(A/N This is the lyrics to the other song I had to make for my music GCSE. It's worth 15% of my overall grade and I would really appreciate it if you could give it a listen! I created all the music and words and provided the backing vocals in verses 1 & 3 and chorus' 2 & 4 . My friend did the main vocals for me)
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG
Dirty town
If a dirty town will get you down
Then I should be six feet underground
There's nothing I love in this dirty town
.
Want to leave but I can't get out of here
Want to stay but I can't face all my fears
If I leave then I will never come back
.
I look around this place I call home
But it's all deserted and I'm on my own
don't think it's safe to be out alone
Can't ever let the children roam
.
I try to get to the door
But I can't see any more
How could I be so blind?
This dirty town that's on my mind
.
She tries to get to the door
But she can't see any more
How could she be so blind?
This dirty town that's on her mind
.
I need to leave this god damn slum
Full of guns
And full of shame
she wants the same
.
You don't know what goes on here
All the children live in constant fear
Families broken, shattered like panes of glass
Before it cuts me, I gotta get out fast
.
On the bright side I grew up here
All of my memories they were made here
All of my friends now how could I forget?
Maybe it's not so bad?
.
All the people in the town are going mad
They laugh when I say it's all bad
They grabbed me by the wrists and they wont
They wont let me leave
.
I try to get to the door
But I can't see any more
The whole town's gone blind
Oh God they're getting into my mind
.
Gotta get out of here and I
Gotta get out of here
I need to leave
now I can't breathe
.
now I can't breathe
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Hello 4evergreen.
Am moon!
I really enjoyed reading this! I can definitely see why you used “Dirty Town” as the title because the whole song has this dark, trapped feeling throughout. The repeated lines like “I gotta get out of here” and “now I can’t breathe” really make the feeling of desperation come through.
I also liked how the lyrics show two sides of the town. At first it feels completely horrible and unsafe, but then there’s that part about growing up there, having memories and friends there, and wondering if maybe it isn’t so bad after all. That made the song feel more real because leaving somewhere you grew up in wouldn’t necessarily be simple.
The shift from “I” to “she” was interesting too, and the ending felt really intense.
One small suggestion would be to check a few lines for wording and flow, especially if you ever revise the lyrics. Some parts feel a little uneven when read on their own, .
Overall, this was really interesting to read, and I hope you keep making songs!
thanks for the review, moon. Can I ask what specific parts you thought were uneven / didn't flow as well, specifically? This is 7 years old at this point, so maybe I should revise it!
Of course! I mostly meant the “Dirty Town” lyrics. A few parts felt a little abrupt when I read them without the music, especially the switch from “I try to get to the door” to “She tries to get to the door,” and the “Full of guns / And full of shame / she wants the same” part. The “They grabbed me by the wrists…” section also felt a little unfinished on the page. But it was just my thoughts
Hey 4evergreen,
Wow this is really impressive, fantastic job!
This is powerful song the lyrics are kinda mellow which I like, it's amazing how you wrote the everything you're very talented! I play the keyboard so I know anything music involved isn't easy.
Since I have no negatives two thumbs up! I hope to see and listen to more from you soon!
Happy writing!
~EdelDove
Thank you so much! It really means a lot
I don't think it would be my kind of music, normally, but I really enjoyed the song. Your friend sings very well. I also found the experience you describe very relatable.
I grew up in a pretty bad neighborhood and, as much as all you want is to get out, it's home.
The strangest, spookiest thing is that the people who starts out wanting to get out, same as you, just disappear one after the other. They drop out.
Thank you so much! And I completely get what you mean about people wanting to get out just disappearing..
Right? Good luck with the teachers, anyway. I hope they'll like it as much as we do.
ahh thank you!
Hey 4revgreen!
Not bad!!
It's not really my type of music though but it's good.
All i have to say is when you guys sing project your voice a little more.
I could understand most of it but when i tried to read the lyrics while you guys sang i got lost..
Either than that it's great!
Also tell your friend there really good at singing for me!
Good luck!
Sincerely Anma
Thank you
And I will tell her 
We tried to be loud but we didn't want to drown out the music
Ya lol, don't do that either. But don't let the music drowned out you either!
Wow...this was really good. I listened to it and it gave me chills! You sounds REALLY good! I am totally blown away!
Thank you so much!! It means a lot
I worked my ass of for months on this, but I must give credit to my friend who sang most of it too lol!