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Young Writers Society



Your's, Mine, Our's

by MadameLuxestrange


Sadness is loss.
It is the crys of 
Loved ones in pain.
It is the hurt of love unreturned.
It is the tugging on heartstrings.

Sadness is a father
Leaving his child to
Face the world alone.
It is the mother who
Drinks herself into oblivion.

Sadness is losing your
Best friend to the
Cruelty of different
Fates.  Different futures.
It is the despair and 
Feeling alone and isolated.

Sadness is the pictures
Of dead children,
Their faces sickly and thin.
It is the thought of
Their ears never hearing 
The lullaby their mother sang again.

Sadness is the victims
Of hate, ending their
Pain for good.
It is their parents who
Had so much more to say
To them.

Sadneess to me
Is looking into the eyes
Of someone I love and not
Seeing in their eyes the same
Love I feel.

Sadness to me
Is losing someone.
It is the feeling of
Helplessness -- hopelessness.
It is my pain.
What's yours?

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Mon May 14, 2012 1:35 am
Kale wrote a review...



It is the crys of

Should be "cries".

Sadneess to me


"Sadness" is misspelled here.

This poem is very plain, for lack of a better word. Sadness is such a powerful emotion, but rather than explore some poignant situations and types of sadness, you stated them, and the stating without imagery or poetic device made the situations sound so impersonal, as if they were more clinical observations than types of sadness that were actually felt.

Rather than just tell us what sadness is, show us what it's like to be a particular kind of sad. Simile, metaphor, and figurative language are your best friends when it comes to showing things, and you really need to do more showing, less telling, especially in poetry.

There are a couple of articles in the Knowledge Base section of the site that deal with poetic devices which you can find here: viewforum.php?f=152 Suzanne's article on writing Emotional Poetry is one I highly recommend in this case.

Good poetry does more than just tell us about something; it shows us what something is and lets us feel it for ourselves. If you can capture that in your own poems, you'll be golden.





Pain is filtered in a poem so that it becomes finally, in the end, pleasure.
— Mark Strand