's breakup. Abbey, one of her classmates, called her.
Abbey: Mari, Mari! Did you hear about-
Abbey: Look tramp, I don’t care;I already heard, you and a bunch of other people have already texted me about it! When you want to gossip, go call one of your groupies! Not me, how did you even get my number?
-Click-
And a text from Terrence. Guess he wants another ass whooping.
It was almost 12 when Matthew walked into the office and all her coworkers did a double take. He had just got off work too, so he was still in his business suit.
"Amari, that’s who you’re going with?"
"Amari, Oh my God, he’s hot. You should totally-."
"IF YOU ALL DON'T SHUT UP YOU WILL GET SHANKED, THINK I AM PLAYING!" Amari yelled at her gossiping coworkers and they backed away. Then she turned to Matt with a smile on her face.
"Hey Matty, I'm almost done then we can leave." He nodded and smiled at her coworkers he heard talking about him. They all fainted.
Great, just another boost to his ego, she thought with a smirk.
She took a file out of a drawer, set it on her boss’ desk, grabbed her purse and jacket and motioned Matt that she was ready. He winked at her coworkers again and they fainted for the second time. Then they walked out and got into his car.
~To Be Continued~
Although I didn't correct everything,you should still work on having proper prose in your stories. Also want to talk to you about numbers. In stories, the best thing to do should be to word out the numbers i.e 3=three
That's it! But work hard I love your characters! They're really nice and funny and adorable!
Chapter 2<br />
<br />
It was about 4 in the morning, when sleeping Amari got a call on her cell. She woke up to Nicki Minaj Moment 4 Lyfe playing and looked at her clock to see the time. 4 FREAKING AM!!! she thought. <br />
<br />
A: -groan- Mmm man who the hell is this waking me up at 4 in AM in the morning, I got to work tomorrow!!<br />
<br />
K: Hey Mari, its Kass. <br />
<br />
A: oh, hey. Hold up<br />
<br />
Rustle-rustle, fall and crash, clink lamp click on, then rustle again.<br />
<br />
A: Alright, what is it? <br />
<br />
K: I don't know how I'm going to do it. I don't want to hurt him. <br />
<br />
A: What the fuck are you talking about?<br />
<br />
K: MATTHEW!! IM DUMPING HIM FOR SEAN!<br />
<br />
A: -sigh- Okay and?? I mean I saw this coming when you and him were caught making out. Yes, Shadow told me. <br />
<br />
K: I don’t know, I mean Sean is so hot and-<br />
<br />
A: Okay Kass, I don’t want to hear about your new boy toy okay? I don't care. I am sure you will figure something out, but don't forget that when you tell him, I will have to comfort him. SO PUT IT NICELY ok, now I got to work at the school today IN THREE FKING HOURS so go to sleep and don’t call me again. Will always be you best friend, Goodnight.<br />
<br />
-CLICK-<br />
<br />
NEXT DAY!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
Later that day, Amari was working and talking to some of her coworkers when she got a text from Matthew wanting to know if she was ready so they could have their regular lunch. She had already gotten 17 other texts from her classmates talking about Kassi and Matthew's breakup. Abbey, one of her classmates, called her.<br />
<br />
Abbey: Mari, Mari!! Did you hear about-<br />
<br />
Abbey: Look tramp, I don’t care I already heard, you and a bunch of other people have already texted me about it! When you want to gossip, go call one of your groupies! Not me, how did you even get my number?
<br />
<br />
-Click-<br />
<br />
And a text from Terrence. Guess he wants another ass whooping. <br />
<br />
It was almost 12 when Matthew walked into the office and all her coworker did a double take. He had just got off work too, so he was still in his business suit.<br />
<br />
"Amari, that’s who you’re going with?"<br />
<br />
"Amari, Oh my God, he’s hot. You should totally-"<br />
<br />
"IF YOU ALL DON'T SHUT UP YOU WILL GET SHANKED, THINK I AM PLAYING HOES!" Amari yelled at her gossiping coworkers and they backed away. Then she turned to Matt with a smile on her face.<br />
<br />
"Hey Matty, I'm almost done then we can leave." He nodded and smiled at her coworkers he heard talking about him. They all fainted.<br />
<br />
Great, just another boost to his ego, she though with a smirk.<br />
<br />
She took a file out of a drawer, set it on her boss’ desk, grabbed her purse and jacket and motioned Matt that she was ready. He winked at her coworkers again and they fainted for the second time. Then they walked out and got into his car.
<br />
Chapter 2<br />
<br />
It was about 4 in the morning, when sleeping Amari got a call on her cell. She woke up to Nicki Minaj Moment 4 Lyfe playing and looked at her clock to see the time. 4 FREAKING AM!!! she thought. <br />
<br />
A: -groan- Mmm man who the hell is this waking me up at 4 in AM in the morning, I got to work tomorrow!!<br />
<br />
K: Hey Mari, its Kass. <br />
<br />
A: oh, hey. Hold up<br />
<br />
Rustle-rustle, fall and crash, clink lamp click on, then rustle again.<br />
<br />
A: Alright, what is it? <br />
<br />
K: I don't know how I'm going to do it. I don't want to hurt him. <br />
<br />
A: What the fuck are you talking about?<br />
<br />
K: MATTHEW!! IM DUMPING HIM FOR SEAN!<br />
<br />
A: -sigh- Okay and?? I mean I saw this coming when you and him were caught making out. Yes, Shadow told me. <br />
<br />
K: I don’t know, I mean Sean is so hot and-<br />
<br />
A: Okay Kass, I don’t want to hear about your new boy toy okay? I don't care. I am sure you will figure something out, but don't forget that when you tell him, I will have to comfort him. SO PUT IT NICELY ok, now I got to work at the school today IN THREE FKING HOURS so go to sleep and don’t call me again. Will always be you best friend, Goodnight.<br />
<br />
-CLICK-<br />
<br />
NEXT DAY!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
Later that day, Amari was working and talking to some of her coworkers when she got a text from Matthew wanting to know if she was ready so they could have their regular lunch. She had already gotten 17 other texts from her classmates talking about Kassi and Matthew's breakup. Abbey, one of her classmates, called her.<br />
<br />
Abbey: Mari, Mari!! Did you hear about-<br />
<br />
Abbey: Look tramp, I don’t care I already heard, you and a bunch of other people have already texted me about it! When you want to gossip, go call one of your groupies! Not me, how did you even get my number?
<br />
<br />
-Click-<br />
<br />
And a text from Terrence. Guess he wants another ass whooping. <br />
<br />
It was almost 12 when Matthew walked into the office and all her coworker did a double take. He had just got off work too, so he was still in his business suit.<br />
<br />
"Amari, that’s who you’re going with?"<br />
<br />
"Amari, Oh my God, he’s hot. You should totally-"<br />
<br />
"IF YOU ALL DON'T SHUT UP YOU WILL GET SHANKED, THINK I AM PLAYING HOES!" Amari yelled at her gossiping coworkers and they backed away. Then she turned to Matt with a smile on her face.<br />
<br />
"Hey Matty, I'm almost done then we can leave." He nodded and smiled at her coworkers he heard talking about him. They all fainted.<br />
<br />
Great, just another boost to his ego, she though with a smirk.<br />
<br />
She took a file out of a drawer, set it on her boss’ desk, grabbed her purse and jacket and motioned Matt that she was ready. He winked at her coworkers again and they fainted for the second time. Then they walked out and got into his car.
<br />