Young Writers Society

To be honest, I'm in love with thid poem as a whole. The theme, the diction, the style everything!

Honesty someone hit me.
This was so good,and so true in so many ways. I love how the song turned into a style of art. It was very beautiful even if it was short. I really enjoyed it.

Hello!!

I think this is a really great idea you have going here. You have a lot of golden lines in here. I truly believe you can turn this into something stellar.

I like the direction this takes. It's different from most songs that are, nowadays, pointing out what society dictates as flaws and accepting those flaws as what they are. This idea goes the complete opposite direction, it seems. It takes what society dictates a perfect body and sees it as a flaw, something the speaker has a hard time accepting. It's a unique spin on a popular theme.

The imagery used here for the metaphor to a sculpture is just so vivid, so well done. Several of these lines are cleverly written. "white and marble chiseled / my bones carved from stone," "take my eyes, i can't see," "take my heart, i'm just art." These are just among my favorite lines, but you have a lot of good stuff here.

I can't wait to see what you do with it. The ending is abrupt, but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt here that this is unfinished and unpolished. So well done! I look forward to seeing a more polished version if you choose to post one.

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!