Hi 4revgreen! That was an awesome song. I loved the rhythm, the music, the tone, and both of your voices so much! I'd like to give you and your friend a pat on the back for pulling it off - great work. Of course, i don't think it'd be a good idea to take my views professionally; i love music, but i know next to nothing when it actually comes down to it - i just enjoy a good tune 
The lyrics are good- the fit well together, don't seem forced. I wish i knew the show you're talking about; i bet that would make this so much more nicer to read- and make me feel so much more.
The speaker seems pretty confident; powerful, etc etc - what i mean to say, there's great characterization in this poem, i feel like i know my protagonists well enough already. There's a threat, and then an offer - all fall together rather perfectly to give the readers an idea of who they're reading about.
There's not really much i can say - this is lyrics, and poetry, so i don't really want to comment on any of the structure, punctuation, bla bla.
By the way, the version in youtue's pretty cool too - aren't there some extra lines there? They're awesome too - I think you should add them here, it would make it all the more better to read.
Won't God come and meet us?
Won't God come and greet us
This is, of course, my favourite part. Ah, the confidence! The beautiful audacity! I love it. These people demand power; and there's no way they're leaving without out. This is repetition at its most splendid use.
Anyway, I really loved this (i said that somewhere before right?).
Keep writing!
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