z

Young Writers Society



fear of heights

by Shadeflame


vertigo

what a strange word

it rolls over your tongue

and ends abruptly

like the sudden jolt at

the end of a long fall                                                                                                                                      

whenever i hear it

i think of the french word

for green

not blue, like the sky

but vert like the grass

the trees                                                                                                                                                        

it always confused me

you feel vertigo in the sky

not on the earth

or so they tell me                                                                                                                                          

I always feel at home

in the air

my head in the

clouds

but because of that

they all underestimate me

think i am far far away

when really,

i am nearer than they know

and i can see better

than any of them                                                                                                                                            

maybe that comes

from being like a bird

eagle eyes

but i am a hawk

and so different

than everyone else                                                                                                                                        

they tell me i should stay

grounded

that i shouldn’t fly

that i am safer with my feet

firmly planted on the soil

their fear makes them 

want to 

keep me caged

                                                                                                                                    

acrophobia

they say it means

fear of heights

but i could never imagine

being afraid of

the thing that frees me


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
70 Reviews


Points: 415
Reviews: 70

Donate
Wed Mar 24, 2021 2:24 pm
BEASTtheHUN says...



I like this poem, it doesn't make me feel like I am completely lost in a sea of literary imagery. That being said, the imagery is very, very good. I am not one to normally read poems, partly because I can't really understand it all the time, but this was really good. Thanks for the good read. Peace out!




User avatar
103 Reviews


Points: 390
Reviews: 103

Donate
Wed Mar 24, 2021 1:13 pm
waywardxwanderer wrote a review...



OH. wow. this poem is. absolutely stunning.

I am here!! for a lil review :)

The first stanza is PERFECTLY put together. It gives the same feeling as falling, really. I was not quite sure of where you were going with it until it hit me at the last couple of lines. That was really beautifully done, and it takes a lot of technique to accomplish something like that.

I love the way your poem goes to and fro like a train of thought. The second and third stanzas are perfect for the tone of the poem, and they create this very human effect that is wondering and thinking things over and connecting dots for things many wouldn't think of.

"i am nearer than they know/ and i can see better/ than any of them." I have no words for this portion. It's absolutely beautiful, and it creates such a lovely and dreamlike mood.

The sixth stanza is so beautiful, and it really ties together a lot of the loose ends. Green, like the earth, the only people getting vertigo are those uncomfortable in the sky. This is so creative?? SO incredibly, beautifully creative.

The last stanza is stunning. It's a wonderful, powerful end to a very strong poem. I have one little critique (that may not even be a critique, I;d just like to ask you about it): the last stanza is the first time you use the word 'acrophobia'. It sort of introduces an almost new topic to the poem. If it was followed by another stanza, that would be something different, but the last stanza is mostly to wrap things up and end it on a strong note.

Altogether, a beautiful and masterful poem. I absolutely loved it, and I will definitely be coming back to read it again. Thanks for writing this! You should definitely be proud.




User avatar
43 Reviews


Points: 87
Reviews: 43

Donate
Thu Jul 30, 2020 10:34 pm
View Likes
Beautifulsparkle wrote a review...



Hello, I am here to review the poem. It is a very interesting one. First you explain the meaning of vertigo, or better said, your feeling about the word. In my mind when I say the word vertigo I imagine some sort of toy spinning for I have many fond memories of childhood toys that did that. On the other hand, one time I was spinning around and shattered some glass that hurt my ear so I gues I am neutral about the word.
Than you make a wide observation about the French origin of the word and how amusing it is that it paints the image of the trees and the ground when you usually feel vertigo on the sky.
I like how you told about having your head in the clouds, I take it that means being a dreamer yet seeing people clearer than they like to believe, like someone having eagle eyes and being able to distinguish between people's personalities. When I was younger I was a dreamer too, I still am a bit. I liked to analyse my fellow classmates but I was shy too.It created a sort of distance...
I also enjoy the fact that though they tell you not to dream you follow your dreams and fly.Then you end the poem similar to how you started it by describing the fear of heights and yet you take control of the situation and don't let fear exist where you feel free , you don't let anything except freedom and happiness define you.I like it that you ended it in an inquisitive yet sorta positive note, and I enjoyed your thoughts. It was a beautiful poem.




Shadeflame says...


Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked this poem! :D



User avatar


Points: 175
Reviews: 3

Donate
Tue Jul 28, 2020 9:17 am
View Likes
legolas1122 says...



hi @Shadeflame

wow this was a nice poem i really liked it and no mistakes and i didn't read any poem with no mistakes well one "Black lives matter "by @potter4life really nice one




User avatar
53 Reviews


Points: 1305
Reviews: 53

Donate
Tue Jul 28, 2020 3:22 am
View Likes
VioletFantasy wrote a review...



Hello there! I’d like to review your wonderful piece of writing. I enjoyed this script quite a lot. It was very relatable and I feel like it kind of describes most writers. We have been known to have our heads in the clouds, always thinking and dreaming things that are more interesting than what is going on around us. Also, you have done an extraordinary job of keeping a steady flow of words. It’s not the least bit choppy, which is no small accomplishment. I only have one critique that isn’t very big. Could you capitalise your “I”s and maybe the letter of the first word in each stanza? I think this would make it easier to read. I hope this review helps! Never let anyone clip your wings!!
Violet Fantasy




Shadeflame says...


Thanks for the review Violet! The capitalization in this poem is purposeful, and I felt it added to the aesthetic, but I'm glad you liked it anyways.




Always do what you are afraid to do.
— E. Lockhart, We Were Liars