Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
I actually edited this one. Hope it's fine. One quick explanation: this chapter continues to the chapter two, but actually doesn't take place right after it. I was so eager to write this down and I overlooked that. Thats why this is chapter x right now, as soons as the events the other characters live through are longer than one week, this chapter will get its numbler. But as I said, it is completely readable this way without any problem.
I'm sorry for the few swearing words, but please understand that Hashi is a grown up man who had even suffered a heavy blood loss which made him think like that.
Word count: 3.556
Hashi
Almost a week had passed since he got caught. They described his physical condition as critical, and moved him to the prison hospital. Truth be said, he was feeling as well as usual, maybe just a little bit more paralyzed.
He had never thought he would fail. If only he was able to beat the rage inside him, everything would have ended up differently. At least he managed to escort Fade to the city. He wasn’t caught. That wasn’t that far from the checkpoint anyway, and he had created enough commotion for Fade to sneak his way in.
That man actually seemed to be much more careful than Hashi was, so it was no surprise if he got in even on his own. Nothing is over until the rest of them get caught, though it was discouraging that he failed only few hours after the beginning of the assault. Anyway, Fade was supposed to unleash destruction upon the Fort soon enough; he wasn’t sure what was the purpose of the other group.
I hope you won’t give in to your rage, old man. Each one of the group were hurt immensely by the state, but he had always sympathized with Daston. The State have killed their loved ones, and left them alone in the world. But the rage already consumed you before. You knew your soul would be lost but you still gave in. I will pray for you, my friend.
Finally, after a week in hospital, when his physical condition was described as stable, soldiers came to take him away.
He wasn’t able to walk, but he felt his strength returning rapidly. His wounds were healing at the rate of something that wasn’t human. He remembered Eric. I hope you are home holding hands, kid. Grotesque as it is, fight with Eric was a lone star on a night sky to him. The enemy he had respected and prayed for, after so many years. After the assault on his school, he hadn’t been given an opportunity to be a man of a sword, until that very duel.
His right arm was in pain. His sword was taken away, and the arm didn’t seem to like it. I might have truly become the one with the sword. It is shame, for someone who is consumed by rage to achieve something of such a value. Forgive me, master.
He got chained to a wheelchair. “You will be judged for your sins right now”, one of the soldiers hatefully spited out; the man resembling a train with his broad shoulders and muscles that could have easily been made of steel.
They took him along the perfectly clean, white hallway. There were many doors aside, having the single window placed on the upper side. He wished he could see what was behind them, but they were way too high.
Hashi closed his eyes. Sometimes he would hear breathing from behind the doors. It seemed as if everyone waited for them to pass. Once, he was sure he heard painful groaning.
This is not where the experiments are taking places. Daston had never seen light for so many years, and yet all of these rooms have a window. He was still pretty sure they are inside the complex that was built into the mountain.
A lift finally appeared before them, after such a long ride. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed. Two soldiers took him inside, and pressed the first floor button.
These lifts were fun inventions. He never rode one before, but he heard they had them in capital. Even though, the ride was short so he concluded they only rose for a two or three levels.
Yet another clean room opened before them, but this one was significantly different; it was what he imagined business places to be. So much wooden details, walls covered with smooth wallpapers with strange patterns. A hall made to comfort a man. He decided that it must be the courtroom. After all, that’s where he is being taken to. They took him along this hall too.
Without much concentration, he could hear a noise of a people arguing. Debate was being held, and he was being taken towards it. They stopped before a large, two-winged door carved in a dark wood. In a moment, people inside became silent. The door was opened for them, and the soldiers took him in.
He would have been amazed by the look of the room if only he wasn’t to be sentenced inside. Right in front of him there was a path leading to the empty circle in the middle of the room. Next to the path were numerous seats; each one taken by a man or a woman. But there were three more levels of balconies that were filled up with crowd, who were all standing still, all watching him with unease. Judge was on a high seat in the middle of the room.
He felt the scared look turned into hate. He didn’t need to look to confirm it. Instead, he was fine looking right in front of him, without a fear, or hesitation. Whatever is to happen here, he is going to be sentenced. They will not break him either, whatever they do. In fact, he intended to do it the other way around.
There was a lot of staff inside the circle itself, guards being almost each of them, with the exception of two doctors. They seemed to have the complete medic kits with them.
Chances of him breaking free and hurting anyone in this room were near to zero. He didn’t have his sword, and well, his bones were still barely healed. That meant only one thing: he is the one to get hurt. Well, that had to be done, sooner or later. This is boring. Start torturing me already.
The wheelchairs stopped. Silence. Audience sitting down was unison.
“We have gathered here for the case of sentencing man named Hashi of the school Hāto”, the man sitting in the center, apparently the judge, was the one to say it.
This isn’t even trial. They are only here to see me sentenced.
“On the seventh day of March, I, Lord Chief Justice of the Fort Mountain and The State of Humanity, hereby open the case of Hashi of the Hāto. Case number 2354, on accusation of: escaping the purification squad at the school of Hāto …”, but the judge got interrupted by Hashi, laughing.
“You can accuse a man for escaping his own execution? You can’t hide your true intention with those pretty words. What was our crime?”
Judge stuttered for a second, but continued: “murdering twenty soldiers in service of The State in the Nation forest; invading the Nation forest; helping the renown criminal named Zwartz…”
They know nothing about Shael.
“shaking the piece of this very Nation, attacking The Fort Mountain, yet again murdering of two hundred and forty soldiers. I hereby officially name you as the enemy of The State, Hashi the Slaughterer, may the God have mercy upon your soul, for we shall not.”
”I am the slaughterer? Remember what you did to my brethren!” Hashi burst. Yet, he didn’t lose his calm, but there was no other way to say this.
“I shall allow the barbarian like yourself to act the way you do in the courtroom, for you cannot possibly know for anything better”, the judge was calm, “now assistant, bring me the Council of peace’s resolution about Hāto school, and the medical results.”
Hashi smiled satisfied. “While we wait you can order your dogs to start torturing me.”
Judge looked up from his papers but ignored him. The mass fussed up but calmed as soon as they saw judge’s reaction. Judge himself was a young man, in his late thirties, his hair was cut short and elegant, beard freshly shaved. He wore a long, black mantle.
He started reading out loud: “Medical report 167562: In the southern provinces, namely town of Aisburg, we found traces of flesh-eating bacteria named ‘Black abomination’. All of the contaminated people are the members of self-claimed group of Hāto, protectors of long lost ‘eastern tradition’, as they call it. We call for immediate purification of the location, since the cure for the disease does not exist and is out of our range of our possibilities. Unless burned down, this disease will kill us all.”
Judge continued:” This is signed by doctor Marcoh Launteren. Is that man present in the courtroom and ready to guarantee for the truthfulness of this research by his life and before God?”
“I am, Lord”, the man rose from the crowd, holding his right hand on his chest. It was a man in late forties, his hair full of grays. He wore glasses and suit. He didn’t dare to look at Hashi, and Hashi could barely look at him. But he saw that face and remembered it well.
It is the man who sealed our fate.
“Flesh eating disease? Bullshit. We were all healthy. And how come I’m still alive?” Hashi demanded. He knew well there was nothing he could do now to save his life, but the precious knowledge he is going to gather now is what he had to do. Revenge could wait.
“Please”, judge whispered to his helper, and the woman gave him a single paper. “Medical report number 976451: After examining Hashi the Slaughterer, we have discovered that he is also contaminated himself, though he is only a carrier of ‘Black abomination’. He will never suffer from it, but all of his descendents will be contaminated and openly spreading the disease.”
“It is all lies”, Hashi stated.
“Prove it”, judge was quick to answer.
I’m fighting on their ground. These words and numbers mean nothing, they are all lies. I wonder if this judge himself knows it or those were decisions far beyond his jurisdiction. He noticed judge’s short sneer. That bastard is in it too.
“Now that we have cleaned the name of The State before the Slaughterer, it’s time for him to do the same…”
“You have cleared the name of the state? Can I assure you that you are terribly wrong?”
“Go on, Hashi the Slaughterer.” Judge didn’t seem annoued, but Hashi never missed any of those short sneers.
“I have evidence that the school of Hāto was slaughtered for the other reasons.”
Commotion started over within the crowd. It was a very few of people who remained silent, one of them being doctor himself.
Hashi continued:”When these evidences are brought out, the very foundation of your precious State will be torn apart. And it will happen, me being imprisoned for life or not.”
Him and ‘Chief Justice’ exchanged the series of looks, but Hashi felt as an absolute winner. They couldn’t know for sure if he was bluffing or not.
“That is, if The State ever survives from the attack that is unfolding right now.”
Now, the discussion was just the same as it was while he was still approaching the room.
“Silence!” the judge’s voice stormed through the argument. They all had to obey. “Do you, the best this State has to offer, let yourself be shaken by the bluff of a single barbarian? Do not bring such a shame upon ourselves. We shall now proceed with the usual routine.”
“Mark my words, people of the nation”, dramatically Hashi added, though this time, they remained silent.
“Point one of the indictment!” Lord Chief Justice of the Fort Mountain and The State of Humanity almost yelled, “Escaping the purification squad. On the July 30, year of 1754, by the order of the Emperor himself, the cleaning of the southern provinces contaminated with the deadly disease ‘Black Abomination’ was unfolded. The careful, in-depth medical research was conducted prior to the resolution, and it discovered only the followers of Hāto school to be contaminated. There was no other option but to purify them all for the sake of citizens of the State. The accused one managed to escape the squad, thus exposing millions to what cannot be cured. For this crime, I sentence you with the hundred years of imprisonment.”
“Except for that such a medical research never existed.”
“But you can’t prove it doesn’t. And we can prove it does. Anything else?”
“Go on, Lord”, Hashi laughed. He had never really expected to see the sunlight ever again. In fact, he was eager to test his spirit against their tortures and experiments.
“With your permission, we can go further”, young judge answered him, “Point two of the indictment: murdering of the pursuing squad. On the day of January 19, year of 1755 the platoon of soldiers assigned to bring the missing one whose disease was threat to the mankind found his hideout. Hashi the Slaughterer somehow managed to murder every single soldier, whose bodies were never found again.”
“Then, how do you know they are dead? Maybe they joined me as apprentices”, Hashi laughed. Oh, they are certainly really, really dead.
“As expected of the barbarian, trying to provoke the Court. We shall just proceed with this. You have a chance to halve your punishment if you give us the location of where the bodies were buried. This way we can end the mourning of twenty families, and are willing to show the good will of The State to cooperate with even the worst of criminals, for the sake of their salvation.”
“Are you kidding me?” Hashi looked at the judge in disbelief.
The judge cleared his throat. “As it seems like the accused one won’t cooperate, I shall sentence him with one more hundred years in prison. As he is not able to live for that long, I will give permission to experiment on his flesh for the sake of curing ‘The Black Abomination’, to compensate.”
The people in the audience all nodded one by one.
“Point three of the indictment: invading the Nation forest. It is clear that the pursuing squad was slaughtered within the borders of the Nation forest. After the given incident, the accused had settled in there, severely wounding numerous soldiers trying to pass through. For the next ten years, safe passage through the Nation forest was impossible. That’s the origin of the point three. For this crime, you are sentenced with ten years of imprisonment.”
“How would you feel about someone entering your home uninvited? Their shoes were dirty too.” This mocking was nothing but a way to entertain himself a little. The true words he had spoken today in this courtroom will echo through The State far and wide.
“Point four of the indictment: cooperating with the criminal Zwartz to assault the Fort Mountain and bring the end to the beloved peace this Nation bears. Two hundred and forty men of The State were slain during the questioned action. Ladies and gentleman”, the judge stood up and spoke to the audience, “the severity of this crime is yet unknown to our beloved Nation. The Emperor himself mourns and our children are out there on the front lines defending our homeland, putting their lives at the stake. It took two hundred and forty lives to stop this criminal. If we still need evidence, I would request the weapon this man used to commit such a crime.”
My sword! His right hand pulsed when one of the guards brought the unsheathed sword to the judge.
“This, beloved citizens, cut through the very flesh of our Nation. But this is just a piece of metal, it can’t do nothing on its own. I request the true weapon as the evidence: The Slaughterer’s right hand.”
The audience gasped out of surprise, but soon they started clapping. Judge looked down on him proudly, smirking the way he knew. Hashi could do no less but to answer him with one smirk of his own.
I was ready for this the moment we entered this room.
Two guards unlocked the shackle on his right hand, while the third brought over the small table. Medics were carefully polishing their saw and needles. This will be such a bloody show. Hopefully the audience has the stomach for it. I wouldn’t like to get thrown up onto.
His hand was once again locked to the table. The guards clenched his arm so badly he thought his bones would break again. He couldn’t afford the thoughts of resistance.
Hashi locked his eyes onto the judge, while the medics were approaching. He will not give anyone the pleasure of seeing his pain.
Some women gasped when the saw cut into his skin. Naturally, his arm was bleeding everywhere, but the physical pain was not the immense one. Now, he will never be able to use a sword once again.
Yet he smiled to the judge. He smiled from the bottom of his heart.
He could no longer feel his right hand. Some people left the room with the sickness in their face when the whittling sound of saw rendering bone was heard.
Finally, they detached it. Due to the blood loss, his sight blurred but he knew he was strong enough to go through this conscious. The other medic started sewing his wound, and finally, bandaging it.
The judge took over the bloody hand, wrapped in white sheath: “This is what killed our people!”
Too exhausted to answer. Maybe he wasn’t as strong as he hoped to be.
Suddenly he noticed the four strangely familiar people sitting in the second row of the audience seats down here. It only took a few moments to realize: they where the parts of the ‘Purification squad’. The bastards dared to come to his trial.
The most familiar was the guy who shot Reyel. Hashi had never thought the face of this man was still in his memory, nor he had ever blamed a particular person for his friend’s death.
But there he was, looking him in the eyes, without fear, shame or regret.
The other had been two men, one black haired, in his official uniform, who hesitated to lock his eyes with Hashi’s. The other was bald, veteran soldier, and the third one a man with a sword cut over his face. That at least was the trait Hashi should have easily noticed. Who better knew the way a sword cut looked like? But I only see the fresh ones. No one lives to heal my cuts.
“My people… no, my children! I ask of you to allow me for a punishment as barbaric as this man is. And it is only for the sake of preventing this catastrophe spreading on like a wildfire. Give your approval for this man’s torture! We need the information on this attack on our Nation which is currently still in progress! You have seen this man’s resolve; he is not willing to cooperate.”
What a circus this is. I had never doubted, but now I know nobody else got caught.
The people argued yet again, almost yelling at each other. Yet, most of their reactions were nods of approval.
Four soldiers stood up and left the courtroom.
“It seems like the jury has given their approval. Concerning the point four of the indictment, I hereby sentence Hashi the Slaughterer of the school of Hāto for the life in prison. I also give my permission to freely research for the cure for ‘The Black Abomination’ and finally, to torture this man until he speaks of information needed to catch the criminal Zwartz and all of his accomplices.”
“Go on. You can do it right here, I don’t mind at all.”
Someone from the upper floor of the courtroom was watching him. He could never forget the feeling those eyes gave, so why would now be different?
Among the watchers, there was a man with eyes to drain the sunlight into nothing and hair dark as the wing of a thousand ravens.
Shael, you fucking bastard, what are you doing here.
He was in a nice, black suit most of the men present here were wearing. His eyes were fearless, as if trying to tell him something.
Yes Shael, I remember very well what you have told me. That I will most probably fail in this mission, and get captured. The odds were not in my favor. And those were the terms I have freely accepted.
But you have also told me you would come back to me. “Survive one year imprisoned, and I will set you free”, these were your exact words. Well you better be right Shael. I don’t want to rot in jail forever. I have more lives to take.
At least testing my will will be rather interesting.
As if he was actually able to hear his thoughts, Shael stood up and went into the darkness, disappearing from the room.
That bastard better come for me.
“Lord chief justice”, the medic-girl who sewn his flesh back together, “the accused seems to be losing consciousness.”
He nodded back to her.
“My brothers and sisters, today we imprisoned a monster. Our children shall soon breathe freely and without any concern, when we capture the rest last monsters in this world. May the light of Nation and love of the Emperor be with you. This trial is over.”
Good, I’m tired of this bullshit. See you soon, Shael.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hi Alchemist!
Me again for the final chapter of your novel! It will be awesome to be all caught up and I cannot wait. First things first though - you should really post some shorter chapters. The shorter they are the less overwhelming it will be to the reader and the more reviews you are likely to receive. That's just a little tip. Posting in parts would be nice!
I have to say, this was an interesting chapter. Hashi seems to be remorseful for not being able to hold in his anger, but he still seems to have rage towards the people of the state regardless of his previous mistakes. It also was very unnerving to see him with his hand removed and the way he was so blasé about it, making sure no one could see the agony he had to be in. What a strong man. But the prospect of facing torture in the future can't be too kind to him either, even though he does seem to have some hope that Shael will come for him in an year. A year is still a long time! And we can only hope that Shael will keep his word. I am curious to see if he will because that will show us what kind of person he is. I liked seeing this chapter from Hashi's point of view, and although there was still a lot of violence in this it was nicer to see some variation from the usual action scenes we have been getting.
I don't have too much to say for this chapter apart from nitpicks. What I would like to see a bit more of is description of everything. I think we should have a bit more description of the hospital he is in. I want to see what the place looks like from his perspective and what impression he gives him. Does he wonder what will happen to him and why he is still alive when he first wakes up? That is something which would be acceptable to do. Or maybe he will wake up knowing torture is evident and coming for him. I guess that at the beginning of the chapter it would be a good idea to see his emotions revolving that right now because later on he doesn't have time for emotions because he has to appear strong and resolute in all his decisions.
I also wanted a bit more description of the soldiers. We are always hearing about them dying, but we have no clue what kind of uniform they are wearing. We can't care about them too much because they are always faceless - so give them or even just one (maybe the one helping him into the wheelchair) some detail! Are the soldiers old or young innocent people? Are they strong or weak? Do they look soft and sympathetic for him, or have they been brainwashed into hard and emotionless men? We need to see this because it can tell us a lot more about what sort of system the state is running here as well. All these little details will add up.
Time for the nitpicks!
Here is the same issue as in the previous chapter. You need an 'a' before few.
I believe I also mentioned this before. The name of the person is not literally Judge, being a judge is simply a title. So it should always be 'the judge' and it shouldn't be capatilised.
At random times you seem to slip into present tense where it shouldn't be. All these 'is's should be made into was's.
Again, is needs to be was.
This sentence is awkwardly phrased, and can easily be corrected. My suggestion: The audience sat down in unison.
It should be 'a man'. Remember those little words you need in sentences to make them complete.
Slipping into present tense here... should be was!
This is a question, so it needs that question mark at the end and not a full stop!
I think this is all I have to say! I don't know if you will be updating this or not any time soon, but if you will be then let me know and I would be happy to read it and review future chapters as well.
Deanie x
Tnx for sticking with this Deanie! You have no idea how helpful your reviews are!
Somethings I couldn't have changed, like adding a pov other than Alice and Hashi so far, since the other characters are written like that. Also, I couldn't have skipped so much action at the beggining, since this story is a small flow experiment that I've tried, sometimes it might be awkard or a bit too much but in the end thats the way I intended it to be.
But apart from that which is intended, there are things I overlooked too, and you helped me locate them. I also intended this to be a tad more psychological work than it is now (what can I do, writing action sucked me in xD), but your feedback on Alice in one of the chapters was superhelpful (when you noticed she seemed emotionally invincible); while she should have been strong, she surely isn't invinicble.
Also, don't mind me not replying all the reviews, I'd rather not spam your notifications...
Well, I don't know how to thank you. If you ever, I really mean EVER need anyhting, feel free to spam me. ^^
"Shael, you fucking bastard, what are you doing here."
WHY, I AM TELLING YOU TO STOP BEING A SAUSAGE AND MAN UP. (Oh no, I did it again. I added useless stuff to someone elses chapter D: Sorry.)
This has been an entertaining chapter, although you did confuse me a little with the merged chapter thing. But thats probably just because I'm tired and half dead right now, so ignore that. Funny thing is, I did spot something interesting in your commentary...
"Hashi is a grown up man"
Instead of "grown up man" (Which sounds a little childish) I would use "grown man". And also...
HOW DARE YOU USE SO MANY CUSSWORDS! ITS WRONG AND YOU SHOULDNT CUSS! >:C. I HAVE PURPOSELY DECIDED TO IGNORE THE COMMENTARY ON THE TOP WARNING ME OF THIS LANGUAGE, AND WILL NOW PROCEED TO BE ANNOYING AND STUPID BY RANDOMLY RANTING AT YOU FOR MY OWN FOOLISHNESS!
Ok, now that I've been "That one jerk" Nobody else is allowed to do it. Honestly. XD. Anyways, great chapter! Is there a chapter "y" too? (IF you are a pokemon fan, you will understand. If not, I just made myself look like an idiot.)
And today, the monster you have imprisoned will dine upon the... roast beef and gravy.
Ok, I think i've made your page as random as I possibly could. Keep on writing!
TEAM ROCKET IS BLASTING OF AGAINNNNNN (But check out our new jetpacks thou)
Hello! So may main purpose here is to get your work out of the Green Room. Which I will do by getting in the spirit of Pokemon Day, but before then...
There isn't anything I can say that will make up a review length. I only found one thing wrong...
It just sounds a little repetitive with the two sides.
Everything else is PERFECT! I got to know your characters within one chapter, which means you've got some great character development going on there. And I love your writing style, it's easy to read yet grabs you and throws you into the clutches of the story.
So that's me done. Now let's get this out of the Green Room...
Spoiler
I wanna be the very best
Like no one ever was
To catch them is my real test
To train them is my cause
I will travel across the land
Searching far and wide
Each Pokemon to understand
The power that's inside
Pokemon gotta catch them all its you and me
I know it's my destiny
Pokemon, oh, you're my best friend
In a world we must defend
Pokemon, a heart so true
Our courage will pull us through
You teach me and I'll teach you
Pokemon, gotta catch 'em all
Every challenge along the way
With courage I will face
I will battle every day
To claim my rightful place
Come with me, the time is right
There's no better team
Arm in arm we'll win the fight
It's always been our dream!
POKEMON!