Forgive Me.

The sound cracked throughout the night. It boomed, it rang, it split the very tether that connected the heavens and the earth together. Sending that spark of energy like a dagger to stab the very ground that consumed the blow.

The small trickling of the tears of the angles themselves fell to the ground washing away the sins of its children it spent an eternity mothering.

The screams of the unworthy whistled and blew through the canyons, through the valleys, sending the small shiver down the embossed spine of a soul that is burdened by the trials that life has sentenced him to.

That night it rained like never before.

Whimpering and short huffs of breath escaped the two trembling bodies huddled under the protection of the blanket. So young, so beautiful, so innocent, so perfect they were. Too young to be effected by the anguish that life has provided for them, too young to remember all the pain and all the suffering that their older brother took in order for them to be safe.

I was scared, scared of the monster that killed that heart of gold and replaced it with another and fixating it inside the man I once called father.  I was scared because I knew he would be home soon and like every night when he's out or even home I can alway expect him to come and beat me, throw me around like a ragdoll and still do nothing about it. He had left this so called home about three hours prior and knowing him and his depression issues he's prossibly shitfaced drunk or beyond the very limits of what alcohol gave his pitiful life. So I returned to the words that I say, the words that I pray, mean and always remember, stroking the flimsy hairs that seeded their roots down into my sister's head. 

Everything was dark and my eyes closed, my breathing is steady and my mind is focused on those angels sleeping before lost in the world of dreams and pretend heavens. 

"Dear god, help me.

Give me strength to overcome this place.

Don’t worry about me but please protect my sisters.

Don’t let harm come to them, don’t let anything or anyone cause them pain.

I need them to be safe.

Protect them."

I was kneeling next to the linen sheets of the queen sized bed. Their room wasn’t big; it was a blatant grey with and obnoxious red that lined the places where the walls met, it had one window which overlooked the parking lot of the apartment complex, and the closet was one big enough to fit two people; it had a lock on the inside.

I went over to the small four year old holding her baby sister who was only two. Such a small age, they deserved a better life, but instead god decided to put them here. Why?

I shook her small body and through tired eyes, she nodded knowing exactly what to do. She gently went over to lift up her sister entangled in the blankets and stuffed animals. She never let her pooh bear go.

She walked into the closet spreading the blankets around in order to make the small space somewhat comfortable. But something caught my attention… headlights.

My breathing became uneven and my body began to shake and I quickly helped my sister into the closet and I gave her the two pairs of yellow ear plugs and I said to her as gently as possible:

“Whatever happens don’t you take those out of your ears ok, when I slip this paper underneath the door you can unlock it and come out ok. I love you.” I kissed the top of her head and closed the closet door. The last thing I heard was it locking, locking herself and the two year old away, secluded and protected by their older brother of no more than the age of eleven. 

Time slowed and I felt the rhythm of my very heart slow but escalate to a beat that was all but too familiar. I moved to the room door and locked it and with all my strength I went to push the dresser we had, in front of the door. Hoping this blockade of mine might hold him off long enough and maybe, just maybe, he’ll see I am tired of letting him do this, maybe he won’t be as aggressive tonight.

The door that welcomed the demons and evils into our home opened with a tremendous thud. It rang throughout the halls and rooms of our pitiful home of an apartment, giving me the warning sign that he was home.

I hid in the corner rocking back and forth grasping onto my knees and I began to pray.

"Dear god, hear my plea. "

“OPEN THE DOOR YOU LITTLE FUCKER!” was the first words that came from the door.

"I ask the same every time."

“FUCKING BRAT!”

"Protect my baby girls help them in life."

“IF YOU DON’T OPEN THIS DOOR I SWEAR TOO GOD YOUR DEAD!”

"If tonight I never see them again then please let me into paradise."

“1, 2, 3… FUCK!”

"If I never wake up allow me to watch over my girls."

“THAT’S IT!” the drunken body slammed against the door.

"If tonight is the very night I leave then help my dad, I know he has done wrong, but he is blinded by sorrow, sorrow for the love that he had lost. "

“YOU LITTLE BITCH ASS KID!” slams.

"Let him not be blinded and open his eyes within his heart."

“I AM YOUR FATHER UNLOCK THIS DOOR!” he slurred.

"Let him see love again and not pain."

“YOU’RE DEAD.”

"Give me strength to forgive him."

And just like that the door cracked, split, and like the mighty walls of Jericho it fell.

I was David and he was goliath. His mighty hands grabbed the dresser and pushed it the ground, the veins bulging underneath the sandy colored skin of his, each one just coursing with a blood that has been boiling and saturated in alcohol and depression.

His eyes were dark and clouded, inside sand storms raged on, blinding him with the hallucinations of regret, anger, and a love that was buried deep in the sands of time.

Like a symphony his movements were swift and agile, each one relative to the surrounding crashing into the walls, objects, and smashing the very limits of pain. Each chords and string vibrated and pulsed like the muscles on his arms, the harmonious chimes of the stroke of a piano—oh how I love a pianos sounds—but this sound was a villainous sound, it was the striking of the lowest keys on the piano bringing the terror and violence to the song. It was the very key to my undoing.

The thunder boomed and echoed through the night, masking the cries and screams for help, the very shouts of a shattering eleven year old's life asking for just a chance. His fists collided into me, causing welts and dead blood cells to rise to the edge of my skin, his feet jabbed my rig cage, and I felt the stinging of the braking of the fibers that structured this pathetic body.

Metallic is the taste that entered my mouth and I saw the blood of someone’s innocent life, someone who has sacrificed his body to face the very extinction of his life to the pain and burden of carrying the weight of both his and his father’s life.

I reached over using all my strength I could conjure. Every ounce of whatever was left I used it to grab the broken lamp that now lies on the floor. This lamp was my scepter, my spear, my sword, it was my sling.

With what was left I swung and smashed it into his very head, he tottered and swayed resembling a tree that took years to gather its power only to be cut down by the sharp axe of reality. He fell to the ground lying next to me.

“I’m sorry… my son… I love you… I’m sorry… Forgive me…” those few words were the words that were lost, buried from the sandstorm in the dunes of time, sunken to the bottom of the sea that had no ending and no beginning.

Those words resurfaced, became uncovered, and broke through the bondage that covered the bits and pieces of his broken heart. Those words were everything that I had feared. Fared because I knew he meant them, feared because I knew once he said them I wouldn’t be able to deny them.

“I forgive you.” I said.

His eyes closed the storm finally began settling. 

Hello!

Jay here with a short message at the end! 

If you're reading this then YEAH! You Made it! 

*Throws confetti in the air and strikes up the band!* 

Thanks for reading my short-story! Let me know if I should continue with it either by adding an edning to it or by putting this story into a bigger story/novel, because I was hoping to write a novel sometime soon or at least start a novel by this time and well yeah,I havent started one yet *cries*. Again thanks for reading this and if you enjoyed it please go and read someof my other works, review/comment/like my other ones too! Don't forget to smile darlings because it keeps the demons away! Thanks Bye! :D 

-Jay.xoxo.