they call me miss forgettable
married to my anonymity.
the apocalypse started yesterday
and i'm sitting at my kitchen table
because even god forgot i existed.
they call me mister forgettable
walking hand in hand with namelessness
my head says lead the way
but my heart says forget it,
they don't know you anyways.
they call me mix forgettable
best friend to the invisible.
it's the chemicals to blame
for you forgetting my name.
do i know me? aren't i lonely?
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140,258 Literary Works • 673,074 Reviews
It's not letting me add spaces in between the paragraphs. Woo!
Hiiii, so I'm not usually one to read poetry but I really liked this! I very much like the beat to it, I'm a sucker for those. And while not all the end words rhymed they still felt cohesive. How I interpret it is feeling unseen no matter who/what you are.
You tried to be accepted as one thing, then switched to another in an attempt, and when that didn't work you didn't know how to be. You combined it both attempts, picking up broken pieces from both sides and gluing them together. You don't know what the missing pieces are/are meant to be and even though you try to make up for it those missing pieces are needed, but you're trying to make it without them.
I love the different metaphors you use for being lonely/unseen. It really shows the relationship and thought you put into it. With another read it feels as if something happened and you were maybe left behind? Like others were cared for to help but no one was there for you. One of the lines to me even suggests maybe some kind of substance abuse? Maybe smoking/vaping or alcoholism? Maybe drugs?
This way of thinking could be caused by the chemicals, it could have been an issue but then through her way of coping (aka the chemicals) its gotten worse. I don't know, I just have a lot of thoughts and theories on this and especially love how much you can dissect form it. I love this poem, thank you for sharing it and keep up the good work!
Hello!
that happens to me a lot too. However, there's always some sort of good side to these types of things. It adds something else that helps with the plain flow of the work.
I'm not sure if this was intentional or not, but I like the use of solely lowercase letters. It helps to add a visual aspect of the plainness and forgettable of the narrator. I also like how a clear gender isn't established, and with the use of differently gendered or ungendered honorifics like miss, mister, and mix. It also adds to the same point as stated above.
I saw your comment below, and its's sad that you couldn't add the spaces between them
It flows very nicely from one line to the next, and just reading it in my head, I was able to keep a steady rhythm with the words. It makes me quite happy when I can read things that do that.
Lastly, let's talk about the ending! I love the rhetorical questions at the end, showing how even the narrator is starting to forget themself. It could also be interpreted as the narrator convincing themself that SOMEONE remembers them, even though that person is themself (especially shown in "Do I know me?"). "Aren't I lonely?" sort of gives me the thought that they don't really know what's going on anymore, and I can really relate to that!
Overall, I love all the parts of this, especially how it all comes together.
Amazing job! Keep up the great work!
Have a wonderful/night, and thank you!
Thank you for the review! I really appreciate it :>
No problem! I love reviewing your stuff! :3