Removed Work

Hey there, Adri!

Seeing a lot of love for this piece, so I'm pretty hyped.
As usual, it'll be a grammar-based review from me, with lackluster comments on the story itself at the end, so let's get on with it, eh?

so Rowan was perplexed about this method of punishment for him.

“perplexed by” would be more accurate, I think? It's a smoother read, at least.

The worst punishment she had ever gotten — at the age of four — was being submerged into a river while thrashing and screaming.

Two things with this sentence. One is the dashes. The previous sentence had similar dashes, and it kind of makes for some stop and go reading at the beginning of your story? Maybe not, might just be 'cause I'm tired. Lots of dashes look a bit funky, but you're probably fine.
Second thing is: “being submerged into a river” sounds weird? Maybe “being submerged in a river”?

She sat still in her chair, only tapping her foot against the wood.

I get that you're saying she's still, except for her foot, but it reads kind of awkwardly to me? I mean, I can go through it just fine, but if you pause and pay attention to it, there's a weird feeling. I'm not sure what to suggest on editing this, but it might not even be necessary – this is just a suggestion.

Her pajamas clung tight to her body, technically two sizes too small but it pressure was pleasant.

“But it pressure was pleasant.” [TYPO TYPO TYPO] I assume you meant “its”?
I also think a comma after “small” could help this sentence, but it's up to youu.

The execution of dialogue tags before dialogue has always been weird to me. It feels like the story is being told from an outside force, more than experienced by the reader? Which I guess stories technically are, but it's similar to telling voice versus showing voice. You want your reader immersed, so having the story sound like it's being told to them doesn't help that. This, to me, feels very much like I'm being told something.
It's not urgent that you change it, lots of stories have tags prior to dialogue. It's just a personal opinion and I don't want to come off as though I'm trying to mold your writing to my own ideas. Take this as a suggestion and nothing more!

Another thing with the dialogue, now about content -

”You can’t bring harm to a human child.”

If this is something that is explained later on, like harming humans will bring some terrible fate down upon them, then you can disregard this (though even then, it sounds kind of odd to say).
However, if it's meant to be Papa telling Mama that she can't do it because it would change her or cause her considerable emotional trauma (or however you wanna explain killing breaking your soul), then it sounds strange. There's more natural ways for him to say this.
But yeah, I'll keep reading and figure out which of the two it is, lel.

She held onto Ash with a seemingly vice like grip.

Is it seemingly, or is it? I think explaining that it is would be fine since this is third person, and even if it isn't an omniscient POV, I'm pretty sure Rowan would be able to tell how tight the grip was. Also, “vice-like”. Gotta hyphenate that, p sure.

Papa was stoic at always — non-chaotic and easy to understand.

[TYPO Typo] “As always”? :^P
Also, non-chaotic? I think it'd be best if you switched this out for a synonym. I can't come up with any to suggest (though I'm not thinking hard). I'm guessing you might have spent some time looking for synonyms, though, knowing you.

Rowan’s breath was heavy in her chest, but she stayed silent. It wasn’t really an issue—staying silent, that is.

I feel like “staying silent, that is” portion isn't entirely necessary, since you just told us she stayed silent and then said it wasn't really an issue. But I can see how it might be mistaken for the fire situation being “not really an issue”. I'll leave this here and let you decide if you wanna rewrite it or not. It's not a big deal, though, so don't worry! It's perfectly fine as it is!
You could remove the “stay silent, that is” and combine this sentence with the next one so that you have “It wasn't really an issue – she never really spoke.”

Words died on her tongue before she had the chance to let them live. 

I wanna suggest a potential rewrite of this sentence, not because it's bad, but because I feel that you could spice it up a bit (not that my suggestion is gonna be much spicier). You could reword it as “Words died on her tongue before she ever had the chance to give them life.”
I put ever because this seems to be talking about most of the time in general, and not this specific moment. If it were about this moment, I'd make it “even”?
I don't really trust my grammatical reasoning here but, -shrug-

((Just suggestions))

but if I’ve been robbed of my real children.

There's a break there without finishing her thought. Like the last work of yours that I reviewed, I recommend swapping the period for a dash to signify a break. Otherwise it looks like you just forgot to finish the sentence when you closed it up?

I tried to return Rowan and they don’t want her back

Did he try this recently? I'm under the impression that Rowan is older (11 at most?), and that they'd try this when she was still a baby. If they haven't tried this recently, I'd suggest changing the “they don't want her back” to “they didn't want her back”. Even if they still don't want her back, I think it would make more sense/sound more natural with the time that's passed.

He was receptive as any toddler could be, sometimes instead preferring to just sit in quiet harmony with no books in the way.

The two ends of the comma sound a bit polarized? Preferring to sit in quiet doesn't give me the image of receptive? I'm not sure if that is considered receptive. If it is, and I'm just not really getting the sentence, then you can disregard this. But, uh, otherwise, I think making it “though sometimes instead preferring”, to mark a distinction between these two behaviors(?).

 she would often eavesdrops on the fights between Mama and Papa,

*eavesdrop

This was often a tactic she would use to grab her half-finished book from the kitchen table without Mama noticing

Having “often” before “tactic” feels off here. It's probably fine, but I'd rework the sentence so that “tactic” comes before “often”. (“This was a tactic she often employed to grab her half-finished book”)

Rowan was older now — eight-years-old

Oh, okay, so the attempt to return Rowan was probably more recent than I thought, whoops. I don't typically think of small children as receptive (wrong word, uhh). So I didn't consider she'd be so young. Even so, my notes on the return of Rowan stand, if they tried to return her a while before the time of that scene.
Also I think it'd just be “eight years old”. You only hyphenate it if you were saying, like, “the eight-year-old”? I'm not one hundred percent sure on that, but yeah.

“So now that Ash is certainly a changeling, you want to ditch? You want to leave me a single mother of two fair folk creatures? Derrick Fowler, you are a despicable man. You’re the one who didn’t want to put the boy in the fire — you’re the one who didn’t want to bring our children back to us.
“The girl's never told me I love you,” Mama sobbed.

Okay, I see you did the line-break-in-dialogue thing. Nice. In my experience, however, there isn't usually another quotation mark before the second line? I think, at least. Usually it goes [quotation mark][dialogue][line break][more dialogue][closing quotation mark], and you can put an indent on the second line to help avoid confusion with it? (I know yewis is funky with formatting, though, so no worries there).
I'm not entirely sure on my comment about the second beginning quotation mark being unnecessary, though, sooo don't put too much trust in that, lel.

 she consumes about 15 books every week.

This might be a personal thing. I dunno if there's grammatical biz with it. But seeing actual numbers in dialogue is kind of weird? I usually have them written out, if characters say them? But ehh it's probably fine. Also, wowee, Rowan. Changeling? Psh, more like bookworm!

You don’t love these children; I don’t love these children; we’ve been robbed of our real children.

! I also don't know about semicolons in dialogue! I think commas or periods would work fine, but that's up to you!

(Also, heck, Mama >:[ Rowan can hear you!)

 But at eight-years-old,

*reinstates no need for hyphens again* (I think)

She crawled across the floor back to her own room, no longer carrying about the sound as she left her door shut behind her.

*caring, yeah?

then putting her index finger over her lips in a “shushing” motion

I think the quotation marks are unnecessary – it'd be fine without 'em!

He swayed back and forth, still tilting his head to the side.

Lel, babby.

After stuffing two paper dolls in, pulling the zipper closed, and slinging the backpack around one shoulder, then she turned to face him.

You've got a rogue “then” there at the end! >:[

etting herself lead the way as she tip-toed out of his room and down the stairs.

Since they're both going, you should switch this to “as they tip-toed”

It’s not like they’d care either, she added as a bitter afterthought.

!! Thoughts! Thoughts are usually italicized to distinguish them from the story narration.

The dawn light streamed in through the windows, making the living room seem absolutely mythical.

I... get what you're going for here? But “mythical” just feels like the wrong word? It sounds like their living room has suddenly popped out of existence and vanished to the realm of legends. You could swap it out with “magical” (though that's pretty cliché), or “ mystical”? Though that may not give the sense that you're looking for. I can't think of many suggestions for this (I'm not great as a thesaurus, lel), but I really think you should consider changing “mythical”.

and she would curl up on the couch to read a book; but she had more than half a mind and a mission to set out on.

I think replacing this semicolon with a period would make this bit flow better. There's a slowly growing abundance of semicolons in this story, and they make for choppy writing if not used well. You've been doing fine, but I think cutting back could do you some good, so I suggest this fella be CHOPPED (some Food Network humor for ya, there).

Rowan turned the doorknob ever so carefully, letting the door creak open with a slow finality. She gestured Ash through and he obeyed, stepping with the care of a toddler.

I think you should add a bit saying it's the front door (or just “Rowan turned the knob of the front door [etc]”) because while I immediately assume it's the front door, you shouldn't leave your readers to make assumptions.
Also, “the care of a toddler” is a bit odd, but no big deal. Just weird because he is a toddler so... His care would probably be that of a toddler? Lel



Great story!! Spoopy ending. I feel sad for Rowan, having to hear Mama and Papa speak so vilely of her and Ash, though.
The pacing was good, I liked the little skips forward in time. They were done nicely and didn't break up the flow any. There's a bit of emptiness, I'm getting, somewhere that I can't quite place. I think it may just be the parents' distance in the story. They don't really feel like they're around unless they're talking? And even then it mostly feels like foggy memories? You might have meant this, or it could be my fatigue speaking. It was all fine, though.

Again, great story, good writing, loved it. I think you've got a great ending as well. Trying to continue it for any longer would have dropped the quality, I think?

Anyway, that's a revieww.

- Hatt