12+ Violence

Black Eyes Book 1: Chapter 7: The Magmalian Queen

I’m tellin’ you, man! Your eyes just went pure black! I think you even floated a little! Then BAM! In two seconds you made this… black ice! When it hit Rhino, it just swallowed him up! So black you couldn’t even see through it!”

“And then I blacked out,” Lex said, not sounding very enthused.

“Yeah, and this ‘Blade’ guy, he woke you up with this weird herb!”

“Unbelievable… This thing inside me…” Lex held his belly, trying to imagine a powerful demon spirit living inside him. “I finally get to use its power and I can’t remember a damn thing!”

“Damn, it was… I dunno, unreal!”

It was after hours of tiresome walking, with short breaks at infrequent intervals to rest a little, that they finally saw some sign of civilization again. There were a few small houses huddled together. Kyle rolled out his map, his face wrinkled and one eye squinting a bit. “This can’t be…” He approached what seemed to be a small village, which was unaccounted for on his trusty guide. “Hello there,” the swordsman greeted an old, sick-looking man, but the man ignored them – he didn’t even look at them. On further observance, they realized that the people in the little settlement were not only poor, barely able to afford the basic necessities of life, but most of them were seriously ill.

“Are you travellers?” a frail voice asked as a woman walked up to them slowly with a rod holding her up. There were no youngsters about it seemed, only sick old people. Quite a dismal place.

“Yes ma’am,” Kyle answered, “we’re heading to Magma Town. How far from here is it?”

“Magma Town…” the woman grumbled, and slowly walked away with her cane, which seemed at least as old as her.

“Kind sir,” Lex greeted another man, who seemed to be just reaching old age. He sat on a low stool with a stick in his right hand, and the same despondent look was on his face.

“Hello, young man,” he greeted, now looking like he was trying to offer a smile. But it seemed a smile had become difficult to produce.

“Are you… blind?” Lex asked, looking at the man’s grey eyes that didn’t quite focus on him.

“Yes, I am,” the man said, and his faint quarter smile seemed to disappear.

“We’re travellers,” Kyle told him.

“So you wish to find the great Magma Town then I suppose,” the man answered, with a slight snicker that wasn’t quite depicting happiness.

“Do you know where it is?”

“Just continue. It’s only a few miles north.”

“Thank you, sir.” Kyle said, and walked off.

“What is this place?” Lex asked the man in a whispery tone that showed the blind man his expression of wonder. After seconds of waiting, there was finally an answer.

“We were cast out from Magma Town…”

“Outcasts?” Lex asked in obvious concern.

“The great Magma Town… doesn’t welcome… everybody.” Kyle turned and looked back at the man. His words made Lex pity him, but it only fuelled Kyle’s hatred for Magma Town. Again, they looked around at the sick, old, poor, dying people. “Most of the outcasts migrate after being thrown out… Not everyone can. Unable to work or build, we few here take refuge at these shacks built by previous outcasts who now live in other lands, or who have…”

Kyle grabbed Lex’s collar fiercely, a look of fiery annoyance in his face. “What the hell’s the matter with you?!” he blasted, seeing that Lex’s eyes were moist with tears.

“How can they do this?!” Lex cried, trying to whisper.

“You leave that cryin’ shit to Clover, you hear me?!”

“Your brother is right, child,” the blind man said, his ears apt enough to hear them no matter how much they tried to keep their voices down. “Too many tears are wasted. Crying solves nothing.”

“Only action will,” Kyle came in. “Goodbye, old man. If you hear news about the fall of the great Magma Town, you’ll know you met the man who felled it with his sword.” A solid smile came upon the man’s face.

“You two stay alive and keep your will. Your tears will balance his fire so he doesn’t do anything too stupid. And your fire will give his tears purpose, and give him strength to fight for what he knows is right.”

Kyle smiled a little. “We’re off,” he said.

As they progressed, they passed scattered shacks housing more of the Magmalian outcasts. The sound of quickly approaching footsteps led the travellers to stop and turn around. Kyle nearly reached up for his sword. Just slowing to stop before them was a dark-skinned boy with blindingly brilliant white teeth. He was about Kyle’s height, and was heavily muscular. There was a look of mischief on his face, on his grin. “I’ve had my eyes on you two… Heading to Magma Town, are we?” His tattered clothes resembled those of the outcasts they saw before, but that was about all he had in common with them. He seemed healthy and energetic, and he was certainly not much older than they were. “What for? Think you can handle yourselves out there?”

“Listen, kid,” Kyle said in his usual tone, “we don’t have time for this. We’re on a mission here.”

“A mission, eh?!” the excited boy grinned even more widely. “What kinda mission?!”

“A rescue mission,” Lex told him.

“We’llbe on our way,” Kyle said, eying Lex, like he would later scold for talking too much.

“Chill out, man! What if I wanna help?!” The two looked at each other again.

“Why’d you wanna help us?” Kyle asked, a sceptical look of distrust on his face.

“Cause that’s what I do!” the boy said, “I’m a superhero! I save lives! The sun rises to worship my greatness, and the earth trembles when I clench my mighty fists!” Kyle hissed. Lex laughed a little, wondering if the boy just had an overactive imagination or he was mentally challenged. “Very well! I will show you my super power!” the boy blasted, clenching his fists. A look of real interest came up on Lex’s face, as he considered whether the boy really had some extraordinary ability. “But only if you are worthy to see it!”

Kyle hissed, and turned away from him. “You must first take me along, and trust me, then when the time is right, I will show you my strength!”

“Let’s go, Lex,” Kyle said, ignoring the boy.

“Come on, Kyle, look at it – what do we have to lose?” Lex considered. “We need all the help we can get!”

Kyle stopped for a moment, not looking back at them. “Whatever,” he said, not putting a strand of faith into the stranger, “if you slow us down or get in our way—”

“Ha! You make the right choice, brave soldier!” the boy yelled in excitement, “By the way, the name’s Mike!”

“Lex.”

“Kyle.”

“Then let’s go!” the boy said eagerly, “I’ll lead the way! Know this route like the back o’ m’ hand!” He took the lead quickly. “So who are we rescuing?! It’s a rescue mission, right?!”

“Mysister.”

“Your sis, eh? She a cutie?” the boy asked thoughtlessly. Kyle’s eyes reddened and he drew his sword quickly, making a fast and heavy swing at the boy. Mike jumped back quickly, still grinning, furthering Kyle’s annoyance of him. Lex grabbed Kyle as he tried to step toward the boy, who seemed to ignore Kyle’s seriousness.

“Relax, Kyle,” Lex tried to pacify. “Mike, filter your thoughts before you say anything to Kyle,” he warned the boy.

“Alright, alright!” Mike said, his hands in the air, “so where exactly is this girl we’re going after?” he asked, continuing to walk. Kyle recased his sword, still leering at Mike.

“The Magmalian Prison. We’re going to save an old lady too – a witch,” Lex answered him.

“Heheheh! Sounds like fun!”

“Don’t sound so excited!” Lex blasted, glancing at the silent Kyle, “It’s not some game… So you’re a superhero, eh? You must have some superpower, then,” Lex said, sounding a bit sceptical still.

“Well of course! What kinda hero has no superpower?!” Mike replied quickly. Kyle made another leering glance at the talkative boy.

“Well, I too have a superpower!” Lex said.

“Wow! Sounds great!”

“But you’ll have to show me yours first,” Lex negotiated.

“Thing is, my power only activates when I’m danger,” Mike said.

“How convenient,” Kyle muttered.

“You’ll see! You’ll both see just how strong I am! I will show you the power of my iron fist!” Kyle snickered a bit and shook his head.

“If you don’t get us straight to Magma Town in two hours you’ll, get the danger you need to show us that power of yours,” Kyle assured him. Lex laughed a little, though he knew Kyle wasn’t much of a joker.

“Well, I’m an Icemaker,” Lex introduced.

“Remember what happened the last time you blabbered about that to a stranger?” Kyle reminded.

“An Icemaker? All the way out here?!” Mike asked, sounding a little confused.

“Take a look,” Lex said, smiling smugly. Mike stopped and looked back at Lex with wide, glistening eyes. His heart raced with excitement and a huge grin rode upon his face. He looked in amazement at the iceball in Lex’s hands. Lex relaxed, and the sphere disappeared into a cool mist.

“Damn! That’s literally the coolest thing I’ve ever seen, man! Iceman! Ironman!” He turned to Kyle, who had no interest in their time wasting. “You have a superpower too?!” he asked, eyes wide in wonder and curiosity. Kyle drew his sword aggressively, pointing it at Mike’s neck.

“Kyle! Put that thing away!” Lex came in, grabbing Kyle’s sturdy wrist.

“Listen, kid, we don’t have time for foolin’ around,” Kyle made clear.

“Lex, his blood is on your hands if you make me kill him.” Mike stared at Kyle with a not so jolly expression, probably just noticing his seriousness.

“So…” Lex said, after quite a while of silence, trying to break the tension, “does every town have like a king or something?”

“Not really,” Mike answered, “each continent has a different fashion of government. Our continent, Libson, is probably the most divided of them all. Most continents are divided into far less, much larger provinces. As a matter of fact, in Notherland, which is much bigger than Libson, there is no division, just one government, one leader. This continent… it’s a joke! If even a smaller continent makes war with us, seeing our division, we’re liable to lose… Well, the Magmalian king claims he will unify the continent under him… He plans to wipe out the small, weak villages.”

“Like he wiped out Baiku…” Kyle said, memories of his mother and father flashing through his mind. The stern, cold look on his face made Mike change his mind about asking Kyle anything about Baiku.

Before Kyle had become furious with impatience, the infamously massive metal gates were just up ahead. It was apparent that beyond those massive gates sat a great province, no doubt, the province of Magma Town. Even from miles away, the massive stone wall that guarded the city, being almost the gate’s height right around, could be seen. Kyle looked on at the Magmalian guards, finely dressed in their impeccable uniform. They wore tightly fitted jet black leather trousers, each side decked with a thin bright red seam. Tucked neatly into their trousers were black tunics with shiny red buttons and a red strip across it that looked like a sash. The eight guards at the gate wore long swords cased in black sheaths. They each also wore a red beret, clear of blemish, with a black feather sticking out from it. Their blindingly shiny black boots looked heavy and uncomfortable, but definitely not bad-looking. Their leather pants tidily went down into them. “These soldiers are called the ‘guardians’,” Mike told them as they approached, “they dress a bit flashier than the regular soldiers, being the face of the city.” Kyle tried hard not to admire the men too much, but seeing them made him want to become a soldier even more – certainly not a Magmalian soldier though.

“Come to think of it, why’s such a massive city called Magma Town?” Lex asked.

“Heh. Long story that is,” Mike said, like he knew the whole history behind Magma Town’s name. “Now don’t let their pretty uniforms fool you. Under the glam is a strong mesh armour, coated by a layer of thin metal, and these men aren’t rookies to battle either.” Kyle looked over at Mike, wondering how he could possibly have known that much. One of the guards walked to meet the three travellers. As the soldier came closer, vivid images of Magmalians raiding his village, his home, flashed back through his mind. Suddenly, in movement he could hardly control, the boy flung his hand behind him to grab the handle of his sword, his teeth clenched and his eyes wide. Lex grabbed his friend’s wrist quickly, already beginning to fret, looking at the faces of the guards.

Kyle slowly lowered his hand. “Oh shit,” he muttered to himself, just realizing what he was doing. The man that was moving toward them stretched his hand out behind him, signalling to the others to remain where they were.

“It’s the general that is approaching,” Mike told Kyle, “the colour of their belts tell their rank.” Lex and Kyle had just noticed that while the approaching man wore a black belt, the others wore thin, dark-green belts. “A general joins the guards once a month I believe… You sure picked the wrong time to make a mistake like that.” Lex’s heart raced, though Mike didn’t sound afraid at all. Kyle prepared himself to start fighting. The approaching man looked like around fifty, and appeared to be a well fit, well capable, hardened soldier.

“General Ki,” the man greeted them, a seriously, militant look on his face. Though his facial hair was well groomed, the roughness and scars on him showed his experience, and Kyle knew that picking a fight with a man like him, even without the other guards lurking around, was a bad idea. Kyle noticed the man glance up at the handle of the sword he nearly grabbed from the sheath, and look back at him. “How much gold are you willing to pay to have me overlook your death sentence?” the man asked calmly. Without looking at his companions, Kyle slowly drew for his satchel and took out the little brown bag with the money they had left. The soldier grabbed the bag from the nervous boy, and made a glance down into it. He hissed, a dissatisfied look on his face. “You are afraid,” the general said, “yet you keep a stance ready for battle, and that look in your eyes… I can see you’d fight back instead of running away… You’re stifling your temper so your comrades won’t get hurt, but you hate men like me, who take bribes and burn villages to the ground. Still, you want to be a soldier, but one who will fight with honour, and for justice… Heheh… I used to see too many faces and eyes like yours. Nowadays, I’m seeing too many youngsters joining the force for the wrong reasons, for the reasons I did; money and power. And women. Heheheh! Stumble over hordes of fine chicks with this uniform every day…”

“What the hell’s the general ranting about out there?” one of the guards at the gate asked another in annoyance, “Didn’t he see the kid reaching for the blade on his back?”

“The general gets like this when he’s had a bit too much to drink the night before. So I’ve heard.”

“I’m telling’ you, kid,” the general continued. Kyle realized that the look on the man’s face wasn’t so dread after all, “it’s money and women day and night. And rum! Drank a barrel just last night.” The man snickered, like the drunkenness from his drinking was just seeping in. “You three, you’re good kids I see.” The general turned around. “Fly the gates and let them in!” he commanded.

Is this guy serious? Kyle wondered if this was all really happening.

Paved, bustling streets, massive buildings and complexes, horsemen and carriages everywhere, soldiers on patrol – Magma Town was no less grand that Kyle had imagined it. “We’re finally here,” Kyle muttered to himself.

“Wow… New York City has nothing on this place,” Lex said to himself, looking about.

“Where do we start?” Lex asked.

“Icemaker! Icemaker!”they heard a distant voice yelling. Lex knitted his brows and spun around quickly.

“There’s your answer,” Mike said, a smirk on his face, ready for whatever adventure awaited.

“Icemaker needed! Queen pays a thousand gold coins to see an Icemaker!” The three rushed toward the sound of the voice.

“Slow down!” Kyle blasted, grabbing on to them, “Remember how much trouble your power’s gotten us into thus far. Let’s not walk into a trap.”

They moved slowly toward the source of the announcement. A Magmalian soldier was mounted on a slowly-moving horse, yelling through a megaphone that stretched his voice across a large radius even through the busy, noisy town. “This looks far too suspicious,” Kyle said, dismissing the idea of approaching the soldier without thinking twice.

“You’re right,” Mike added, “once you’re a witch, an Icemaker, a Firemaker, if you have any ability of the bloodlines of the gods, you’re considered a threat to the state. It would indeed seem quite foolish to walk into such an obvious trap.”

“Sounds like a ‘but’ is coming,” Kyle said.

“Heh!” Mike’s face showed his thought of risk and adventure, even stupidity probably.

“Maybe walking into the trap is the best thing for us to do.”

“Are you insane?!” Kyle blasted.

“Mike, just what the hell are you thinking?” Lex asked, looking at the new expression of discovery and deep though on Kyle’s face.

“You two gonna clue me in or what?!”

“Clover is in the hands of the state. Getting captured is our best chance of finding her,” Kyle said. Mike’s smirk became more dominant, as Kyle had finally seen his thoughts.

“You’re right,” Lex said, still considering. “If they know I’m an Icemaker, they might take me to the prison where Clover is.”

“But then what?” Kyle asked, trying to plan things out, “How will we get out of prison with Clover? And how are we sure they’ll take us too?”

“You guys are thinking too much into this. If you plan it all out, you’ll take the fun out of it!” Mike complained, then rushed over to the soldier.

“Mike!” Kyle yelled, running after him.

“What’s all this fuss about this ‘Icemaker’?” Mike asked the man, a truly puzzled and concerned look on his face.

“Don’t know myself, lad,” the sweating, tired, annoyed-looking man answered. “The queen sent orders down the line that we should comb the streets for an Icemaker. I’m supposed to get a shit load o’ gold if I find him. She says she won’t hurt him, she just wants to help him with … something about some prophecy,” the man said, looking unsure and confused. Lex and Kyle eyed each other immediately.

So she’s following up the prophecy, Lex thought, she shouldn’t find it hard to have the one who will help me defeat Trium later on released, then. A huge smile came upon his face, like everything was suddenly solved. Plus I’ll get some kinda help from her, and if anyone can help me with money for my travels, I bet a filthy rich queen can, he thought.

“But what are the odds of me finding this damn Icemaker that might not even exist?” the man whined, as if he were about to quit, “I mean, there’re hundreds of soldiers crying their throats out for this Icemaker.”

“Well today’s your lucky day!” Lex cheered.

“That’s right!” Mike joined him. Before Kyle could speak, Lex was already brandishing an iceball.

Here I come, Clover, he thought, a confident smile on his face.

“You idiots!” Kyle blasted angrily.

“Gonna help us up or what, man?!” Mike asked the guard, “We three are the last Icemakers in our clan!” The soldier stared down at the sphere of ice within the Icemaker’s palms in disbelief. He shut his eyes tight and shook his head, looking again at the sphere that quickly disappeared into a white mist.

“These idiots,” Kyle muttered almost audibly, “I have no choice but to go along with it.”

“Won’t you help us up?” Lex asked.

The burdened horse carried the four men through the busy streets of the greatest province in Libson, creating quite a strange scene. The soldier wouldn’t dare to take the chance of asking another soldier to help him take them in at the risk of somehow ruining his strange stroke of luck and have someone steal away even a portion of his reward. After many miles of travel, they finally reached in view of the royal courts. Kyle and Lex gazed up at the royal tower, which wasn’t any great distance away; it was in the midst of a massive palace, acres of splendid gardens, orchards and mansions, guarded by a white wall thicker than the outer wall of the city. The difficult hill the horse had to climb to get near the palace hoisted them up to see the splendour of almost the entire estate. The young private rode up to the seven guards by the massive bronze gates with pride.

“What is this?!” the general there enquired, seemingly taken aback by the halting horse with four men riding it, the leader a low-ranked Magmalian solder.

“Goodday, sirs,” the Private greeted, a smug look of heroism and worth on his face, “I have completed the mission given to the Magmalian army by Her Majesty, the Royal Queen. I have here three Icemakers,” he reported in a boastful tone he couldn’t conceal.A menacing smile appeared on the General’s face immediately.

“All three of them?” he asked.

“Yes sir!”

The man looked at the three boys on the horse. “Dismount. All of you.” Mike, Lex, Kyle and the private jumped down from the horse. “Show me,” the soldier told them. Lex put his palms together, quickly summoning up ice energy. The soldiers behind the general watched in amazement, looks of definite awe and wonder on their faces. The general’s smirk only became more pronounced. He looked over at Kyle and Mike. “And you two?”

“Well, we have no ice energy left right now,” Mike said convincingly.

“I see… In any event, marvellous work, Private,” the soldier commended.

“Thank you, General!” the young soldier answered sharply.

“You’re dismissed. We’ll handle it from here.” The young soldier stared at the general with a confused look on his face. “You are dismissed!” the general repeated.

“No way!” the private disputed nervously, “They’re my capture… sir…”

“It seems you don’t quite understand, private,” the general said calmly, “you do not want to cross lines with me.” With that, the general’s men drew their swords. They were dressed even more sharply than the guards at the outer gates.

The private’s face turned pale, then his disappointment soon became rage and anger. “No!” he shouted, hardly thinking the situation through, and drew his sword against the general. “That’s all you generals are good for!” the soldier raved, “You prosper off the lower ranks’ sweat and blood, and reap our rewards! This is—”

“Enough! Kill him!” the general ordered. Kyle and Lex stared with wide eyes at the confrontation. Mike grabbed his two new friends and pulled them back from the private. “You three hold it!” the general blasted, and they stopped moving. The other six guards ran past their commander and began attacking the private. Swords banged, and in a jiffy, one of the guards cleanly sliced off the private’s right hand. Kyle watched the hand, still gripping the sword tightly, fall on the grass, staining it with the blood of a man he could suddenly see himself being. Blood gushed from the man’s severed wrist, and before a cry of pain could follow, another soldier jammed his sword into the man’s chest, killing him. The corporal drew his sword from the man’s chest, and staggered back from the falling body. He shivered even worse than Lex, and his eyes were even wider. “Good work son,” the general commended calmly, “you did what was right and necessary.” The young soldier nodded nervously. The general laughed, supposing it was the youngster’s first kill. “Trent! Michael! Dispose of the body!” the general commanded, and the ordered soldiers got to work. Lex stared in horror as the private was dragged away. “Vincent, Johnman, Gates, come with me,” the general said, “carry the three boys. Today they get to see the queen.”

Quickly moving soldiers escorted the Icemaker and his friends. “So,” the general said, making conversation, “you three are related, right?”

“Brothers,” Mike answered.

“Ah, brotherhood, eh?” the general almost laughed. “I had a brother once.” They walked on a tiled street, soft carpets of green grass on both sides. They walked past huge, striking mansions and gardens, and they could see rows of trees in the distances, but ahead was the pride of the palace, the royal tower, topped off with a black flag with a red flame on it, and two gold swords crossing each other behind it. “I had to kill him,” the general continued, “he was a criminal… A soldier too! The corruption in this army! What would it do without soldiers like me?” The other soldiers just kept their silence.

“What is your name, General?” Kyle asked.

“General Greyner,” he answered, sounding proud. The talkative man continued ranting off about his brother and his ‘wicked’ deeds until they were at another pair of gates. Just beyond the gates of pure gold were the inner courts, where the royal tower stood.

“Major General. High Knight,” Greyner greeted the men by the gates.

“What have we here?” the M.G asked.

“Icemakers.”

“I see,” the reply followed quickly, but with no air of surprise or interest. “I heard your little brawl out there. I can just imagine what happened,” the man said to Greyner, sounding displeased, but not surprised or disappointed.

“High Knight, will you escort us in?”

“Yes, yes, come.” The knight led them through the gates, and to the base of the royal tower. He unlocked the iron door with a silver key that was in his top pocket. The general took them inside – his three men that accompanied him knew to wait outside. Greyner greeted the diplomats on the first floor, which was a mansion by itself, and led the boys up a flight of stairs, and up another, and another still.

They climbed for what seemed like a year, until they were finally at the highest room, the royal chamber. A guard was at the door, not dressed in any regular Magmalian uniform. He wore full white, and his white gloves seemed even to glow. He was the most well-trained guard in the army, one of the most skilled fighters the army boasted. On the under-supreme general could compare to him in battle. “Stand back,” the general told the boys, and walked toward the man in white. He bowed before the royal guard, then engaged in a whispery conversation. Then, the guard in white drew for a large brown book. He gave the general the book and an inked feather that was nearby, pointing somewhere on one of the pages. The general wrote for about a minute, then the guard in white signed the book and secured it in the chest he took it from.

“My Lord and King,” the man in white said from outside the door, “General Greyner is here with three Icemakers.”

“Send them in,” a voice of authority came from inside the room. Greyner tried to suppress his simper. The man in white took a key from his right shoe and opened the door.

“Enter into the royal chamber with reverence and great honour,” he recited. The general signalled for the three to follow him, and they entered the king’s abode.

Before them was an opaque curtain. Mike was jittery with excitement. He had longed to see the Magmalian king in person.

Are they all idiots? Kyle wondered, Why would they let a stranger into the king’s room with a sword on his back? Are they so sure I couldn’t make trouble if I wanted to?

“My Lord and King,” Greyner greeted, “this is General Greyner from battalion nineteen of division four. I have the Icemakers your queen desires.”

“Pull back the curtain,” they heard a kingly voice say. The general grabbed the curtain eagerly and shakily drew it back. The king was seated on his throne before them, the great and mighty, infamous king of Magma Town, King Aragan. He seemed to be around sixty, though he was even a bit older than that. He had a garden of black and grey hair on his head and face, but it was neatly trimmed, and gave his face a refined, noble look. He wore robes of wool and leather, and a crown of gold, lined with jewels that could buy villages. He also wore a fine silver chain with a small emerald pendant. “Well, I didn’t send for you. The queen did,” the king said. He seemed rather disinterested in the whole matter, like he had far more important matters to attend to. “I won’t be bothered with her foolishness.” He pointed to one of the servants there, whose head was slightly bowed.

“Send for the queen,” he commanded.

“Yes, my Lord and King,” the servant answered promptly, and went into another room.

“This idiotic woman, always putting precious resources to waste,” the king mumbled to himself, “she and Azar are one and the same.” Wrinkles of annoyance and mild vexation arose on his face. Before he could continue grumbling, the oversized doors were opened and the servants appeared with the Magmalian Queen. She wasn’t very young, but obviously at least a few years younger than the king, and she was dressed even more extravagantly than he was. Long, silver-white hair lengthened itself down from her petite, golden crown. It was almost clear, though, that without all the fandangle, she wouldn’t be much more beautiful that the average woman on the streets.

“My Lady and Queen,” the general greeted, bowing before the royal woman, “I have here three Icemakers.”

“My Lord, I’m sorry for bothering you with my trivial affairs,” the woman apologized, smiling with a smile that worried Kyle.

“My dear general, you brought me my Icemaker?” she asked, still smiling.

“Yes, my queen, three as a matter of fact!” the soldier said, grabbing on to two of the boys.

“I’m afraid you’re mistaken, my dear general,” the queen said, but not looking displeased.

“My queen?” the general said nervously. The king glanced at him with threat, and with the power to have him beheaded with a wordless gesticulation even on nothing more than a whim.

“Only the child in the middle, Lex, is an Icemaker,” she told him, “but fret not – I am too kind to punish you for such a simple mistake.” The general glared at the three boys, shaking, wondering if the king and queen would really let such a grave error go unpunished.

Indeed, he alone made ice before my eyes, the man contemplated, so it seems the queen has the power to tell without even testing them… The rumours of her being a powerful witch must be true then… All the more reason not to cross lines with her.

She knows my name… Lex considered. The three boys flashed quick glances at one another.

“So you must be Kyle, then!” she said in recognition, “And you, my handsome friend?” she asked Mike, “I’ve heard nothing about you!” Kyle clenched his teeth his fists, staying put with great effort.

So she does have Clover, Kyle became sure.

“Just a friend of theirs!” Mike replied, smiling, seeing the futility of lying to the woman.

“Woman! Take your business into your quarters!” the king ordered in annoyance.

“Yes, my Lord! Come, all of you! Thank you, general. Your hefty reward will be sent down the lines to you by tomorrow, so run along now. You have my word.”

“My thanks and praises, my queen,” the general said, grinning.

“Come, children, right this way,” the queen called them, and the servant there opened the same doors at her gesture. They went inside another elaborate room, where a table with eight chairs was set up. There were many ornaments of gold, and heavy cotton drapes hung down the windows. The doors closed behind them.

“Where is my sister?!” Kyle finally burst, still trying to contain his emotions.

“Oh, the rage of a handsome young man! I love it! Gives me shivers!” A weird expression appeared on Kyle’s face, and the woman laughed.

“Have you really summoned me to help me defeat Trium?” Lex asked, not feeling as certain of it as he did before.

“I have no interest in such stories, young Lex, though I won’t say I believe they are lies,” the queen answered. “Follow me.” She led them across to the far wall and stood facing it, a door nearby, but seemingly important to her. She placed her palms on the wall, and it begun to glow with red mana. The three watched with keenness. “Ka-Jandam Laever!” the witch commanded, and a red portal appeared on the wall. She stepped back a bit and looked back at them. She was impressed that none of them seemed very surprised. “Your sister’s inside,” the queen said, and stepped into the portal.

The three exchanged glances, then Kyle drew his sword, as he long wanted to. “Let’s go!” he dashed into the portal eagerly. Mike followed, then Lex. They found themselves in an endless open space, on hard, rocky ground. Piles of rock and large boulders were scattered about, and leafless trees.

“Clover!” Lex shouted. They looked out at what seemed to be a black cage out into the distance.

“Lex! Kyle!” the girl’s distant shouts returned. They saw the queen appear between them and the cage in a fast vanishing cloud of redness. Lex’s eyes widened as Kyle’s narrowed. A smirk appeared on Mike’s face. He knew the day was about to get even more interesting. They saw two persons trapped in the black cell.

“What do you want from us?!” Lex asked the queen, more than just a hint of anxiety and anger in his voice.

“Did Herriot ever tell you that she and I were close once?” the queen asked.

“What the hell does that have to do with Clover?!” Lex asked back, already conjuring up ice energy in his palms at his sides.

“Mana Cube,” the witch summoned. In a cloud of quickly clearing mana, a beautiful transparent cube with gold writings appeared in her right hand.

“Do you three know what this precious thing might be?”

“Think I’ll go for mana cube,” Mike retorted.

“Smart boy!” the queen cheered him in sarcasm, “But let me tell you its purpose! I have witches and wizards captured, and they’re all brought here. I then kill them, draining all their mana, all their power, into this sacred cube, created by Oga himself, the god of magic. When the power is transferred to the cube, I then use an ancient spell to absorb the power myself… With power like this, how could I not be feared as the most powerful witch on the continent?!” the witch laughed madly.

“Quite the plan!” Mike acknowledged, “But why go through the works of dragging us three here? Why not just kill the witches and steal their power like you usually do?” Lex and Kyle flashed similar glances at the boy between them.

“Such a brilliant question!” the queen commended Mike, “You see, I have much reason to believe that I am from the bloodlines of both Oga and Kizer! I will kill the Icemaker and have his power as well! I shall start my collection of elemental powers with you, Lex! Be honoured! Hahahahahaha! It’s a pity, though; you two will die for no real reason.”

So she used Clover as bait to capture and kill Lex, Kyle contemplated.

“I’m sorry, old lady, but I really can’t afford to go along with that stupid plan of yours!” Lex told her.

“I’m afraid I can’t die just yet either!” Mike came in.

He took off toward the queen quickly. Kyle’s eyes widened, as while Mike ran, his right fist took on a silver coating. He instantly recognized it to look extremely similar to the armour Rhino wore. The queen gazed at the boy’s fist in surprise, but her distraction would cost her more than a light slap on the wrist. He made a quick jump toward the woman, and gave her a hard and heavy blast with superhuman power. The witch flew through the air and slammed into a pile of rocks meters away. She made a bellow of pain on impact, struggling to her feet.

“So you weren’t all talk after all,” Kyle said, already making a run toward the black cage his sister and Herriot were trapped in.

Incredible, the witch thought, standing, her teeth clenched in pain, my luck is second to none! I’ll have the powers of an Icemaker and an Ionide in just one sweep! It seems he doesn’t know his power very well, so he shouldn’t be much a fight. If that’s his best, he’s just as dead as my mother. A villainous smirk dominated the woman’s face.

Combine, a faint, familiar voice advised Lex. Lex slammed the orbs of ice together, struggling to keep the now massive ball of energy contained. He widened his stance in strain. Push harder… the voice insisted. Mike ran up toward the witch again, ready with his ‘iron fist’.

“Azanath!” the veteran commanded, and red mana flashed from her hands toward Mike, then there was a red flash, and a cloud of mana dispersed. With that, Mike’s motion stopped suddenly and completely. He had the stance of a confident athlete heading toward the finish line, but he was suspended in time. Ice buzzed about Lex’s hands like sparks of electricity.

Go, the faint voice told him, and he obeyed. He flung his palms out toward the distant witch, who had already moved past the unmoving Mike. The iceball, though, didn’t go flying as it usually would. Instead, a swift beam of ice energy extended from the boy’s hands. The woman raised her right palm out before her, and a red shield of mana encircled her quickly. The approaching beam of mana hit the shield, and enveloped it in a jiffy. By the time Lex’s chilly hands reached his sides, a magnificently large sphere of ice encircled the queen, about a meter thick. The mana shield vanished from around the witch, leaving the cold cavity where she stood unharmed. Lex breathed heavily, feeling a bit light headed.

Finally, Kyle reached the black cage. “Kyle!” the crying girl greeted.

“H-Hey, lil’ sis,” he greeted her, grabbing her face through the bars.

“The ropes!” Herriot instructed with urgency. Kyle just noticed that their feet were in iron shackles, and their wrists were tightly tied behind them to the bars of the cage by black rope, similar to the one Kyle himself tied Herriot with back when the masked man had appeared. He quickly ran around to the other side of the cage and slit the ropes, freeing their hands. “Finally,” Herriot sighed.

“How do we escape the chains?” Clover panicked. Herriot grabbed on to Clover.

“It’s called spaceshifing,” the woman told her, a slight smirk on her face. Suddenly the two were engulfed in a cloud of red mana, then it was like they became mana themselves – all this happened in a time too short for measurement. Ina cloudy poof and in a jiffy, they appeared just outside the cage in a clearing mist of red mana. “You’ll get there,” Herriot told the bewildered young witch, smiling a little.

Finally, Mike found himself taking another step. He landed and staggered forward in confusion. He spun around and looked at the marvellous sphere of ice that was almost touching him. His brows furrowed and crept together. To him, the massive structure had appeared, while the witch vanished from before him in no time at all. “Egrus Anam!” the witch commanded from within the ice. There was a loud crash. There was also a nasty splintering noise as the ice exploded in a red cloud of mana. From the chilly explosion flew sharp, quick projectiles of ice in every direction. Mike flung himself behind a nearby tree, his teeth clenched, blood dripped from his back. He drew out the sharp icicles that launched into him as he watched sharp pieces of ice fly past him. Lex felt his right hand make an involuntary forward jerk, and his palms opened. A flash of darkness grabbed his eyes, and he watched as the bits of ice flew toward him, but stopped as they reached to where his hand was. A faint black glow appeared around the pieces of ice for a moment. He stared at the hundreds of pieces of ice suspended in the air before him, then the black glow disappeared from them and they fell at his feet. Kyle defended the witches ably with his sword, dismissing each missile that came near them. The frightened Icemaker looked down at his hands. Finally, the red mist cleared, and all that remained was a surrounded queen. The woman looked around, not seeming very frightened.

“Hmmm… Seems I’m grossly outnumbered, five to one,” she said out loud, then exhaled deeply.

“Both of you, stay back,” Herriot told Kyle and Clover, walking toward the queen.

“How’d you get here?” Clover struggled to ask, and hugged her brother tightly. He felt her heart banging against his chest. He grabbed the back of her head, pressing the girl against him.

“Have to leave the stories for later,” he said, releasing her abruptly, clenching tightly his sword, “Seems these witches have some history.” Mike, Lex, Kyle and Clover became spectators as the two women walked toward each other.

“You’re more heartless than I thought you were,” Herriot began, a look of disgust on her face, “just how far would you go for power? You conspire to kill even your own sister in the name of—”

“Half-sister that is,” the queen corrected.

“You’re queen of the most powerful province in Libson!” Herriot reminded her, sounding more proud than jealous, “But you can never be satisfied, can you?! Your greed… it brings you to your tragic end!” The old witch’s eyes fired up, and her now open palms glowed with purple mana. The queen’s face collapsed and her cheeky, cocky expression transformed dramatically.

“Sixth grade mana…” the woman marvelled. “Heh!” Her expression returned to what it was a moment ago, as delightful thoughts entered her mind. “No matter… I will destroy you with the power I have collected from tens of sorcerers across the land, and I will finally be powerful enough to unlock the final stage of sorcery! I will be the most powerful magician ever to trot this world!” Her grin widened and her eyes bulged, giving her the look Lex always imagined old witches would have. “My husband, my king! Ha! This queenship, is all just a stepping stone! Just like you, Herriot! You and these shall give me the power I need to conquer even Notherland, and be greater even than the legacy that Oga left behind!”

With narrowed eyes, Herriot stared at the mad look her sister had, the clothes and jewels she wore certainly not fitting her. “I kill you unwillingly, my dear little sister,” Herriot said in a sullen, cheerless voice. Her face resembled that of a woman who was for some reason forced to shoot her own four-year-old daughter with a shotgun at point-blank range.

“Dream on, Herriot!” the queen blasted, and flung her hands toward her half-sister. As a dense bulk of bright red mana flew from the witch’s hands toward Herriot, she uttered a terribly strong command, “Edanerg Anamwar!”

“Esrever!” Herriot shouted, holding both hands out, purple mana glowing about her open palms. All in a second’s fraction, as the red mana enveloped Herriot, it flew back toward its sender. The flood of mana returned at double its original speed and strength. As the mana reached the queen, there was a loud and bright explosion, even breaking up the ground beneath it. The queen’s reflexive shield attempted to neutralize the blast, but wasn’t nearly strong enough. The intrigued spectators watched as the queen was sent hurling through the air at a dangerous speed and force. The brightness from the explosion was still glaring at them. Instead of making the expected harsh landing the youngsters expected, the queen vanished from the air in a newly formed cloud of red mana. Herriot spun around immediately, fearing for the others around, but the queen had reappeared where Herriot least expected, right where she would have landed. “Behind you!” Clover shouted in warning, pointing. Herriot spun around quickly.

“Anam Resal!” the queen commanded, her palms pushed forward, her wrists touching. A bright red beam of power shot out from her palms towards Herriot, and she knew dodging would have caused trouble for those behind her.

“Emas!” Herriot quickly commanded, mirroring her opponent’s stance. Purple mana rushed from Herriot toward the approaching beam of raw power. As the two bodies of pure magical energy clashed, a blinding flash of red and purple light exploded, spreading for miles in every direction. The witches squinted reflexively, making serious efforts to keep their eyes open any at all. Though they had trained to see through bright mana for many years, their vision was only slightly better than the others’.The witches’ hair and clothes flew behind them in the great wind the clashing powers created. Small stones rose up from the ground in the tension only to be sublimed by the power. The queen released a straining roar and she skated back, digging up hard rock with her shoes, as she tried to overcome a power that was beyond even hers. With clenched teeth, the older witch kept her composure. The bright purple flare that defined the meeting point of the two beams crept toward the Magmalian queen. None of the watchers could look at the mana directly- it seemed brighter than a thousand suns. Even larger rocks rose to be consumed by the rumbling beams of mana.

“Anam Garadan!” the queen struggled to activate, and a red shield encircled her. The purple beam, without hesitance, struck the red guard of mana that the queen had put up. The purple energy spread itself around the shield, looking to consume it. Kyle shielded his eyes, the others looked away. For a moment, nothing could be identified. There was a glaring radiance of purple and red where the shield was struck, and there was a loud clash, like lightning had hit the earth. A cloud of dust arose from the ground as something hit it forcefully. The queen skated along the earth, and there was a loud snap as she hit and wrecked a hardwood tree. The glaring mana disappeared, leaving behind in the distance a bleeding, dead-looking woman, purple mana, like smoke, rising from her burnt body and torn clothes. Herriot lowered her hands slowly with a sunken heart.

“Damn it, Miriam,” she whispered, looking into the distance at her sister, her eyes dim and her lips arching down slightly. She disappeared, leaving behind a cloud of mana, reappearing across meters of rocky, dusty land to where her sister lay. The burning, bleeding, frayed woman was on her bottom, her back resting on the broken bark of a huge tree, which lounged over her like it would soon topple. Blood dripped down from the queen’s mouth, and her face no longer had a confident look, but was now pitiful, at least to her sister.

Lex and the others quickly ran toward the two women. “Sis…ter…” the queen strained to mutter in exhalation, like she was breathing her last breath, “Forgive me… Heal me… Stay with me…” the woman whimpered. As Herriot looked down at her little sister with compassion, she saw before her the innocent, jolly, clumsy little girl she knew around half a century ago. Her eyes welling up with tears, Herriot slowly stooped and took the bleeding woman in her arms, then gently lay her down a little distance from the limping tree. Herriot’s sister wheezed like she was at the end of her rope.

“Relax, Miriam,” Herriot whispered, and for a brief moment, the familiar comforting voice of her big sis calmed her, and she remembered more vividly than ever her sister scraping her out of a ditch, saying the same old words, laying her down the same way. The elderly witch closed her eyes and tenderly rested her hands on her sister’s chest and head. Purple mana covered her hands and soon enveloped the queen’s body. The queen shone brightly, and made a relieving sigh.

“Ahhhhh…..” her eyes closed as she felt the soothing and familiar power of her sister. As wounds were mended and bones were shifted back into place, for a moment, her jealousy was cured. Looking into the blissful past, she saw herself glowing in the green, healing mana, and she saw her sister’s smile. ‘You’ll be healing yourself in no time, Miriam…’ she heard her sister say, ‘you’re a witch, too. Don’t ever forget that.’

Then, the Magmalian queen flung herself back to reality. The bright purple mana faded from around her, and her pains had vanished, and her grave wounds left only vague scars. Herriot grabbed her forehead and gasped, veins standing vividly about her arms and head. There was another poof, as Miriam’s body disappeared from beneath Herriot in a cloud of red mana. “I’m sorry, big sis,” a sincere-sounding voice said from behind her. Herriot stood and turned to her sister slowly. The queen’s hands were raging with red mana. There was no look of anger or even disappointment on Herriot’s face, just one of grief and regret. “Senakken!” the queen commanded, sending red mana toward the drained, limping woman. There was a bright flash, as Herriot was struck with a suspension spell she had taught her little sister decades ago. “Recilsanam!” Miriam commanded. As the words were uttered, a gleaming red sword that seemed to be made of red mana appeared in her hands. She stepped toward the unmoving Herriot and made a malignant swing at her.

The red sword cut cleanly through a thin cloud of purple mana. Herriot was already standing right behind the queen, her right hand held out as if holding a sword that was plunged into the queen’s spine. “Emas!” she commanded, and a bright red sword appeared in her hand, already piercing through Miriam. The frightened queen looked down at the bright red sword that jutted out through her chest. She shivered and her eyes went wild, and blood gushed out of her. Herriot, her eyes, her face suddenly mirroring the queen’s, released her sword and staggered backwards. Both swords vanished in bursts of red mana, but the horrid wound caused by Herriot’s remained. Herriot grabbed the falling woman quickly from behind, sobbing her name and shaking. She felt her sister’s blood wash down on her hands, and she knew that there were no more chances.

Sill shaking, Herriot gently rested the corpse on the ground, and closed the queen’s wide eyes. Clover ran up to the shivering woman and grabbed her tightly. As she held on to the young witch, the tears flowed down her face freely. Kyle and Mike looked around alertly as the battleground faded away, leaving behind the room they were in a moment ago. Lying stiff on the ground before them was the dead Magmalian queen. Before much thinking could be done, the royal guard, dressed in full white opened the door. He stood there for a moment with a pale face, staring at the dead queen in the pool of blood and the silent criminals that looked almost equally frightened. “Murderers!” the man blasted in fright. Kyle rushed to the bellowing man, sword gripped firmly in hand, ready to permanently silence him. The nervous guard drew his sword in defence. The adrenaline-powered Kyle knocked the veteran’s sword away easily, then ran his sword through him. Blood squirted from the man’s chest and nearly pushed Kyle back. Kyle withdrew his sword quickly, his hand shaking. He gasped with gaping eyes at the falling corpse.

What the hell did I just do?? Clover stared at her brother with fright almost comparable to his. Mike and Lex looked down the body in the river of blood. “Come, everyone!” Herriot shouted shakily, dragging everyone to her. Tens of guard rushed into the room quickly, armed with class A swords and the licence to kill almost at will, but they were a second late. A cloud of purple mana ushered the escapers out, and they had just appeared at the foot of the Royal Tower.

“Damn it,” Herriot panted, “I’m drained – can’t even walk.” Clover held up the almost falling woman.

“Off with their heads!” a voice of authority and finality commanded from above them. They looked up, and pointing down at them with fire in his eyes was the crowned king of Magma Town. The anger that wrinkled his face seemed infinite, and seemed enough to make the coolest of men lose it. Soldiers were already fast moving toward them on black steeds, and quick shuffling could be heard going on inside the tower.

“Join hands!” Herriot told them, and they clung together quickly. Herriot slammed her eyes shut and forced all the mana she could find into anther spaceshift. Red mana engulfed them suddenly, but this shift didn’t take them as far away as the witch had hoped; Herriot’s mana had run out completely. They appeared in a thin cloud of blue mana, just meters away from Greyner’s guard squad, which immediately gave chase, quickly leaving behind them the massive bronze gates.

“Those rascals are my money! Don’t let them get away!” Greyner blasted with gaping eyes, fearing that had they escaped, he’d not have gotten the money the queen had promised him. Lex turned and sent two iceballs at two of the chasing soldiers – the lawmen were on horses, while the others were on foot behind them. Even Lex was surprised at how quickly the ice wrapped itself around not just the men, but the horses, making them seem to have been frozen by decades of arctic winter. Greyner stopped immediately, standing between his frozen men, shaking.

“Go! After them, you idiots!” he barked at the men who were stopping with him. Two of the soldiers nervously ran toward the strange enemies, who had appeared from nowhere, and who had the power to freeze two men and two horses in the blink of an eye. Mike quickly caught a swung sword in his fist of iron, and pulled it toward him suddenly. The frightened man was tugged along with the sword. Mike blasted the soldier with his left fist, which though was uncoated with the strange metal, was nothing to be taken lightly. Clover summoned up two bright bodies of mana, further frightening the men. Still, one of them ran toward her and attacked with his sword valiantly. Before Clover could do anything, Kyle moved in before her and blocked the man’s sword with his.

“Clover! Save your mana! Come! One last shift!” Herriot called. The distracted soldier took a heavy blow to the face by Mike’s right hand. Clover, dragging her brother along, ran toward Herriot. Soldiers, by now, were approaching in great numbers from both before and behind. Men on horses moved past Greyner’s petrified company, and others tried to surround them from the opposite direction. The group clung tightly again. Herriot grabbed on to Clover. “I hope you can endure this,” Herriot told her, then, in an instant, they vanished in a cloud of green mana.

They reappeared some distance from the bronze gate, but Herriot had no clue as to where they were. Lex grabbed on to Clover as she seemed to be falling. “Clover!” he called to her, shaking her. Herriot felt for her pulse at her neck with two fingers quickly, then uttered a heavy sigh.

“Her mana barely managed to shift us out, but she’s alive; she’ll need lots of rest before she can—”

“Follow me!” Mike blasted, pointing at soldiers rushing toward them. They were in a crowded marketplace that Mike happened to know like the back of his hands. People screamed and jumped out of the way as the group of soldiers whipped their horses hard. Stalls of fruits and vegetables and meat toppled, and hungry men grabbed what they could in the chaos. Even Mike found himself biting into a huge plum. Men cursed and hollered, making the chaos even thicker, but chaos wouldn’t be to the runners’ disadvantage at a time like this.

“Follow!” Mike shouted. He turned through a narrow street, knowing well the network of alleys. They struggled to keep up with the boy who was almost as fast as a horse. They jumped over obstacles they couldn’t bother to recognize, keeping their balance as they moved faster and faster. The nearing sound of clopping hooves made them flash their eyes behind them while running.

“Idiot!” Kyle blasted at Mike, “You on their side, taking us in here?! We should’ve split up out there and gotten lost in the crowd!”

“If we move fast enough, we can lose them in the alleys! There’s a whole labyrinth! These corners are our best bet at losing them! This way!” Mike led them around another angular bend, and then another.

Kyle turned quickly, seeing Clover was too far behind. He ran up to her and scooped her up like an excited husband. “Hurry!” Mike yelled, as the horsemen were again in sight. Damn, we could’ve lost them just now, Mike thought.

“Kill them!” the soldier at the front commanded, and they drew arrows in quickly brandished bows. “Just run!” Mike blasted, “the corner’s up ahead!” Arrows zoomed toward the youngsters and the old woman, but the perfect combination of desperation and luck had them make the corner unharmed.

“The next corner will lead us to a crowded opening!” Mike said, “Just stay alive ‘til then!”

“Shit,” Kyle muttered to himself, “that corner’s like a million miles ahead.” He glanced back again at the nearing soldiers still volleying them with arrows. He sliced through an incoming arrow quickly, then another, continuing to run with the others. The corner was by now just a few steps away, but each step was more frightening than the last. Herriot made a sudden, sharp cry of pain, then there was a worrisome thud. The group looked back quickly. Clover tried to run back to where the bleeding woman had fallen. Her brother grabbed her sternly. Having no time to fuss, he took her up and flung her over his shoulder, running with her. She looked in tears at the old woman, her teacher, trying to get up. The soldiers ignored the fallen witch as the stampede finished her. Clover’s eyes widened as she watched the horrendous scene. The heavy hooves plunged down into the witch, crushing her, pressing into the dusty ground her back, legs, arms, crushing her skull.

Lex turned and faced the dozens of approaching horses, stopping completely, obeying the insistent spirit inside him. “Go! Go! Go!” he shouted. Mike grabbed on to Kyle’s arm, pulling him around the corner.

“Lex!” Clover shouted, tears falling from her face – she couldn’t imagine losing him too. She wriggled and squirmed, but could not escape Kyle’s firm grip. The Icemaker shut his eyes for a moment. He felt like minutes had passed before he opened them. As his eyelids rose, dense, powerful darkness was revealed in his eyes.

Lex stretched his hands until he touched both walls of the narrow alley. Still chasing, the soldiers didn’t hesitate to shoot more arrows at the boy. Faint black glows surrounded each arrow, as they did the bits of ice not too long before, and their movement stopped, and they fell at his feet. His bulging veins showed the potent black energy that was gushing through his blood. Black ice sped along the walls and even the ground toward the Magmalians. The soldiers quickly moved away from the walls as much as possible, trying to stay clear of the strange black ice. The alley darkened as a black mist emanated from the icy walls. Men cried out in fright and terror as shadowy, chilly hands, obviously not human, with fingers two feet long, emerged from the walls and from the ground, grabbing on to the soldiers and their horses. Almost as soon as each enemy was grabbed, black ice rushed out with a ghastly sound, almost like a demonic whisper, freezing them, freezing their horses in an opaque ice that earthly fires could not even think to melt. Horses stopped in frightened neighing, not understanding what was happening. Not that the soldiers were any more enlightened. The darkness from Lex’s eyes faded quickly, and he fell to his knees. Six soldiers and their horses were frozen solid, but there were a few who escaped the power of the black ice, the power of the black-eyed boy.

Shivering soldiers looked at the kneeling boy, whose eyes had become pale. They exchanged glances, and looked around at the frozen men and horses and walls in awe and disbelief. “The rope,” their leader said, almost stammering, trying hard not to sound too shaken up, “bind him with the black ropes!” he shouted, still shaking with wild-looking eyes. Three men jumped from their horses and ran toward Lex, who was fighting to remain conscious.

Mike hissed under his breath. Kyle was holding his sister tight, his hand sealing her mouth forcefully. They watched as even more soldiers came around the corner, tens more, who were gazing at the strange scene of black ice and frozen men and horses. They were hiding behind a massive crate, peeping at the soldiers and Lex. “Others are here already. We can’t take them now,” Mike said quietly. Kyle nodded in agreement, struggling to keep Clover under control. His right hand was drenched in her tears as she watched them beat and bound Lex with the familiar ropes. They saw the soldiers fling the bound boy up on a horse.

“Let’s disappear for now,” Kyle said, “it’s best to get lost in the crowd and come back for him later.” With that, Kyle grabbed Clover tightly in his arms and they ran out into the crowded town.

“After them!” they heard a command ring out behind them, but escape in such a thick crowd was too easy to mess up.

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
rawrafied
Review

Here are some corrections/suggestions:

I’m tellin’ you, man! Your eyes just went pure black! I think you even floated a little! Then BAM! In two seconds you made this… black ice!

You're missing a quotation mark at the beginning here. Also, there should be no space after the use of ellipsis. However, very realistic dialogue here and a nice start to this chapter. :D

“Unbelievable… This thing inside me…” Lex held his belly, trying to imagine a powerful demon spirit living inside him, “I finally get to us its power and I can’t remember a damn thing!”

You should not capitalize the word after the ellipsis, unless it's the beginning of a new sentence. In that instance, the ellipsis should be written as '... .' Also, this is not a proper speech tag, therefore, the comma after 'him' should be a period. Typo at 'get to us'; it should be 'use' instead of 'us'.

It was after hours of tiresome walking, with short breaks at infrequent intervals to rest a little that they finally saw some sign of civilization again.

Long, run-on sentence. To remedy this, put a comma after 'a little' and place parenthesis around 'at infrequent intervals'.

There were a few small houses huddled together.

This sentence was oddly placed/written. I feel like you were either going to begin describing something or were trying to point out something odd in the situation. If the first, remove 'there were'. Regardless of whether it's the later or not, you should split the paragraph after this sentence since the idea differs from that of the following sentence.

...but the man ignored them – he didn’t even look at them.
You're using the en dash here, which is used to combine two words to make a compound word. You should be using the em dash, which is used to show a separation/interruption of thought. Regardless, you should not have spaces around your hyphens.

I'm gonna stop here. Hope this was helpful. Happy Review Day~~~! ^_^

Many many thanks for one of the best reviews I've ever gotten!!

User avatar
AnimeGirl
Review

hey there its me KissMe to give you a review, well this story a review.

Lets jump on into it!!!

first off this was great but a few thing i wouldd like to coment on. im going to split it up cool? cool!

first off:

your spelling and punctuation was fine so was your grammar. but you do things like space it really wierd. its the dialog i wanted to coment on the most witht eh spacing. its like :

“Let’s go, Lex,” Kyle said, ignoring the boy.

“Come on, Kyle, look at it – what do we have to lose?” Lex considered. “We need all the help we can get!”

Kyle stopped for a moment, not looking back at them.

“Whatever,” he said, not putting a strand of faith into the stranger, “if you slow us down or get in our way—”

“Ha! You make the right choice, brave soldier!” the boy yelled in excitement, “By the way, the name’s Mike!”

“Lex.”

“Kyle.”

“Then let’s go!” the boy said eagerly, “I’ll lead the way! Know this route like the back o’ m’ hand!” He took the lead quickly. “So who are we rescuing?! It’s a rescue mission, right?!”

“My sister.”

its just a bt odd to me, i guess im just not used to it but it was just wierd for me to read like that. it was like a few words then nest like, and hardly any of what was going on around them and what they were doing. thats just me thouhg.

second:

i would like to say that you make a lot of your paragraphs really lone, maybe space them out more (lol i was just tlaking about spacing XD). i think it would be a bit better if they were smaller, but it is your story.

last:

i would like to comment on the story now, like the acual story. it was a nice story that i would like to continue to read. i enjoyed the names, the detail, the dialog. all of it, it was amazingly fun to read. not many storys now a days are like this. very good!

thank you for posting this story it was fun!

keep writing and follow your heart!!!

~KissMe

ugh, I'm gonna have to make my chapter WAY longer :(

nah, make it as long as you want :)

Many thanks for such a nice review? And should I kiss you? I mean...

XD nah man nah! i didnt know what to name it so yeah... lol

heheh. I see, I see.



When she transformed into a butterfly, the caterpillars spoke not of her beauty, but of her weirdness. They wanted her to change back into what she always had been. But she had wings.
— Dean Jackson