Fallen Angel.

Hello, my name is Jay, and  this is a story about a girl I once knew, she was a wild girl, her father was a pastor, and if there was one thing I remembered is that she always had on a golden angel necklace and she always had a passion to go and live her life. It was quiet lovely and well... the last time I saw her was when they found her dead. She had died from drug abuse and I remember  and will never forget, it was her father who said "She is now an angel, an angel that fell and flew away." So yeah I gave no names, because I wanted to show some respect for her, I tweaked up the story and changed the scenario... sadly she had died around this time of year... Thank you, please critic and tell me what you think about this story, thanks again! 

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She felt as if she had just ran forever into eternity. Letting her mind escape and begin to expand into the darkening world that surrounds her.

They told her it was okay, nothing would happen if she just took one breath of the newfound life that she found herself entranced in. Captivated by lust and pure craving for this substance that she now holds between her fingers; her bony fingers thin and feeble from the lack of proper nourishment. Nothing quenched the thirst for the drug, no not even the drug itself could yield the proper dosage to conquer the feeling of obsolesce and emptiness.

She is like an animal.

Scooping and stuffing as much of the sugary white substance into her pockets of her worn down blue jeans; those jeans housed her hands which found their ways inside and out grabbing that green plant that helps her get to cloud 9.

A misunderstood, addicted animal. A mere dog thrown from the warm upbeat insides of the club that gave her shelter, a family, a temporary home. She had worked there and as of tonight she was no longer in their control. 

She sprawls from the frozen asphalt that meets the barren concrete which entices her skin with goose bumps and sends the rush of electrical shivers down from her nape to the end of her tailbone.

Cold and all alone, she saw the tarnished silverly-brown cart that held her belongings, she wanted her blanket, the one with the holes, and in the harsh winter nights simliar to thses she used it to keep warm; some nights these were, ones where the stars would shine and the moon would fly high above into the dark blanket, enveloped by the twinkling tide, nights like these made her feel less alone. 

Her woolen blanket, a once safe memory to which she repressed into the caverns of her mind now showing

through, with gaping moth holes, exposing her loss of security to the world. Harsh words and voice overpower her mind, the same words that bring tears to her eyes “Don’t you ever come back! You are no longer my daughter!”

Dizzy and unsure of whether or not her mind had commanded her feet to move and her body to get up, she teetered and tottered, swaying side-to-side, trying to find the balance of the shifting ground she stood upon.

Feet swollen from the countless days she roamed this forsaken earth, calves and thighs caving in, pressured to take the bones which structure the painstakingly delicate figure, the world saw her as…

                                                                                                                        …And so.

Into darkness she fell.

Into the mind of a beast that knew not of what was the real killer, the powdery white substance or the voice that commanded her to take another hit.

So she found heaven in both, and inhaled the white cloud that smoked out her mind, escalating her internal rhythm to an unsteady beat. 

Into the abyss which cradled the small figure in the arms of the stars and the heavens above.

Into her eyes fell a star.

A star that had no end and no beginning, no time, no heaven or hell. But instead a star giving hope and faith; wandering into the aimless soul that lost its way in the darkness, blinded by a veil of tainted purity and love.

Her evanescent figure lay there, languid and guilty.

Once a girl of beauty beyond compare to those who looked hardest into the heavenly soul she had once been ignited with.

"Look up to her as she has looked up to God, and you will live a life of grace and holiness" they used to say after the congregation was gone and those few remained to admire her in that godly place. 

Now a fragile thing she is, with nothing but a cardboard sign, a shopping cart to carry her memorabilia, a blanket and a necklace: a necklace of an angel.

She feels the muscles in her forearm begin to flex and slowly bring the arm up to her chest to lie on her bosom.

Her arm skin tight clasping onto the bone which gave it shape and form was pale and brittle, with blue veins that have seen too much abuse from one too many needles.

Nimble were her fingers as they reached out and gently felt each groove and curvature on the small angel necklace enclosed around her neck.

The small golden angel, not much but a cheap trinket to others, but to her it was the most precious memory she could rely and depend upon.

“Now my darling princess, I love you… I got you something. It’s an angel, your guardian angel… may it forever protect you and give you love. Remember all you need to do is ask God for forgiveness and he will never let you go… even if those who love you the most forsake you. Trust in him and trust in yourself.”

She felt her heart slow in pace, her chest heaving and releasing the small but enough amounts of polluted air allowing her to remain a part of this world some time more.

“Father!” and silver tears caressed her cheek, lining its way past her unannounced defeat.

“Father!” this time she knew why she was here, this was her fault, and she did not have a friend in the world.

“Daddy I’m sorry, please! I wanna come home! Don’t leave me here! Don’t leave me alone!” she screams out in agony and pain, matching the voices of the mournful and the forgotten. 

Clawing at the concrete and feeling the weight of her malnourished structure seemed like the most impossible amount of work one must do. Her muscles rose and tightened at the sense of courage and strength, and her fingers grabbed the concrete pulling her small body toward the run down shopping cart.

Now regaining the strength lost from her endeavor she could feel the hollowing of her lungs and the nerves underneath the paper like skin trembling and quaking at the final seconds of mortal life, she reached her small golden angel gleaming in the light the streetlights provided, her eyelids becoming un barrenly heavy with such devotion and determination to shut for the final time.

The cold air wisped her hair, flowing the raggedy thin and soot filled hair, in the wind. Her hallowed face showed her cheekbones and sunken eyes deeper than before. If only she could fly away, but if she did she will die; die because she knows that she is no longer that stunning angel that once knew how to fly.

What would people say when they find her in the morning? What will they do? Will they say she was an addict and needed help? That she was a whore who got fired from her place of employment and was left with nothing but some weed and cocaine out on the lonely streets? Or will they see her as a girl a young girl, younger than the age of 18 who was abandoned, forgotten, and left to live out in a world full of temptaions and sorrow? 

So she sat back against the rusting metal of her trusty shopping cart and smiled, the young girl wrapped her woolen blanket around her, and smiled for the chance to relive her life in the 10^th of a second, in reality. But for her mind she experienced it all again, the hardships and the glory days of when she was not this slum on the side of a highway, but a woman who was strong and proud, but naive and susceptible.

“Can someone please forgive me?” she cried out, one last time, “I am now truly sorry… just someone forgive me." and her eyes sealed shut and away she flew. 

So the angel began to fly, fly away, and went into a spiral of light, the gateway to the minds clockworks and tidal waves that beach the barren shores of her past life. Between the gaps of faith and science, of heaven and hell, of darkness and light.

She stayed in the moment…

                         …In the moment of pure untainted life before…

                        … Before she found a demon…

A demon of the whitest of nights and the greenest of lights.

A monster shrouded in powder and smoke.

                                                                        … Before the monster had come to consume her soul…

                                                                        …Before she became a….

…A Fallen Angel.